NYE

I finally watched Brave which is highly uncharacteristic of me because I usually watch all Pixar movies in theaters, but I think what turned me off was the fact that the main characters had red hair. Honestly, gingers scare me. This might be a side effect/residual PTSD from my ginger roommate freshman year. Well, it was an okay movie, but it was atypical... it seemed more like a Dreamworks production mostly because Pixar movies usually have more finesse--not that Dreamworks doesn't, but I've only adored Shrek 2 and How to Train Your Dragon.

I wonder how many bottles of champagne will be opened and how many ridiculously large items will be dropped from tremendous heights at 12:00am. I wonder who started this tradition and why it's necessary--the dropping things, not the drinking. I'm pretty sure people have been getting drunk since the dawn of time.

All of my papers are going to look like this until around March. That's when I accept the fact that the year has changed. 

Almost over

I feel like all I've done over break is drive. I don't know how many trips I've made already, but this is getting rather ridiculous. I might as well put this on my resume and apply to be a chauffeur. When I got back I realized that I forgot to put a cup of tea that I brewed into the refrigerator. I looked at the cup and its contents were frozen. That's insane! I guess it shouldn't be too surprising as the temperature inside my house and outside are pretty similar. I looked more closely at the ice and there was mold-ish thing on it. What kind of crazy bacteria/fungi decides to grow on an ice cube?! I didn't think that psychrophilic bacteria actually existed. I mean, you assume these things only exist in textbooks or modified classroom labs. Maybe it was Listeria. To be honest I was really tempted to streak and culture it on a petri plate, but I would probably get yelled at for wasting resources... then again no one is working this week, so I'm sure no one would notice one extra petri plate in the cold room.

I love Christmas lights. They make me happy. Of course I would never put them up on my own house, but they're nice to look at--like heck I'm paying three times the electricity bill. My favorite are those swirly Christmas trees. I might cause an accident one of these days because I keep slowing down to stare at decorated houses. What I don't appreciate are those giant signs that say NOEL or JOY because 1. I think that having giant words takes away from the tranquil beauty of the lights and 2. Joy was the name of the TA that I hated the most and hope to never see again. Gosh, I complain about my TA's on here quite often. I hope they never find me and come after me with chainsaws.

Look at my drunk dog. I altered the sweater and put it on him (this took about 30 minutes), but he got confused and had some difficulties walking. Ignore my laughing throughout the video or better yet please mute the video. I was trying to hold it in, but it was too funny. :)

Dejected

My friend bought me a light blue coat with a fur lined collar, which is really nice of her because I've been looking for a colored coat, but I look like a wall street banker or a millionaire's wife. When I wear it I feel as if I should be smoking a Cruella Deville pipe with long fake red nails on accompanied by a fake British accent--completely inappropriate for both work and class. It's kind of long and I'm not that tall, so the proportion is a bit off... that might be why. I'm not too sure what I should do with it. Maybe I should become a wall street banker or a millionaire's wife. I feel bad because it seems to be incredibly expensive. In hindsight it's my fault for not being two inches taller. I will try harder to find a proper occasion in which to wear this.

I actually went out today to buy some groceries despite the fact that I'm still swollen (I walked very slowly to avoid anything falling out of place). Unfortunately, I saw someone that I knew, so I quickly grabbed a package of toilet paper to hide myself only to receive odd stares from other shoppers. That may not have been the smartest course of action, but I did avert a crisis. Stealth mode.

I keep getting booty calls from some guy in Washington that thinks my name is Jose. By booty calls I mean calls about changing the windows in my house and re-tiling the floors. I usually don't respond to numbers I don't know, but this guy was so persistent and annoying (he left several voice messages) that I answered:
"Hi, I think you have the wrong number."
"Isn't this ##########?"
"Yes, but I do not own a house."
"Jose?"
"No..."
"Oh... Would you like to re-tile your floors?"
"...-_-"

Nakedness

Every article of clothing I buy him is always big. I needed to see how much I had to alter and after struggling with him for 15 minutes I finally got him into this stupid sweater, but I couldn't get him out because he was tired from fighting me. What could I do except smile and take photos? 

