Jelly

This whole job search thing is giving me a headache. I'm trying to find something that will increase my income, but the pay for undergraduates is incredibly low. Most jobs are half of what I'm getting paid right now and the only reason why I'm getting paid well is because I already went through those "slave labor" years and my supervisor knows that I'm useful. Maybe I shouldn't be so greedy. What I'm trying to do is change one job and two internships into two jobs and one internship, but I'm really not getting anywhere because I'm too picky. I might as well go and become an alfalfa breeder. They pay $26/hour, isn't that ridiculous? In any event, I highly doubt they would hire me because I'm a plant killer. By the way, let's take a second to mourn for my strawberry plant that passed away a few days ago. In my defense it's pretty hot here. Although not watering it for a week probably doesn't help much...

My running buddy is a lazy baboon, my tennis buddy went to study abroad, and most of my basketball buddies have graduated. This makes me sad. I need to recruit people to workout with me, but going to the gym is the last thing people want to do if they have free time. I'm so alone in this world. My friends keep telling me to go swimming with them. I keep trying to explain that I don't swim, I drown. Actually, most of my near death drowning incidents have been a disposition of my stupidity. The first time I nearly drowned was when I didn't know how to swim and I was using one of those floating donuts or whatever they're called. At the time, I was the only one that didn't know how to swim, so they thought it would be fun to play tag and make me "it." I got incredibly frustrated because the donut was hindering my movement, so I slipped out of it to try to catch my friend. Being the smart six year old that I was, I did this in 6-foot deep water. Anyway, swimming isn't really my thing. I'm like a useless piece of kelp--aimlessly floating around and clinging to people.