Encore

Who knew moving could be this painful? Literally. I'm so injured. Last night when I was putting up posters I fell off my chair and stabbed myself on something. It was either a drawer or the leg of the chair. Either way, I now have large bruises everywhere and my leg has been bleeding profusely. Squirt squirt. Not to mention I keep hitting my head on everything. It's completely ridiculous; the vent, counter, and I nearly chopped my head off because my trunk fell on me while I was stuffing something inside.

Anyway, moving aside I have something to say about last night. They clapped for me. Not only that, but they gave me thumbs ups, high fives, good jobs, and a standing ovation. It's a really nice feeling. I think that was the first time in my life that people have ever clapped for me and not at me. You guys know what the difference is right? When you clap at someone it's obligatory or common courtesy i.e. end of a school play, end of a presentation, etc. but when you clap for someone is because you truly think that they deserve recognition for what they've done. It just--it made me feel special in a way and I hope I can continue doing this for the rest of my life.

Also, let me just say that I was wrong. My previous way of thinking was wrong. Not all drunkards are horrible people. I think I understand that now.

Just

I know I haven't updated in eons. I was busy procrastinating on studying for my final which is in a few hours. Wish me luck. I'm probably going to fail at this rate. Though if I fail I think I can still manage an A since the average in the class is a 43%. We shall see. A lot has been happening recently, perhaps I will update later on today if I'm not too delirious/delusional.

Who the fruit comes up with these protein names? -_- I am not impressed. Oops, sorry the quality is really bad. I attached the wrong file, but I'm too lazy to care.

Scandalous

I should have been finishing another lab report last night, but I decided that I would wash my car instead. However, I became lazy and ended up not washing my car at all. In reality this is what happened:

Recently there's been a trend going on where people will have all matching nails except for one. That one nail will be different from the other ones. It's called an accent nail. The other day when I was with E she had accent nails and I asked her why she had a random nail on each hand. I told her that if she was too poor I could buy her nail polish. She said I was stupid and informed me of the recent trend. I also told her that I thought Snooki was Kim Kardashian's sister. Oops, guess not. Anyway, after I did my nails I had to show her...

We spend most of our time making fun of one another. 11 years and counting BFFL I love this fool. :)

Scrambled egg

I'm trying out a new moisturizer. It's supposed to repair wrinkles and redefine the 3 dimensions of my face (which I did not know existed). It's actually an anti-aging solution and since I feel like I'm 60 years old it should work. I think I just need to get out of here, travel, see the world, etc. I feel like I'm suffocating with all of my labs and constantly worrying about everything. I'm freaking Atlas. I wish that my supervisor didn't have to rely on me so much, but at the same time if he didn't need to rely on me I would have been fired a long time ago. What a paradoxical relationship.

Alright, that's enough of me whining. I'm actually still in an incredibly good mood despite the fact that I'm feeling this way. This may or may not have something to do with the chicken bowl that I bought this weekend. I relish in the fact that I will allow myself to buy completely unnecessary items when I'm feeling like ----, but if they can make me smile then it's justified, right?

Minus 24

You know what ruins a good mood? People. Fortunately, I was so happy this morning that it didn't make much of a difference. I just think that some people... I'm not even going to start. So frustrating.

Anyway, this weekend on our way to the mall E saw this funeral car for dogs, so I had to take a picture. It's a bit much right? Then I thought about it for a while longer... What if your little sister died, but you couldn't afford to pay for a real funeral car? This could very well be a viable option. 

What do people do with dead animals? The best thing I could come up with was to bury them in the backyard. I mean, clearly you're not going to flush your cat down the toilet. I buried my fish instead of flushing them. Poor Zebra and Sashimi. They now serve as fertilizer for an ugly plant that is probably going to die sometime soon.

When H came down we went "eye shopping" (equivalent of window shopping in Korean) and stumbled across this book. It reminds me of an adult version of Good Night Moon. Completely ridiculous. 

