Enlightenment

I'm really curious and very confused. I wonder if people go around seeking temporary relationships. This isn't limited to couple stuff, I'm talking about friendships as well. I've always had this concept firmly ingrained into my head that the purpose of interacting with people (given you like them) was to further develop a relationship. I'm not sure which alien implanted this theory into my brain, but it stuck and for this I am grateful because I have so many forever friends. I think it's self-explanatory, but I'll explain anyway: the types of friends that stay with you forever. Then I realized something... these people that I'm friends with probably all had the same concept ingrained into their brains by the same alien.

I remember in high school I was talking to some girl about these things and she said that I'm a really good friend and that she was jealous of my friendships. I didn't really understand what she meant and I said, "What are you talking about you have more friends than I do" and she responded with "Yeah, but I don't have everlasting friendships." That's when it hit me. Is it supposed to be difficult? I never thought that it could be because this has always been second nature to me. I don't do temporary. That's like a half friendship. If you're one of those friends then you have the unfortunate curse of being my friend for life. I care. I always care a lot. I call people just to say hi because why should I need a reason?

I used to get so frustrated at people that didn't call/text me. I never understood why I had to initiate everything and why I was always the one that cared more, but then I found out that they're not trying to frustrate me on purpose. In most cases they have this temporary mindset and they don't think so much into relationships. They don't care if we don't talk for a week whereas it'll drive me insane. I finally get it. I'm really quite stupid. Anyway, it's not that temporary people are bad, they just become my "hi" people because it's a useless... investment.

There has been an abundance of introspection lately. I'm still waiting for my lab results and I'm convinced I'm facing death, so perhaps that's why. I hope you guys aren't too bored.