Verdict?

I don't want to spend 400 dollars to buy a new phone, but it has to be done. I'm trying to prolong it for another two weeks because I'm extremely poor at the moment. Actually, I'm always extremely poor. If anyone wants to donate money for the poor fat girl it would be greatly appreciated. Please pity my quadruple chin, jiggly thighs, and cellulite stomach. I wonder if anyone would donate money to me if I held up a sign: [Will work for Liposuction]

Speaking of donating... I feel really guilty. I'm pretty sure my guilty conscience is larger than most peoples' guilty consciences. Around three weeks ago there was an old grandma sitting inside Safeway and she wanted people to donate to the special olympics. She smiled at me and asked, "Would you like to donate to Special Olympics today?" At the time I only had my card on me because I'm lazy like that, so I told her sorry I only have my card. She then smiled and wished me a good day. After that happened I kept thinking about it and thinking about it. I almost went back to my car to get money for her, but I didn't (once again, I am lazy). Now it has been three weeks and I still feel really guilty that I didn't donate. 1. because she was really nice and 2. I think she was special as well. Thus, every weekend since that weekend I make an effort to go to Safeway on Saturday to see if she's there. Unfortunately, she hasn't been there, hence my guilty conscience is eating me alive. Why does it have to be this way?? I care about things too much.