Random video of my cousins playing with Soybean. He loves chasing after that white pig. I think it's hilarious and super cute because it's bigger than his head and sometimes he gets so excited that he flips his whole body over the pig. My friend said that I should start a Youtube channel for him and he could be the new Boo. I really don't think that would work as you can't exactly cut chihuahua hair any shorter than it already is. I could perhaps try one of those ridiculous buzz cut writing in hair types of things, but I'm afraid he'll develop Trichotillomania. Anyway, it's things like this that get me through this morbidly swollen day. 

Bitter melon

"Here, 2 tablets of Ibuprofen"
"........" sad face
"What? Do you need something stronger?"
"You just chopped me open like a vegetable..."
"Do you know what Vicodin is?"
"YESSSSSSSSSS and you have to at least give me 5:500mg"
"...You're not here for drugs right?"
"I can't stand being in pain."
"Okay then, avoid people that make you laugh or your stitches will fall out."

Success! I should have asked for 10:500mg. Stingy surgeon... only 20 pills and no refills.

I don't really think it's possible. Do you know how much I laugh? I can hardly look in the mirror and prevent myself from laughing, but I am in so much pain right now it's not even funny. I have been confined to my bed the whole day. I feel like a worthless piece of rotting flesh. I was only forced up when Soybean got hungry and started licking me as if I were filet mignon.

Terminal

Let's see... today I did the most Christmas-y thing I've ever done in my whole life. I made a gingerbread mansion with my cousins. No, I don't mean a gingerbread house. We collaborated and made a huge thing (even though at the end they got sick of it and I ended up finishing it while they played on their iPads). Honestly if you look at it it's a bit mature to be a typical gingerbread house. There's no crazy candy everywhere. We are boring--this could potentially be someone's house. Don't hate on the triangular hole on the left side. The sour patch kids were supposed to go there, but we couldn't find any.

Then we watched Home Alone while I attempted to get drunk on this tiny 50mL bottle of plum wine. It tasted horrendous, but for some reason I didn't break out in hives this time. I managed to finish it all! I'm so proud of myself. Blegh, gross... though it did take me four hours. Anyway, my reasoning behind this is because tomorrow is the day. I'm not sure if the procedure is more concerning or if the day my lab results come back is. Is it bad that I kind of want cancer? Then I can stop going to school and be like eff this I'm traveling the world  peace out. Ah, whatever.

Check this out. This video is really sweet. I cried tears of happiness, but I guess that's not saying much since I cry a lot in general.

Onions

I was trying to think about what I should be doing on Christmas Eve and suddenly it became Christmas, so I guess I failed. What do people do during Christmas Eve anyways? Is the feasting supposed to start on the 24th or the 25th? I get to start consuming antibacterial medication on the 25th! Joy to the freaking world. Haha, I'm sorry. In reality I'm not as grumpy about this as I seem like I am while complaining on here. It is what it is. Being upset that life is unjust won't change much, so... just go with it, you know?

Ah! I think that's what happens. People open presents on Christmas Eve right? Or is that Christmas morning? I don't know. Someone educate me please. Actually, I'm just going to go Google this after I finish this post. My presents to myself came today. :) I really need to stop buying shoes because I have nowhere to put them. I keep repeating myself, but I forget and buy them anyways. How can you resist this? Too sexy. When it comes time to put them away I look around and I'm always like, "Damn!" and then I have to rearrange all of the shoes in the closet and next to the door because boots and heels don't fit in the--no one cares, but anyone else have this problem? I'm sure I'm not the only one.

No matter how hard people try to design them, rain boots will always be ugly and highly unattractive. Maybe incredibly tall people can pull it off, but if you wear rain boots and you're 5'6'' or under you look like a midget (I say this because I'm 5'6''). I've never seen anyone wear rain boots and thought, "Wow, I have to buy those" because they're always ugly. Always. I know that this may perhaps be a practicality issue as people don't want their feet to get wet, but I mean... if you spend tons of money on Coach rain boots and think that you're the crap then yeah, perhaps you should invest in plastic surgery instead. Sorry, I'm being hostile again and it's Christmas. Merry Christmas!

