Spare change

Day three of class and the teacher has already made a nickname for me. Like I said before, I hate being singled out so I never speak in class unless I'm frustrated. So there I am minding my own business while the teacher calls on random people to answer questions. After three or four attempts, no one can answer correctly. I try avoiding eye contact but that's kind of hard when you're sitting front and center. He calls on me and I answer. "Wow I think we have a superstar genius over here." Oh my goodness. Are you serious? I glare at him. My attempt to maintain a low profile has failed because now whenever there's silence or whenever people can't answer the question he turns to me, "Hey superstar genius what's the answer?" I'm so irritated. Not only is this embarrassing, it's really just not necessary. He's so ridiculous. I'm pretty sure more people would volunteer to answer questions if he didn't scream "No, no! You're wrong! Are you kidding me? My God!" after every time someone answers a question incorrectly. Bah. I'm angry.

Anyway, we were going over coin flipping in class and that got me wondering (because there's no use paying attention in class). Why do we call it 'heads or tails'? I mean the "heads" part is pretty obvious because well, it's a head. But why on Earth do you call the other side a tail? So I did some investigating and it turns out you call it tails because it signifies an obverse and reverse relationship. For example black and white. The head is the opposite of the tail, which is why you call it heads and tails (which sounds so much better and is much easier to say than heads or strange eagle thing grabbing some branch). As for why the back of the quarter doesn't just have a picture of a tail is another mystery within itself; however, I think it's because that would look pretty awkward -- that's just me though.

flip burgers & flex <3

Size zero?

When something is on sale and it's still $165 people with common sense would either 1. wait until it becomes cheaper or 2. not buy the item. Unfortunately I seem to be lacking in the common sense department. Once again someone needs to slap some sense into me before the Independence Day sales start.

So there have been several things that I've been curious about lately and I thought that you guys might be interested in these things as well. I figure I'll randomly post the answers I have found to the random questions that pop up in my mind. Today as I was online shopping (seriously, right? stop this madness) I was looking through the reviews on a pair of jeans that I wanted. There was an angry lady that said that she used to be a size four and that she could still fit into all of her clothes from ten years ago but when she buys jeans or pants now, she has to buy a size 00 or 0 (is this actually a size? I'll explain later). So after reading this review, it sparked my interest. Why the heck would they change the sizing and why are there size zeros because that never really made any sense to me (of course I was never anorexic enough to fit into zeros so I guess it didn't affect me directly).

The reason why sizing charts have changed is in part due to vanity sizing. Simply put, Americans are getting fatter (in fact, since the 1950's the average waistline has expanded by six inches). As people get fatter, they find it demeaning to wear size 12's and 14's so in order to satisfy the buyers' needs to feel good about themselves, stores are forced to shift down the pants sizes, hence the size zero is introduced (size zero is around a size 4 in the UK sizing chart). Back in the day, America's sizing charts were based off of EN13402 which is the standard United Kingdom sizing chart. But when the fast food restaurant revolution along with the hectic 9 to 5 schedule was adapted into Western culture, the inevitable result was a bunch of fat people (example #1 Joanna Lo).

People change with the times and although yes, it's true that people have gotten fatter, it doesn't necessarily mean that everyone is overweight (ahem, bust size has increased in the past few years... people have also gotten taller). In actuality, when combined with modern standards, a size zero for an average sized person is indicative of an eating disorder.

Oh and in case anyone was wondering, mens pants sizes haven't changed because guys have always used the military standard i.e. 32'', 32 long. Also guys aren't overly obsessive about clothes and appearance which eliminates vanity sizing... you know in most cases you can't even get them to throw out their old jeans with holes in them and buy another pair.

Anyway that was random. Just saying, again.

catch a falling star & sell it on ebay <3

Raindrops

Have you guys ever seen That's So Raven? The hit Disney channel television show about a psychic? Do you remember the teacher in the show? The one that spits all the time? Well my Statistics teacher is exactly like that he spits everywhere when he talks. Okay I may be exaggerating a little because it's not that bad, but the fact that I can feel the tiny droplets of spit on my arm is quite alarming. I'm considering switching seats tomorrow but I'm not too sure yet... maybe I'll wear my raincoat to class tomorrow.

