Dejected

My friend bought me a light blue coat with a fur lined collar, which is really nice of her because I've been looking for a colored coat, but I look like a wall street banker or a millionaire's wife. When I wear it I feel as if I should be smoking a Cruella Deville pipe with long fake red nails on accompanied by a fake British accent--completely inappropriate for both work and class. It's kind of long and I'm not that tall, so the proportion is a bit off... that might be why. I'm not too sure what I should do with it. Maybe I should become a wall street banker or a millionaire's wife. I feel bad because it seems to be incredibly expensive. In hindsight it's my fault for not being two inches taller. I will try harder to find a proper occasion in which to wear this.

I actually went out today to buy some groceries despite the fact that I'm still swollen (I walked very slowly to avoid anything falling out of place). Unfortunately, I saw someone that I knew, so I quickly grabbed a package of toilet paper to hide myself only to receive odd stares from other shoppers. That may not have been the smartest course of action, but I did avert a crisis. Stealth mode.

I keep getting booty calls from some guy in Washington that thinks my name is Jose. By booty calls I mean calls about changing the windows in my house and re-tiling the floors. I usually don't respond to numbers I don't know, but this guy was so persistent and annoying (he left several voice messages) that I answered:
"Hi, I think you have the wrong number."
"Isn't this ##########?"
"Yes, but I do not own a house."
"Jose?"
"No..."
"Oh... Would you like to re-tile your floors?"
"...-_-"