Christmas card status right? Soybean burrito. Vegetarian ;) inspired by H. Dang. I got mad at him today, but he loves me despite my anger. How do you stay mad at something like that?! How frustrating!

Click

My hometown is no joke right  now. I've never seen flooding this intense since the typhoon in Taiwan that delayed my plane for six hours. I went to pick up some bread at Safeway and after I finally found parking and opened the door I stepped out into six inches of water. I think I understand why people wear boat shoes now. They're very useful as they dry within 15 minutes. It didn't really help that everyone left early this morning and took all of the umbrellas. The only umbrella left was this Pooh bear kids umbrella. Try using that in this madness. Imagine this, but more ridiculous. I might as well have been using those Martini umbrellas. My face was dry, but that's about it. The rest of my body looked like I had minions following me around with hoses all day. It was kind of embarrassing because I ran into people at random places today looking like some wet dog.

I'm surprised I didn't die on the freeway. I drove 60 mph the whole way... and you guys are well aware of how fast I usually drive... it was really dangerous though hence snail status. If you've driven through large puddles at high speed you know it feels like your car is going to flip over. Then a few hours after I got off the highway they closed it off because it was flooded. See? Could have died. Anyway, I made it, but... I did forget about the bridge fee and I payed with a bunch of coins and a few dollars like a homeless person buying cigarettes. I ended up short, but she let me pass anyway because I'm seductive. Not really, she probably just felt sorry for me.

Tasty

LOL. My aunt keeps stealing my dog when I'm not looking and scaring the crap out of me. I thought he might have ran into the bathroom and started to panic until I went to my aunt and saw her giggling and petting him. I should have known since he's a good dog and doesn't go anywhere without approval. He really likes her for some reason. Recently, I have this tendency to want to pet everything. This may be because I haven't had much human interaction. I was with my friend today and I almost pet her head until I realized what I was doing, laughed at myself, and pet her anyway. She didn't even respond because she said it's normal for me to do random things like that.

We went to this new tea place and got a giant green tea toast thing (I'm sure it has a more elegant name) because that's what you do when you get old: go around trying new cafes and drinking tea to be classy. It looks good right? It's impossible to finish this by yourself, so bring a friend. We couldn't even finish it. It's called Sweetea Cafe, or something with an equally cheesy tea pun, located in a remote area where from the outside looks like murders and body dumping occur, but the atmosphere inside is rather elegant and screams Beverly Hills $10 for a cup of tea the size of a shot glass (it's only $9.99, don't worry--just kidding it's decently priced). It's worth a visit if you're in the area.

Well, I'm heading back to school tomorrow, but I'm coming back down on Christmas. I was warned against driving on the 24th due to all of the drunkards. Valid reasoning. What a waste of gas, but you've got to do what you've got to do. Anyway, let's hang out before the 26th. That's when I'm getting sliced open. I figure after that I'll be on my death bed for at least a week. Darn. Happy holidays, right?

EOW

I got back a while ago. It's kind of warm here. I guess compared to school most places are.

So after I took a few x-rays I was sent to take some more CT scans. The guy didn't do it correctly the first time because he forgot to focus the thing, so he said he needed to retake it. That's just great. I'm full of radiation. Well I'm probably dying soon anyway, so let's hang out before that happens. I wanted to take a picture of my scans and post them because I thought they looked cool, but he wouldn't let me take a picture. :(

Life is pretty relaxing at the moment. I'm watching Ice Age right now because I can. Nothing much to say, as nothing eventful really happened today. Went out to eat lunch, went shopping, did some grocery shopping... and that's about it. I didn't sleep last night, so it's time for a juicy nap.