Luna

Good grief. I just got back 40 minutes ago and now I have to go to work. Worst day of my life. It should be okay though since I'm in a really good mood for no reason. :) I'll do a weekend update after I get back home today. You guys can laugh at this for now.

Chicken little

M: "Joanna, I have to tell you some bad news."
J: "Okay, what?"
M: "You know when you wear your hat and glasses frames and go out dressed like a crazy person thinking that you're all secretive and no one recognizes you?"
J: "Yeah?"
M: "You look exactly the same as you usually do... so..."

Really?! That's so disappointing! I feel like I'm so well disguised! Here, you guys can judge for yourselves.

The bags under my eyes are no joke. Please ignore them. I have so many I could go shopping... ha... okay, not funny. Anyway, I only go out looking like this when I'm too lazy to put on real clothes. Of course whenever I do I always walk really fast and avoid direct eye contact with everyone. Darn. Maybe I should go out in a chicken suit--though somehow I feel that might draw more attention.

Look at what happened to my car! I swear it's not because I'm always checking myself out. I flipped the thing to the front when I was driving and the mirror fell down and stabbed my thigh. I tried to fix it and then the plastic thing came off too. My car is officially turning into a ghetto junker. Sad life :( I'm saving up to buy one of these.

Y

A quick rant before I go study.

Why?

1. Shutter shades
2. What skirt?
3. MC
4. Finger shoes?
5. Pickles

5 Things I will never figure out. If you have valid reasoning for the existence of these five things, please enlighten me because quite frankly I think they're despicable.

Blank

I have this problem where I have a hard time telling people things directly. Even if I do they never take me seriously because I joke around too much on a regular basis. I'm also very bad at confrontation. Everything I say is drenched in sarcasm. "Take off your shoes" turns into: If you want to spare me the pain of going Cinderella status on the floor after you leave, you will take your shoes off and "Can you clean up your hair" is the equivalent of: I like how you pull out your hair and scatter it everywhere like a flower girl when you enter the bathroom. It's nice to know that I can now knit a hair sweater. See? What's wrong with me. Slightly relevant, want to know what else I said? I went to the office today to ask them when I could move in and it went something like this:

J: "Hey so I was just wondering when I could move in?"
N: "Your unit will be ready on the 28th."
J: "...You know my apartment number?"
N: "Yeah, isn't it ###?"
J: "Woah... You remember me? I'm so touched"
N: "Ha......" awkward silence

I need to learn to just stop talking. -_- Also, this morning I was talking to my professor and it turned into a 20 minute conversation about arabidopsis. What was I thinking? Goodness. I really wasn't expecting him to be a plant person but now that I think about it I'm not surprised. He's such a nice quiet guy.

You know, it's probably good that I don't have kids. I would be one of those embarrassing parents. I would dress my baby up like a bee or a lady bug all the time. It's Halloween every day b$&#^. Sorry, that felt like the appropriate place to insert profanity though it probably wasn't necessary.

...it tried to eat me, so I taped it to the ground. I wish I knew more people that would be willing to kill bugs for me. Well, the future residents of this apartment are in for a surprise.

Official

Starbucks baristas will never cease to amaze me. It's such a nice way to start off the day. I really don't think I've ever received a genuine smile from anyone else at 5:00am--even those that claim to be "morning people." The other day my friend wanted me to wake her up at 6:00am to go to the gym. When she answered the phone she sounded like a dying moose, got mad at me, and wailed for me to go away. Not such a morning person after all, eh? Then I showed up on her doorstep (because that's what happens when you ignore me) and when she opened the door she looked like this. I think I jumped and said something because I remember getting hit. Sad life :( Well, Mondays.

You know what I did this weekend? I watched half a season of New Girl. I think my brain cells have decreased significantly. At one point I thought my brain was liquefying.  That being said, that show is  pretty dang funny. Go watch it if you have nothing better to do with your life.

