One

Thanks guys, for driving so far to visit me and paying the $5 toll fee. I'm so touched~ My friends came up to see if I was alive, hangout, and play with Soybean. I laughed so much today that I had to physically hold my stitches in with my hand. In the end, one of them fell out, but I'm not gushing blood or anything, so it should be okay maybe.

"I bet your cabinets are completely empty."
"Yeah, you don't eat food"
"What?! That's absurd. Look, they're full!"

...of expensive tea and dog treats. Tea is vital for life and everyone knows that my dog eats better than I do, so this is justified.