Facula

Hey look, a twerky! This seems to be appropriate for the season.

Yes, that was necessary.

Favela

Oops. I got carried away with shopping and I started neglecting my blog. To summarize, I'm more broke than I was before, so that's always fun. 2:00am-10:00pm; some happenings of the day:

Brr... it's cold.
BRR! It's cold in here! There must be something wrong with the atmosphere... Do you know that or am I too old?
...You're too old.

Wait I need to get my book because you're going to be in Banana for three hours.
What?? I'm not going to be in there for three hours. This is ridiculous!
YOU'RE ridiculous!

I was trying to go to my car when this creepy guy shouted, "Hey baby what's up?" which I ignored and responded with, "HMM I can't find my car" and walked away. Along those lines there were five employees that kept stalking me at Guitar Center. I can't figure out if it's because they thought I was going to break something or if it was because I was playing drifting (I was pretty impressed that one of them knew what I was playing), which attracts a lot of attention, so I don't generally like playing it in public.

Oh and apparently Forever 21 is advocating for The Scarlet Letter. Get it while it's hot. Keep it scandalous.

Future

I know this is supposed to be inspirational and all, but it just made me want to eat jellybeans. As a kid I really liked juicy pear, but those Harry Potter beans ruined it because they made the same pattern on the booger flavored jelly bean. Also, my ear is still infected because someone gave me a graduation present and told me that it was white gold when it clearly wasn't because my ear has been and continues to be the size of a cauliflower. Did you guys know that ___Buy is starting their Black Friday sale at 6:00pm on Thanksgiving? That's not a typo. Unbelievable.

I'm really hooked onto Just Dance. The sad part is my audio component cable hasn't even arrived yet, so I've been playing without sound. It's what I get for being cheap and having it journey from China. Anyway, I'm pretty sure I look like an idiot or a psycho (probably a combination of the two), but it's super fun and I think you guys should join me. Speaking of dancing, I started doing U-jam a while ago and it's awesome because it's more upbeat/hip hop-ey. It took me a while to figure out that Zumba is over-hyped--or maybe sexy Latin was never my thing.

Fascination

Kimchi fried... quinoa! It sounds odd, but it ended up being pretty good. Also, I have some big news! Let me take a moment to tell you guys that I'm getting married! Psych. I would never announce that on social media, but I do, however, have some big news... I successfully roasted chestnuts! You would think that roasting chestnuts is simple, but it took me five or six times to perfect it though I'm sure no one cares. Speaking of potential love interests... there's this one creeper... Ugh. Never mind, I don't want to go into detail. Just know that I am deeply irritated and wish someone would save me.

To the imbecile: You cannot demand respect from people if you do not give them the same respect that you desire. You have a masters degree, but that doesn't mean you're a better person than anyone else. You're horrible and that's why no one likes you. Sad life.

Friction

Are you going on a date?
No, I'm going to sell drugs.
What? But it's a Tuesday..

Hey, what are you doing?
I'm doing bad things.
I know, but when are you coming back?

Sorry, I left some bras out...
That's okay, it's probably from your night job.

-_- my reputation is going down the drain.

Franchise

You can only be mad at someone if you care, but at the same time anger and frustration are a function of certain emotions that are triggered for one reason or another. You will cease to feel anger and frustration if you find the underlying cause and alter your disposition. I agree that most people in the world are frustrating, but that's not going to change, so instead you need to change yourself.

Recently I met someone super nice. It nearly restored my faith in humanity and I thought that there were actually people in this world that cared about my existence without any ulterior motives... until I realized that they were attempting to manipulate me into becoming a financial recruit for some large company in San Francisco. I don't understand why it's so difficult for people to be kind just for the sake of being kind. I don't exactly like finding out about these things through a power point presentation in which my jaw is half open and I'm thinking F***MYLIFE that's what's going on?! This is precisely why it's so difficult for me to trust people. Just when I think I can perhaps begin to let loose I get tossed into a wood shredder. Moment of silence for my stupidity.

...and to lighten the mood.

Fantasy

My friend has this theory that being in America nothing gets done unless you yell at people and threaten to sue them. I've never really believed this to be true because I've gotten pretty good deals (internet/phone) by joking around with people and being pleasant in general. However, recently I tried my method and it didn't work because they ignored me and I got irritated, so I decided to use a different approach. I wrote out an angry script, practiced, and called to deliver my speech in which I told them that I wasn't going to send it back to them unless they pay for shipping and I also told them that they had to send me the correct product or give me a full refund. I think the key is to not give them a choice... The company decided to give me a full refund, said that I didn't have to return the incorrect product that they sent me, and they would send me the correct product for free. My friend might be on to something... I feel very accomplished because I got more than what I demanded, but at the same time I'm kind of in shock because I've never really spoken to anyone like this before. Who knew you could go so far in life by being a jerk. That's probably why there are so many rude people in our society. Positive reinforcement/appeasement for bad behavior.