Unfortunately, there's only one seat I can sit in: front and center. Mostly because this is a math class. For those of you that know me, you all understand my lack of interest in math. If I don't sit in front and center in a math class there is a 100% chance that I will fall asleep. Heck, even if I am sitting in the front there's still no guarantee that I'll be awake.

I just had an epic shower adventure so I thought I should share that with you guys. So I got naked and went into the shower (I know, I know, sorry for the horrific images). I turned on the water and stepped in. Then out of nowhere a spider the size of my left boob comes soaring from the top of the shower and attempts to escape from the water coming from the shower head. Once I see this spider I scream and knock over the six bottles of shampoo and conditioner lined up against the wall. My friend runs towards the bathroom...

"Are you okay? You sound like you're getting raped in there" she says

"There's a spider the size of Godzilla-- oh my freaking gosh" I reply and I grab the shower head and spray water at it until it goes down the drain.

I avoid the drain for the duration of my shower. I think spiders have a thing against me. It's probably because I like to torture spiders. But that's another story that I will consider posting in the near future. The spider comes out of the drain again and I scream for the second time. Once again my friend comes running (such a nice friend lol) "Is it back?!" I inspect the drain cautiously... Oh. My bad, this time it was just a wad of hair. Heh. My friend called me an idiot and left.

What? It was large and black and hairy. You would have screamed too, don't lie.

eat shaved ice & blend blueberries <3

Too early

Why do I do this to myself? Why? Why on Earth would I pick a class that starts at 7:30am when that happens to be the time in which I've been going to sleep as of late? Fail.

I'm so tempted to buy everything on Banana right now. Someone should stop me before I press checkout.

I'm not tired yet... I'm so screwed for tomorrow.

chase our love & sing like me <3

Bob

You know, I don't think it's so much that I don't care as it is that I've lost faith. I probably don't make much sense right now so let me explain.

I've been trying very hard this past year to be more optimistic and stop being such a negative person... and it worked... until people kept disappointing me time and time again. It started with the roommate and ended with, well it really hasn't ended yet, now has it?

As of now, there are so many things beckoning me, telling me to fix them. Before Freshman year happened I would be that person. I would be Bob the Builder. I would always be the one fixing whatever was broken until satisfied. I would take the initiative to change things for the better, nothing could stop me. Why? Because I believed. I've always believed that if you put enough effort into trying to do something, it can be done. Anything is possible (I still believe this by the way). But the thing is, I just don't really see the point anymore. I don't see why I go around caring so much when clearly no one else gives a rat's a--. It's not that it doesn't matter, because it does. It's just the simple concept of 'if you don't care then why should I?' And I think that's where my philosophy lies nowadays. I'm tired of doing this. My faith in people is diminishing. The small handful of people that haven't disappointed me shrinks as people change.

Update: I finally have two, now I just need the last four. I believe in you Jillian Michaels!

take Advil & burn prep books <3

Deception

I just woke up. Ha. I don't know what has been causing this fatigue lately, but I've just been so tired.

I didn't do much today. Just hung out with a homie, got money eaten by a machine, stole a table from Froyo, you know, the usual. The lady came chasing after us as we moved the table so we apologized and put it back. I wonder if she would have cared if we actually bought something (they get virtually no business). Well Froyo sucks and so do their tables. My camera ran out of battery so I was unable to document the day completely. What a shame.

Anyway what I wanted to talk about today is the fact that I think it's disturbing when people deceive themselves. I mean, yeah it's necessary to deceive yourself into thinking that you like Chemistry in order to get you through the year, but it's unnecessary to deceive yourself into thinking that you're a twig and go around wearing a bikini. I know I've said this before, but this has become increasingly disturbing. Some people just don't understand that they're slightly--slightly being the understatement of the year--larger than the norm. Then, when they look at themselves in the mirror, they suck their stomachs in and morph themselves in such a way that it makes them appear to look skinnier than they actually are. Because they are blinded by the illusion they create in their minds, they then go around wearing bikinis thinking that they're attractive, when in reality, the people around them are fainting not due to their beauty, but because of their cellulite. So please, if you're one of these people or if you know one of these people understand that while human society is glad that you are comfortable enough with your body to expose it to the general public, they would really appreciate it if you would take the initiative to get a six-pack first (either that or liposuction). Don't live in deception.