Isn't that disgusting? The ants were abnormally large as well. 

Orange cones

I'm sure no one cares, but the lines in the parking lot are finally drawn. They look really clean. I kind of like it. I just don't like the fact that our neighborhood has been smelling like burnt toad for the past week (not that I go around burning toads...). Anyway, I'm just glad they're done. I'm sick of parking my car a mile away and having to run really fast to avoid tanning. Hmm... though I've lost two pounds randomly... on second thought maybe they should re-pave the parking lot again.

I really hope no one can figure out where I live due to these pictures. I feel like it's hard to tell, but I might have some CSI-status stalkers out there, who knows. I guess it doesn't really matter much given the fact that I'm moving in two weeks. P.S. can you guys come help again? :)

This is incredibly hypocritical don't you think? The government spends thousands of dollars making advertisements about countries without water and taking five minute showers, but then goes and waters the ground. Nice. Way to set an example. Perhaps even dirt gets thirsty when it hits 106 degrees.

Did you guys read the news about a spider crawling into someone's ear when they were sleeping and staying there for five days? So freaking disgusting. That has got to be one of my biggest fears: insects hiding in unexpected places and laying eggs. I've also read stories about eggs being laid in someone's eyes, under skin, etc. It really makes me want to isolate myself in a giant hamster ball and never come out.

Gremlin

I went outside and my car was gone. I forgot that they were still doing the whole road thing because they didn't put up any signs, so they towed my car. I was running around frantically for about 15 minutes thinking that they must have sent my car into oblivion. I was about to give up and start crying out of frustration when I found it parked at the very corner of the furthest parking lot. Wow... I almost had a heart attack. I'm too old for this.

It's kind of dark... I hope you guys can read that. I can't believe I've been living here for three years and I didn't see this sign until two days ago. It's comforting to know that I will have deformed children in the future. Either that or I'll die of cancer. Better yet, I'll have deformed children with cancer as I die of cancer. Hooray.

While I should have been studying for the practical I spent an hour watching dog videos. I'm probably doomed, but how can you resist this overwhelming cuteness?

Specificity

This is hilarious. This is probably where models get their inspiration. Somewhat related, I still can't figure out why people on Facebook take pictures with their arms sticking out at a ninety degree angle. I tried it and it didn't seem to make me look any better, so I'm still confused.

The other day I was looking at my arms and I realized that I have a lot of scars, but the weird thing is the fact that I can remember exactly how I got each one. There was this one scar that I got in art class when we were using x-acto knives to etch out some intricate design. The guy next to me (I never liked him) was fooling around with the knife and he stabbed my arm. I stood there bleeding because I was in shock and didn't know how to respond. I managed to scream out "What the hell! You stabbed me!" but I don't remember much else about what happened after that.

The scar on my forehead was from preschool. I was running to try and get the crayons before the other kid when I ran straight into the shelf and my head started bleeding. I remember the preschool instructor completely freaked out and started calling a bunch of people. For some reason I didn't cry. It's probably one of the advantages of having a big head. I know I went to get stitches, but I don't remember anything after the anesthesia.

Jelly

This whole job search thing is giving me a headache. I'm trying to find something that will increase my income, but the pay for undergraduates is incredibly low. Most jobs are half of what I'm getting paid right now and the only reason why I'm getting paid well is because I already went through those "slave labor" years and my supervisor knows that I'm useful. Maybe I shouldn't be so greedy. What I'm trying to do is change one job and two internships into two jobs and one internship, but I'm really not getting anywhere because I'm too picky. I might as well go and become an alfalfa breeder. They pay $26/hour, isn't that ridiculous? In any event, I highly doubt they would hire me because I'm a plant killer. By the way, let's take a second to mourn for my strawberry plant that passed away a few days ago. In my defense it's pretty hot here. Although not watering it for a week probably doesn't help much...