I wish

If I got a tree for my apartment would it make it more festive? I'm just trying to find ways to liven things up even though I feel like this right now. That makes me want to watch A Christmas Carol. I have to watch it at least once over break or else Christmas didn't happen. Actually, I don't like the animated Jim Carrey version because it's weird... he makes scrooge too... joke-y... I don't know it's hard to describe, but Jim Carrey has that quirky thing going on. Does anyone else feel this way? He ruined Series of Unfortunate Events for me too. I shouldn't have watched it because I read the book. That's one of my rules. Don't watch the movie if you read the book or it'll ruin your perception. Anyway, my favorite will always be the original low resolution animated version from Disney. Coming in second place would be the one with the ducks.

I was going to wait until the end of the world tomorrow to post, but since the world isn't going to end I'll just post now. You know, if you think about it logically people in China and Australia would have already been dead. It's always like this every year. Remember when it was going to be year 2000? People were hoarding batteries like crazy. I hope they feel stupid. I'm still bitter because I remember needing batteries for my alarm clock, but not being able to find any because people were hoarding. Ridiculous.

I'm heading back tomorrow for a dentist appointment though I just found out that this is temporary because I'm homeless. Sad life. Christmas alone. I guess I should be used to this by now. Oh wait, I'm not alone. I have Soybean this year. :)

Scratches

"You're very cute"
"What? Are you serious?"
"Yeah!"
"Or are you saying that because you're my grandma and you feel obligated."
"Hmm... good point, I never thought of it that way. Maybe you're right."

Thanks grandma. -_-

I don't really understand this music video because it's really random, but the song is kind of catchy. Maybe it's because of the mariachi band. Once in a while Train impresses me even though I was probably the only person that didn't like Hey, Soul Sister.

I feel like I keep repeating myself, but I don't understand why people keep disappointing me time and time again. I mean, is it difficult to respond to a text? Is it difficult to respond to an email? Is it so hard to type one sentence? What happens if you do? Will you convulse and die on the spot? Honestly, it's rude. It's not so much that I want to be responded to as it is that I would hope to be treated with respect. Too much to ask for, right? Why do I bother with people like this? I must either be stupid or out of my mind when there are plenty of other people that don't frustrate me. You know what? I tried. I really tried and though it may seem like my patience is limitless it has come to an end with you. Have a good day.

Babies

.........I am never ever going to have a child. I think the miracle of life is ridiculous. Something that large shouldn't come out of something that small, but that's not the primary reason. I am so exhausted. Puppies are exhausting. Also, I keep freaking out over little things. The other day he had this bump protruding out of his face and I got so scared I drove 46 miles to a vet open on Sunday afternoon and burst in like a crazy woman, "There's something on his face! I'm not sure what it is? Is it a cyst? Cancer?!" It wasn't there yesterday what do I do?!" and the vet responded, "That's... a pimple..." Pfft, well my bad. I didn't know dogs could get pimples. You learn something new everyday. He's also a picky eater. I don't know how he does it, but he's smart so he just knows. If I put anything with less than 50% chicken or beef in front of him he sniffs it and walks away. What a prince. Only eating expensive things. He's so popular. He's more popular than I am (though I guess I'm not very popular to begin with). If I take him anywhere I get approached by a multitude of gawking middle-aged ladies which is fine because I have nothing against middle aged ladies, but it makes it incredibly difficult to run errands and such.

You see that bear? Mr. Pink. Soybean hates him it's hilarious. He pounces on him and then whimpers and runs away because he's scared. Too cute. Oh, and yesterday he found out he had a tail and got excited. I thought about it as I was writing this post and maybe that's why people have kids--it's that you invest a lot of time and resources into raising them and they give you travesty and grief, but when they make you happy it negates the former. At least as a parent you would hope that this is the case. That's why animals are better. It always does. I've been really tired lately. I haven't slept much, but I think it's worth it.

Sorry, I didn't want to post so much about him, but he's kind of the center of my life right now. Regular posts drenched in sarcasm and witty humor shall resume shortly~

My Soybean

So... a series of fortunate/unfortunate events occurred (depends on how you look at it) and I now have the cutest thing on Earth living with me: Soybean.

