Hard

Is it just me or do we spend the majority of our lives waiting? I was thinking about it today and realized that 80% of the time I'm waiting for something. You go to class and wait until it's over, you go to work and wait for membranes to wash, etc. The list goes on. Even as I'm blogging right now I'm waiting for someone to text me. If we're waiting all the time what exactly are we doing? I don't know, just a random thought for everyone to think about.

I think I spent over 12 hours smiling. My cheek muscles are wasted.

I feel like the majority of my problems could be solved if I could get some more sleep. These past two months have been incredibly painful. Every night it's the same. It's not a mental problem, I'm not thinking about things and my mind isn't constantly on, it's a physiological problem. Something is wrong with my bodily function overall and it makes me want to cry because it's so incredibly frustrating. All I want to do is sleep. What's even more frustrating is that I have to be a wonderfully cheerful person as I go to class, work, etc. when really all I want to do is rot in my closet and let my cells die a slow death. I thought about taking Benadryl for the drowsiness effects, but decided against it because knowing my luck the anti-histamine would be too strong and I would probably get infected by some virus of unknown origin and die regardless.