My running buddy is a lazy baboon, my tennis buddy went to study abroad, and most of my basketball buddies have graduated. This makes me sad. I need to recruit people to workout with me, but going to the gym is the last thing people want to do if they have free time. I'm so alone in this world. My friends keep telling me to go swimming with them. I keep trying to explain that I don't swim, I drown. Actually, most of my near death drowning incidents have been a disposition of my stupidity. The first time I nearly drowned was when I didn't know how to swim and I was using one of those floating donuts or whatever they're called. At the time, I was the only one that didn't know how to swim, so they thought it would be fun to play tag and make me "it." I got incredibly frustrated because the donut was hindering my movement, so I slipped out of it to try to catch my friend. Being the smart six year old that I was, I did this in 6-foot deep water. Anyway, swimming isn't really my thing. I'm like a useless piece of kelp--aimlessly floating around and clinging to people.

Flash

I don't know what's wrong with me, but every time I drive pass road kill or anything that slightly resembles a dead carcass I freak out and my heart starts beating really fast. I don't know why I'm so shocked/scared. I can't kill it again. Maybe it's the fact that I don't want to get blood on my wheels. Gross. This one time I was driving at night and there was this giant thing lying on the road, but I couldn't see it very well. I automatically swerved and almost drove into an irrigation ditch. I felt really dumb after I realized it was a piece of tree that had conveniently fallen in the middle of the road.

A lot of people are going crazy over the Olympics right now, but I find it kind of sad. Normal people probably don't think the way I do and they enjoy watching it. I just think it's sad that people train ridiculously hard for four years for events that last less than two minutes and end up getting silver because of a few milliseconds. While everyone looks at the smiling gold medalist, I always pay attention to the person that got silver. They just look so sad. What's even worse is that one triathlon runner that lost by .003 seconds or something like that. It's completely ridiculous. It's not one of those events that end in five minutes. I wouldn't take part in a triathlon if they offered me money. Knowing me, I would probably swim for two minutes and subsequently start drowning. Anyway, I think the only thing to look forward to is the abundance of shirtless guys with eight packs.

Even though everyone is Michael Phelps crazy, I fell in love with Ricky Berens because he has a killer smile. He's super cute. I told my friend about this and she responded with:

M: "You also have a killer smile..."
J: "Why thank you :)"
M: "No... I mean you smile like an axe murderer"
J: "... -___-... sigh"

I should have seen that coming.

To find

R: "You're such a liar!"
J: "What? Why?"
R: "I waved at you yesterday, but you walked away!"

MY BAD. Okay, you guys have to realize that I don't do this intentionally. I'm pretty much blind when it comes to seeing people. If I look like I'm avoiding you it's probably because I truly cannot see you. Well, I mean... unless I jump into a nearby bush... then it probably means I'm avoiding you. The fact that I'm always wearing sunglasses doesn't help the situation, but if I don't wear sunglasses my eyes start to water like crazy when I'm outside. The optometrist says that I have a very thin cornea. If I happen to take off my sunglasses I'll probably start squinting and that's when people accuse me of glaring at them. I'm so misunderstood. :(

Yesterday a grandma complimented my clothing. This happens too often. Middle aged women and old ladies always have something to say about my attire. I'm not too sure if I should be happy or concerned. I'm starting to question whether or not I dress like a grandma. If anything at least let me be a sexy grandma.

I was going to email my supervisor, but changed my mind after I realized that I drank over a liter of tea and coffee. Nothing good ever comes out of delusional emails. You know how gmail has that one feature that allows you to "un-send" something? It's actually limited to only a few minutes after you send it, making it completely useless. If I send something out I'm not going to realize that what I wrote was completely ridiculous until when/if I read it again while not delusional which is precisely why I have so many "Oh my gosh, I can't believe I just said that" moments in my life. Whoo. I feel (and probably look) like a potato today. Is today groundhog's day or am I completely off?