He's so funny. He's completely OCD status--so much so that he crate trained himself in one day. I didn't do a thing. I walked into the kitchen after feeding him and his excrement was nice and tidy within a square that I set up beforehand, but had yet to introduce. Oh, and he fell asleep in my beanie during a car ride (left picture). I think it's common for puppies to get excited when it's time for food, but Soybean is on a whole other level. He elevates himself off of the floor with his front legs and his hind legs are in the air AS he's eating. I was too busy laughing hysterically, but I'll try to get a video next time. Do you guys know what Sherpa is? It's commonly used as a liner for the inside of jackets. I've learned that dogs like it. He chose my jacket over the blanket I gave him. Yeah okay, that's cool sleep in a $150 dollar jacket that needs to be dry cleaned... but he's so cute that I don't care. Ahh, I'm dying because he's so cute. And just for size comparison... he fits into half of the pocket on a sweatshirt.

Drug wars

I was driving a little before 12am and I saw a comet... at least I think it was a comet. I thought that I was delusional, but then I saw another one. Those were the first that I've ever seen in my life. When everyone was watching the meteor shower Freshman year I was timing myself in order to avoid walking in on my roommate again. But how exciting! My wish probably won't come true. I went home and read the news and found out that there's some sort of meteor shower thing tonight. Wishes don't count in that case right? Darn. I could use one.

I wish people were more like dogs. They're so innocent, nice, friendly, etc. They never have ulterior motives--they're just there to love you. It's true that they probably like you because you feed them, but if you try feeding a human it won't work out that way or else I would have fed my lousy TA's ages ago. If only it were that simple. I'm feeling hostile again... it's probably sleep depravity induced hostility.

It's the last day, but my brain has plateaued. I can't learn anymore. Instead I watched a 2 hour documentary on drug dealers, vacuumed my apartment, and am now reading up on how to haggle because we all know I'm a total pushover. I'll start studying eventually...

Juice

My face is going on strike. Four pimples have eroded and are trying to take over the world--only one of which can be hidden by my bangs. It's that time of the year when I go out dressed like a homeless person; sweatshirt hood up, jeans, puffy jacket, fake glasses. The other day when I was taking my final I sat down next to my friend and said hi. She seemed super confused, looked at me like I was some stranger, and ignored me. I thought she was just in the zone and ready to take the final until five minutes later she stares at me again, "...Joanna?! o_o." I don't think my homeless attire is tremendously different... though I tend to avoid mirrors to alleviate self-inflicted trauma, so who knows.

I taped a spider to my wall. It has been two months. It should be dead by now... right? You never know with those suckers. They're so good at playing dead. You think that you've exterminated them by turning on the faucet only to find that they're sitting in your sink making intricate webs that say, "kiss my a**" five minutes later. I'm not irrational, you know it's true. My friend tried to drown one with ammonia and bleach, but it was still alive. After experimenting she told me that the only thing that works is hairspray. Spiders are hairy... I guess it makes sense.

Sleepless nights. My tea stash is almost gone! How will I survive? :(

Normal?

Funny people of the day.

"You're embarrassing."
"What?"
"Aren't you embarrassed for yourself?"
"Yes...? You need to be more specific..."
"Your 'catchphrases': You missed me right? You love me, etc etc. are so embarrassing. Who says that kind of stuff? It's embarrassing. I'm embarrassed for you. Also, this is why people get the wrong idea..." continues to lecture me for 5 minutes
"HAHAHA! I like you."
"Were you even listening just now?!"
"Ohhhh, you love me, don't lie :)."
"-_- There's no hope for you."

It's true. I have no shame~

"NICOLEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
"Haha, hi Joanna"
"NICOLEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
"Lol what's wrong with you"
"Can you put this away for me?"
"Okay, sure."
"NICOLEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
"-_-"
"This one too please!"
"Get out of here Joanna."

I like Nicole. She puts up with me annoying her.

These are funny if you're procrastinating. The cat and the train .gif was the best in my opinion. It just started raining. :)

CVD

I don't know what day it is anymore.

