Citizen fail

Out of sheer laziness I've been drinking water out of one of those Arrowhead 3L bottles. It's mostly because I don't really want to go through the hassle of having to get up and refill it every five seconds due to the fact that I am a whale and I need to constantly rehydrate myself or else I will shrivel away like a prune and die.

You have got to be kidding me. Guess what date it's on? December 27th. Three days before my death day. Why does this have to happen to me? Injustice! The worst part is the fact that I've already postponed it twice--and this is precisely why I wanted to remain a fob for eternity. Augh. FML.

It's a banana pen... I know right? :)