On a final note, sugar free Popsicles taste like crap.

work out & be healthy <3

Shakes peer

I don't really know if anyone has realized this, but Shakespeare uses the same names in almost every single one of his plays. If he doesn't use the same name then he changes it slightly. So it's very hard to remember that Claudio was the antagonist in "Much Ado About Nothing" and Claudius was the antagonist in "Hamlet." The only reason why I would bring this up is because I feel like reading all of Shakespeare's plays. He's actually really funny, which you wouldn't expect from some long gone dead guy. It's perverted humor, which makes it so much more funny. After reading perverted humor half of you all probably opened up a Shakespeare book for the first time just now. I kid.

But I've always assumed that the people that read Shakespeare (other than R&J because we had to read that in school) would be nerds have nothing better to do with their life. I guess I have become that nerd. I don't know why but I feel like anyone that reads Shakespeare is automatically a scholar. That's probably mostly because it takes quite a bit of effort to decipher his writing and understand that for nearly half of the novel he deems all of the women filthy whores.

Alright workout time.

freeze blueberries & make jello <3

Hoboville

Oh my goodness. I had so much fun today that it made up for my week of anti-social reclusive behavior. So I woke up in the morning and picked up my home girl and went to Berkeley to visit Hansol. Surprisingly enough, we didn't get lost on the way there. I always pass Berkeley but I've never actually taken the time to stop and take a closer look. Anyway the drive there wasn't too painful we ended up singing and dancing in the car. As usual there were people staring at us but whatever, what else is new?

The whole purpose of the trip was to watch Toy Story 3 but before we did that we went to eat pizza at this place called the Cheeseboard (heh heh) and we went to the Marina (no, not the Chinese supermarket, although it does have fish...). They served pizza with eggplant and romanito tomatoes. I didn't eat any but I was drooling like crazy in my mind. Jillian has me whipped, so I was eating a dry sandwich in a pizza parlor. Sigh. Today is diet day 11. 19 more days to go! Oh, and the marina was full of these beastly little critters that looked like squirrels minus the bushy tail. They were kind of interesting but I thought they were going to attack me.

Before the movie we had a bit of time to spare and as we were walking we saw this hurricane machine. It's like a plastic little contained room that blows wind up to 75mph which is the speed of a hurricane. Being the strange people we are, we paid 2 dollars (but we went in twice, so 4 dollars) to stand in a hurricane. I wonder what survivors in New Orleans have to say about that... That wind kind of hurt though. It made your hair whirl around so fast that it hurt when it hit the sides of your neck. After we were done being idiots we went to see the movie (in IMAX 3D, it was super clear HD status). Toy Story 3 was amazing. If you haven't seen Toy story 3 get thyself to the theater. No joke. I laughed so hard during most of the scenes in the movie that I cried and the ending was so touching that I almost cried. I was tearing up, not going to lie. This was probably the best Pixar movie ever made, and this is probably why my day is so complete right now (oh and also because in Toy Story 3, Bonnie had a Totoro doll that looked exactly like mine hehe)

We went to Rasputin's and played pinball. I know, random but that's how we roll. Stupid Hansol didn't put enough money into the parking meter and I had two minutes left to get to my car. "Why don't you run, it's your car" thanks guys, thanks. Such good friends I have. That pretty much ended the day because I wanted to beat the traffic back to San Jose.

Well it turned out that beating traffic is not likely between 4pm and 6pm. Never drive to San Jose from Berkeley during those hours. There was traffic along the whole way back and I got lost three times. Well I guess I didn't get lost the first time, it was just the fact that I had to merge into another lane but I couldn't because it was illegal and a policeman was there so I didn't want to risk it. Anyways we got back to San Jose in around an hour and a half, which is not too bad considering the fact that we were all moving as fast as Manuel Uribe running on a track (which is impossible because I highly doubt he can even stand).

