Legitimacy

I keep forgetting that I'm not supposed to have any expectations for people. I get too comfortable and happy and I start trusting people a little and then I get smacked in the face with a dirty sock. What a wake up call. Oddly enough I felt more sadness than anger... maybe it was because I only had puny expectations--the size of an algal cell. I'm improving! I think I would only feel angry if it was H, but that's because I already know she would never do what infuriates me the most. Efficiency. People need to stop wasting my time. Priorities. People need to prioritize the things in their lives. I'm not saying that I'm the most important thing on the face of the Earth, but why would you even bother telling me that I'm... STRESS. Forget it. No expectations.

"Oh my gosh no, you're such a burden."
"What?! Why not? I just want to try one drink with you!"
"NO. Ugh... I'm going to have to haul ass and drag your dead weight body to a hospital. Even thinking about it makes me tired."

HAHA it's nice to know you wouldn't leave me to die~ I'm very grateful.

I turned my bathroom into a sauna. I left the vent off and turned on the water to the hottest temperature. I thought I was being incredibly smart and fancy. I mean... it did work; however, the moment I stood up everything turned pink, my ears started ringing, and I fainted. Good job. Clap clap clap. Maybe the problem here was that I was dehydrated to begin with. It was kind of strange though because the other times I've passed out everything turns black. When was the last time you guys took a bath? I don't mean when did you last bathe yourselves, but when was the last time you used your bathtub. I took a bath yesterday and found out the water here is actually BLUE and it smells like chlorine. Hooray chemicals!

I want to gouge my eyes out. They're stinging because I'm so tired. Insomnia is tiring.