The impossible

I was doing laundry at 3:00am as usual and as I walked out and heard the door shut I realized that I left my keys inside. Immediate panic mode. I looked around and there weren't any lights on in the surrounding apartments, so I couldn't knock on anyone's door for fear of getting whacked in the head by a half-awake person with a frying pan. I didn't know what to do until I noticed that one of the laundry room windows was open. I almost broke my hand, but I managed to take out the screen door and then I dragged a pool chair over to the window and hopped over a bush to climb in and retrieve my keys. You know when people tell you that you can do anything you put your mind to? I could be a thief if I wanted to. What a rush. I felt like 007. You better watch your laundry... who knows where I'll strike next. Yes, I am aware that most of the excitement in my life occurs in the laundry room. There's nothing wrong with that, let me be.

If you're studying... 30 second dance party. Do it now. NOW. 

There are only three textbooks that I don't regret owning: 1. Molecular Cell Biology 2. Human Physiology 3. Organic Chemistry. I think these are the only three books that I've actually opened outside of class--mostly for work, but it's beneficial nonetheless. Maybe I should just write a textbook, modify two sentences every few years to create new editions, and continually leech money off of poor students. Does anyone want to write one with me? I'm going to be first author though. If I go through the trouble of writing a fatty book I refuse to be recognized as "et al."