Nevertheless. Today was a good day.

play ping pong & shave legs <3

Chirp chirp

Stupid birds. They kept chirping last night and I couldn't sleep. I've pretty much spent the whole day in delirium trying not to fall asleep or else I would mess up my sleeping schedule again. Anyway, I'm so tired that I'm about to fall asleep typing so I think I'm going to go to bed early today. Tomorrow should be fun. If I can manage to drag myself out of bed that is.

dream & hit wind chimes <3

Car solutions

So guess what? I did it! This morning I woke up at 9:00am and I ate, watched Detective Conan, and then immediately started on my project. Project: install audio receiver in car without spending $150 to get people to do it for me. So I started meddling with my car at around 10:00am and I got really frustrated because there were these two screws that really didn't want to come off. It took me an hour to get those two little screws off. Geez. I thought the rest of the installation process was going to be like that as well so after getting somewhat irritated I decided that I needed a break.

After the break I went back to it and the rest of the installation process wasn't too difficult. I actually thought that the wiring and whatnot would be the complicated part. It wasn't. It was actually very straightforward. Thank goodness. These guys were laughing at me the other day because they don't think girls can work with cars. Well... that proves it. Not every girl is a clueless idiot when it comes to cars. By the time I was done my clock said that it was 5:00pm. I was so exhausted, yet so satisfied. I felt accomplished. Actually, I feel accomplished. Overall, time well spent and $150 saved. Yes. Cheap Asian-mother mentality for the win!

roll up socks & fling underwear <3

Duff

One of my friends is really obsessed with Hilary Duff. I still don't understand what's so amazing about her... I mean typical teenage Disney star (much more respectable than Miley, of course) that was once a chubby young girl and after a personal trainer and probably some diet pills, tada!, skinny Hollywood stereotype. Don't get me wrong because I like her. I used to be so into Lizzie McGuire. But her and Gordo really weren't that great of a couple. Just saying.

Apparently Hilary Duff has a tattoo on the side of her foot that says "Let it be..." which is kind of the mantra that I've adapted after this year.

http://cdn.picapp.com/ftp/Images/c/4/8/4/Hilary_Duff_spends_6d03.jpg

Anyways, this was kind of random but I just remembered this fact and thought it applied to my life somehow.

It's that time of the month. Blimey.

eat celery & floss <3

Watch it

I've been getting awkward stares lately (I know, what else is new right?). But that's mostly because I refuse to take off my sunglasses while I'm inside and the collar of my jacket is always popped up. I'm pretty sure I look suspicious, but really, when do I not?

I spent 2 hours at Target today walking around and looking at all the things that I would need next year. Looking, not buying. I know I've been pretty anti-social and introvert-like this past week but it'll probably continue until I don't look like "the Grinch that stole Christmas" (say my cousins). Don't worry, I'm not green or anything.

Anyway, as I was meandering with sunglasses on and a popped collar this guy decides to start following me. I was in the electronics section debating upon whether or not I should buy Kingdom Hearts 328/2 days or not (ended up not buying it... I figure I would become addicted and then mess up my sleeping schedule again when I just fixed it) and the guy was standing right next to me. I didn't think much of it so I kept on walking down the aisles towards my right. I went from dual alarm clock/speaker systems to automotive, but out of the corner of my eye the guy was still there. I finally turned towards him and was about to glare at him when I noticed it was a store associate. Wow. He must have thought I was out to steal something because I looked so shady. So, I smiled at him (yep, that'll scare him away) and I went downstairs.

You guys know what I'm talking about right? When you can feel someone staring at you or following you? It's so uncomfortable. Shudder*

run & stab jello <3

Pretend

I've always wondered about birthday presents. What are you supposed to get someone that you're kind of close to but not really that close with? If you ask them what they want it feels like it defeats the purpose of a present. Of course the easy route to go in this case is to buy them a gift card so that they can buy whatever they want for themselves. However, I feel like getting people gift cards is another way of saying "Yo, happy birthday, (not like I care or anything) go buy some shi-"

But what's worse than gift cards are candles, journals, and picture frames. I've received so many of these useless things throughout my life I could probably start a forest fire in Yosemite. Of course I wouldn't because I don't want Smokey the bear all up in my business, but you know what I mean. Usually the people that give you candles etc. are the older folk that think that you really have the time to scribble in a journal to express your thoughts on a daily basis. Little do they know, writing is outdated.