Two days ago I was late to my midterm... by 20 minutes. Stupid stupid PCR always makes me lose track of time. I can't believe I managed to finish in time. I think it's because I had so much adrenaline that my hands moved very rapidly while filling in little bubbles. Whether I did well or not is a different story. We shall see.  My friends saw me run in like a mad woman, "Dude... the class is only 50 min long..." I think everyone kind of felt sorry for me. This girl offered to move in so that I could sit on the outside and my TA jogged towards me with an exam. Kind of shocking. She never approaches students. She typically treats us like feces. Sad life. At least I finished. -_-

Better post later. 

Must study.

Blah.

30 seconds

After not sleeping for such a long time I managed to go through my whole iTunes library. Isn't that crazy? Anyway, I came across this little gem. I completely forgot about this song, but after hearing it again it made me happy (his face also makes me happy), so I thought I would share and make some more people happy because happiness is so rare nowadays.

I really like washing dishes. I know it's kind of a weird thing to like, but after I moved my speaker into the kitchen my life has become so much more eventful. Stop for 30 seconds. Once in a while it's necessary to have a 30 second dance party. Drop everything and dance around like a crazy person for 30 seconds and then go back and resume whatever you were doing. If the song is too catchy you might have to extend it to a one minute dance party. It's ridiculous, but you'll laugh at how ridiculous you're being and get more done in the long run. Sometimes H and I call/Skype each other and do this for 30 seconds and then hang up because we're awesome.

To the moon

I'm gaining a pimple a day. 

Some maintenance guy came to change the heater filters yesterday and he asked me "Did you just move in?" after he saw my massive box pile left from my drums that I still haven't thrown away. So embarrassing. I need to deal with that one of these days. I haven't thrown out my broken mirror either. Given my current state it's kind of amazing that I have yet to run into it, cut myself, bleed profusely, and drown in a pool of my own blood. 

If you're charismatic and funny then people will like you, but they won't take you seriously. If you're serious all the time then people won't like you. So? What to do? To tell you the truth, I feel like the person I am while blogging is closer to the person that I truly am. The problem with talking/acting like this in person is that people will find you intolerable i.e. if you use "big words" people will think you're a know-it-all prick and choose to avoid you--though perhaps if your purpose is to drive people away this can be a viable method. 

"What's wrong with you?"

"What?"

"Why are you always smiling like a creep?"

"I can't smile?"

"It's like you have a disease where your face stays like that permanently..."

"...thanks?"

"It's not a compliment..."

SIGH~ 

HAHAHA oh gosh. It's good that I proofread. I don't know what I was thinking. I'm probably the only one that thinks this is funny. GC-MS is Gas Chromatography Mass Spectrometry not Gas Chamber-MS. Is this another subliminal message perpetuating similarities between my life and the Holocaust? Who knows, I haven't slept in a while, so anything is possible. Writing while delusional can be slightly entertaining. Cheerio!

Forever

It's always at times like these that I ask myself why I didn't just become a prostitute.

When I'm stressed I have a tendency to look at dog videos because dogs are probably the only things that have never frustrated me before (except for Stinky because it took us three days to find that idiot and convince him to go back to H's house, but he was never the brightest crayon in the box to begin with). If I could choose to annihilate all of the people on Earth and turn them into dogs, but would have to take care of all of them I would do it. Haha, this reminds me of someone I know. So cute. I like fish too, but they're hard to play with. I choose to believe that you bond with them through mutual staring.

The biggest spider I've ever encountered entered our lab yesterday. I pretty much climbed onto a table while the girl next to me killed it with her shoe. I am so lame I hate myself. It was really big though... :(

Festivities

I was going to turn one of my term papers in early because I have other things I need to do with my life, so I stapled it and handed it to the TA.

"What is this?"
"My term paper..."
"I want it bound"
"It's stapled?"
"No, I want it like... bound."
"What? It's not on the assignment requirements."
"I know, but it's more organized that way"
"...Can I just staple it two more times?"
"No."

Sorry, I don't know how to make it stop looping, but I want to cut her repeatedly, so perhaps this is appropriate. Do I look like a freaking Kinko's to you? How am I supposed to bind my paper, you stupid idiot--is what I wanted to say, but of course I just said "Oh..... Okay....." and walked away. 