Flicker

I was in such a bad mood last night that I watched Schindler's List. It probably doesn't make sense that when I'm in a bad mood I watch things that are depressing and sad because normal people would probably watch things that make them smile or laugh, but if I'm upset I need to drag myself down to the lowest point in order to get it out of my system. It's sort of like when the update pops up on your computer and you keep pressing "four hours later" until you have 37 updates in queue and your computer gets sick of your s--- and restarts by itself. Something like that.

Anyway, I've been reset. I'm back to normal. It's just that when you're put in a position where you need to tell people of higher status what to do it becomes a relentless battle of tug-of-war, but the problem is the fact that I don't want to pull, so I'm being dragged on the ground and scraped against rocks like a carcass tied to the back of a Jeep in the middle of the hot safari. Too much?

This is going to mean more if you've played Animal Crossing or know how the game works, but I seriously teared up like crazy. So touching~

Fossor

A while ago I had to go to Urban Dictionary to look up what "icing" meant (who knew such an idiotic game existed) and I came across the following, which I thought were both ridiculous and hilarious:

The words/phrases people come up with these days are so interesting. I also looked up spooning about a week ago and I still don't really understand it because theoretically you could do the same thing with a fork... but then I guess you would call that forking and that could potentially cause some problems. Knifing, bowling, cupping (sounds dirty), and plating don't really work either. Hmm, I never would have guessed that things like this were so well conceptualized. Ugh, FORK!! ...knife spatula... it needs to be December already.

Gall bladder was the funniest. :)

Fanal

Look who turned into an innovative hipster :)

I bet you guys didn't think I was capable of doing something like this, right? Next thing you know I'm going to be putting everything into glass jars. Actually, I wanted to buy replacement lamp shades, but they didn't sell them on Amazon or anywhere else for that matter, so I had to improvise. Also, those drinks are really good, so this gave me an excuse to buy a few. Win-win. The fact that I nearly chopped off my finger in the process will remain unmentioned.

Forecast

We all have it wrong. If you want to get married and have children you aren't supposed to find someone that you're madly in love with--just someone that you don't hate. I spent some time asking the experts (people that have been married for 20 years+) and that was the general consensus. Hollywood and the movie industry has made us believe that to have a successful marriage we have to find someone that sweeps us off our feet, but this is not the case. You're pretty much going to be talking about the children the majority of the time anyway, so just find someone that's considerate, kindhearted, and stable and you'll naturally come to love them for other reasons. Besides, Cinderella probably got a divorce after the movie because the prince picked up some other shoe, but they chose not to air it.

HOWEVER, if you do not want kids then the Hollywood stereotype semi-applies. Without children, the requirements for finding a marriage partner increase because you actually have to talk to one another. Personally, I don't think I can spend that much time with one person. No one is that interesting, I like to adventure, and I don't want kids. I have a lot of thoughts and not many people can keep up with my constantly running brain, but if by some miracle I find someone that I actually wouldn't mind being around for extended periods of time and they wanted kids, I would consider being a hormonal potato for nine months.

Fabaceous

You have to admit that it does kind of look like the real thing...

HAHA. I don't know how I missed this one, so cute. 我討厭你 by 宇宙人 is super catchy too (and quite fitting ahem). Actually, all of their stuff is good... but no one cares so I'm going to leave now.

Facinorous

I had to watch these little kids a while ago and I didn't know what to talk about, so I asked them if they liked watching Barney and Dora the Explorer because that's what my sister watched when she was younger (she's ~10 years younger). They didn't know what I was talking about and they told me that they like watching "Yogabagaba" which is actually spelled Yo Gabba Gabba (Google corrected my spelling because I'm uneducated). So yeah, apparently this is happening...

I'm not sure if I should be disturbed or amazed that they have a giant zucchini as one of the characters. Anyway, I was forced to watch an episode and it scared me. Interestingly enough, the primary focus of the child entertainment agency is no longer centered on colors and spelling. Instead, they are now teaching children to dance awkwardly and eat healthy foods. What this means is that our society is spiraling into an obesity pandemonium--if we weren't there already--and that children, instead of learning vocabulary, should focus on decreasing adipose tissue. I also need to decrease some adipose tissue before December or I'm never going to hear the end of it... I swear if I don't look like a malnourished twig they think I'm too fat.