Grilled corn

This happens every December. I was supposed to print out my term paper, but I was two pages off. I always run out of paper or ink at the most inconvenient times and then I get mad at myself for wasting all of that paper a few days ago or not printing double sided when I could have, but was too lazy. In all honestly, I don't know how to print double sided with my printer. It's too complicated. Whenever I feel like I can do it and think I have it all figured out it comes out either upside down or directly on top of the previous page, so I just gave up and accepted my fate as a tree killer. Does Safeway sell paper? I was considering using paper towels for a while. Yes, it's quite apparent I didn't sleep last night.

I know no one cares, but this is a really good paper. Only paper that tested ERB in human beta cells. It pretty much saved my life, just saying.

I need to meet someone amazing here that will restore my faith in humankind. It's not that I'm not trying! I know the names of all of the people in one of my classes and I talk to all of them. Isn't that intense? I'm a nice person I swear. Well, at least I think I'm a nice person, so I don't know how accurate that is. It's really sad going through life thinking that everyone is horrible, but the reality is most people are, so what else am I supposed to believe, you know? I just wish someone would prove me wrong. Maybe it's this city... I don't know. It's too early.

I was so cold that I put my arm on top of my heater (that I got on Black Friday for $50!) and burned myself. That wasn't particularly smart. Mondays.

10

I went insane and started cleaning everything again. It's always like this when I have a bunch of crap lined up to do. It's so dusty everywhere I feel like I'm going to die from upper respiratory tract dysfunction. I told this to my friend and she said, "Yeah, right... you're so OCD. If I go to your apartment and find one piece of dust I'll jump off a cliff." I'm not OCD.. maybe a little. I told her that too and she sent me this which was completely unnecessary, but you get the point.

SOMEONE CITED MY PAPER! I feel like such a "baller" right now. Is that right or is it "balla?" Regardless, I feel so cool right now. 8) It's about time... published that thing a year and a half ago, sheesh.

Bipolar weather. I like the rain. It complements the sultry piano playing atmosphere. I'm motivated, but clearly not for the right task. I wish I was more motivated to finish my term papers. Who's lousy idea was it to convey understanding through composition? I envy those caveman days where all they did was grunt and point. If I was a professor I would instead have my students perform an interpretive dance on cellular mechanisms which would then lead to a simultaneous decrease in obesity rates. It's completely win-win.

I don't know what's wrong with this week, but there have been so many police cars loitering around here that it's a bit concerning. Okay you caught me, it was due to my soliciting for statements in hot pink lingerie (I still need about 100). Seriously though, the lights and sirens woke me up at 4:00am which is pretty much when I slept. Then again someone whispering will wake me up, so I shouldn't be surprised.

It's Sparta

I had to do more laundry this morning. I prefer to do laundry when no one's around. You figure rainy Saturday morning at 5:00am... it was pretty deserted until I walked out from the laundry room to encounter a naked man walking into the jacuzzi. No, he wasn't half naked, he was naked naked. I mean, I see naked old men at the hospital all the time, but you don't really expect to see them right when you wake up. Well, that was pleasant.

"We're 30! What if 90% of our eggs are gone?! What if all that's left are the weird eggs, the evil eggs... I can feel them!" I love New Girl. I should ask my graduate student if her eggs are gone yet since she's in her 30's. We spend most of our time at work making fun of each other, but it goes by faster that way. Loving relationship, I know. It's so rare that you get to work with people that you like. :)

I'm on the phone with my friend right now and she's really mad at one of her housemates, but I can't stop smiling/laughing because when she's mad she reminds me of Michelle in Full House. Too cute. Hmm, what ever happened to Mary-Kate and Ashley? Last time I glanced at a magazine at Safeway they seemed to be intoxicated or getting arrested. As long as they're happy I guess.

You know that study I'm conducting? I procrastinated on data collection because I didn't think it would be this difficult. I don't even talk to 30 people let alone 300. If you're reading this and you haven't summarized life in one sentence for me then text/call/email please. Dang it, at this rate I'm going to have to stand outside with an umbrella and show some leg to get statements. Desperate times call for desperate measures.