Folivore

It's that time of the year when there are a bunch of seasonal lights going up outside. I think they're nice to look at, but ain't nobody got money to pay for electricity. My friend and I were driving around residential areas checking out houses and there was this one house that was completely decked out, "Woah look, they even have a flashing anatomical heart ornament! They must be surgeons." "Joanna... I'm pretty sure that's a snowflake..." Okay, my bad.

Burmese food tastes nearly identical to Thai food except for certain things like tea leaf salad (not pictured) where they literally mix flavored tea leaves into the salad. It was just alright... I like Thai food better. My friends and I have been hooked on this exotic food exploration yelp adventuring thing for a while. It's pretty fun, but my intestines aren't thrilled, that's for sure.

I'm trying very desperately to apply "out of sight, out of mind" to my life. There's no point in thinking about someone unless you're planning to talk to them. I wish I could speed up my emotional progression to the point in which I feel nothing--it's almost there.

I'm trying to a buy a stainless steel light switch and I came across this hilarious thing. I know, I'm like five, but you have to admit it's pretty funny. Whoever thought of this must have been a cleverly-perverted genius.

Figment

I guess people have been wondering what I've been up to these days, where I'm working and living, what I do in my spare time, who do I hang out with, etc. The answer to those questions is... I'm not going to reveal the majority of that online, but I will tell you guys that this happened a while ago...

That white wine is probably the only one that I'll ever like ...and yes, that is a picture of me shamelessly walking into a tasting room.

Frenzy

Running late, so I'll update when I get back tonight. Two articles to keep you guys entertained for now...

This just made me want to go to Alexander's Steak House... and this might be too cute, but you guys know how much I love those things, so... later!

Factual

The longer you don't think about someone the better they become in your memory because you haven't had to interact with them. Everyone is tolerable in small doses, but most people are better in the abstract. The reason why people hurt others is because they don't understand their pain. Most people don't intentionally inflict pain, but try to stay away from people that do--it's not healthy. There's a difference between giving up and knowing when to let go. The people that I've let go of... it's not that I don't like them because there are moments that still make me smile, but the amount of sadness they inflict is far greater than any happiness I've received, so there's no point. Instead, it's better to consider interactions with each of these individuals as an "era" because it's over already. There aren't that many people that I would consider timeless because there aren't that many people worth keeping around.

This is a good read. (at least read #16) I'm thinking about doing it soon... not for a whole year though, maybe just a couple of months. In the past I've always been able to connect better with people that are completely goal driven and desire prestige. Nowadays, I find that I'm drifting towards people that are open minded because they help me see things from different angles, which makes me a better person as a whole. After XYZ happened it altered my perspective and I realized that the things that I once thought were important/"the only way to success" are not that important after all and the definition of success itself is abstruse and transcendent. You can have a bunch of degrees and an account full of money, but then what? As humans we always want more. Prestige is not for yourself, it's to show off to other people. Would it matter if you received a M.D./Ph.D from Harvard if you had no one to tell? Stop rushing forward blindly and take a moment to think about what it is that you feel instead of focusing on what society expects us to become.

Femme fatale

If I could only choose one article of clothing to wear for the rest of my life I would choose to wear a blazer. Blazers can be worn casually and formally. If you were completely naked, but you had a blazer on people would probably just assume you were at a fancy tanning party or something. I wonder if that’s what people that wear naked aprons use to justify their attire. They probably think they’re chefs. (I don't think you guys understand what I had to sift through just to find that link) -_-

My biggest fear actualizing. Gross right? 

Fastidious

I was watching this drama that I thought was pretty good until it got annoying and the main character got locked in the freezer at her part-time job. I don't understand why this happens so often. At the rate these dramas are going they might as well start selling frozen humans next to the fish at the market. Also, the idiot girls never have reception inside the freezer, but I've actually tried this before and I had reception.. though I guess the real question is why did I lock myself in a freezer. Anyway, they should probably switch to Verizon... just saying.

I just thought these were funny so... take it or leave it, you have the right to disagree.

Freezing point

If I'm in a bad mood and it's sunny outside I get really irritated. I wonder if this makes sense to you guys. It's sort of like... if you're angry and someone tells you to smile you kind of want to punch them. Then again I kind of want to punch most people I meet, so I'm not sure how accurate this analogy is.

Montalvo hike :)

This type of sky would be perfect today, but my ideal is rain. I love rainy days. They make me happy as long as I don't have to go out because wet jeans are the worst.