Gift cards are an easy way of saying "I don't care" but candles, journals, and picture frames say "just go f- yourself." Think about this next time you're about to give someone a gift. (I'm kidding, gift cards are fine as long as you know what store they like)

use ice packs & deliver mail <3

#1

Please take out a number 2 pencil and fill in the circle/bubble completely.

How many times have we heard this line? From S.T.A.R. testing in Elementary school to Biology tests Freshman year to SAT I's and SAT II's Junior year and the battle continues as we're forced to buy $0.15 cent scantron forms that have the school seal on them. I really don't like using pencils, but I hate using number 2 pencils even more. Why? Well, first of all if you're using a number two pencil it must mean that you're taking some sort of test. Secondly, those yellow wooden writing implements seem so primitive, what with the new pencils that dispense lead automatically and whatnot.

Anyway, these number two pencils got me thinking, why is it called a number 2 pencil? And what ever happened to the number one pencil? So of course I did a bit of "research" (more like Google surfing) and it turns out that a number one pencil does indeed exist. Number one pencils were primarily used for keeping score when bowling back in the day. Now everything is computerized. The only reason why anyone would use a number one pencil nowadays is to draw. So if you ever want to see a number one pencil, you better make friends with an artist.

First the worst, second the best? (and third's the one with a hairy chest, in case you were wondering)

shave & sunbathe <3

Red

I'm alive but it won't stop bleeding so I don't know what I'm supposed to do.

Sorry for the uninteresting blogs as of late, I'll go back to things you guys actually care about tomorrow.

be smart & go fishing <3

Kowaii

I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared.

What if I die?! Freak. I'm scared. Usually when I'm scared I laugh it off or joke around so that the people around me won't be concerned. But this is... I can't laugh this off because I'm scared. I'm so scared. Freak. What if I die?!

If I don't update tomorrow you'll know something bad must have happened. At the very least I'll tell you all if I'm alive or not. (yes, I'm finally getting liposuction; I know, it's about time right?) Augh. How can I joke at a time like this? I'm going to die, wow.

2:00pm.

don't die & eat jello <3>

Weakling

Where does the day go? I can't believe it's already 6:00pm. I don't understand why I feel like I'm busier when school isn't in session. This doesn't make much sense. Sorry guys, no epic post today. I'm quite tired. Jillian's workout is pretty intense, I could barely walk today... and yet the torture must continue (there's a "break" scheduled for day 3).

Bah it's tomorrow.

Laugh & braid seaweed <3

Sahara

Day one of Jillian Michael's 30 day diet:

I know why they call it that now... die - it. I'm so hungry... sigh. Must resist... temptation. Must look like Jillian. Actually, I've always thought that Jillian kind of looked like a man. I'm not too sure if it's due to her facial structure or if it's her crazy ripped muscles. Not to mention her voice is pretty low. Have you guys ever noticed that most body builders have low voices? It's not because most body builders are men, because there are women body builders too. Maybe increasing muscle mass has something to do with acquiring a lower voice.

What has been up with the weather lately? My goodness. This weather makes me want to go to the library (for the free air conditioning of course). But if I go to the library there will probably be a bunch of Asian families congregating around the air conditioning vents. And there will be kids. Many, many kids. Squealing at Barney's new pop-up book or Dora's coloring adventure. Shudder.

eat an almond & buy rings <3

Summer cleaning

Hmm. I usually like to keep myself busy so that I don't feel like I'm wasting my life away but the thing is I've run out of things to do. I even washed my bike. The sad thing is I'm more sore now than how I would feel at the gym back at school. I swear this excessive cleaning and organizing is actually pretty tiring.

Actually, yesterday as I was trying to vacuum the back portion of my trunk I nearly had to climb inside and when I was almost finished, the trunk decides to fall down. That hurt though... I now have an oddly shaped bruise on my back.

I guess the good part of having nothing to do is the fact that I can now respond to emails :)

wear nothing & barbecue <3

Lost not found

Recently someone asked me a question that really got me thinking (I know, I think too much). After we played pool we went walking around the third floor. She asked me, "Do you think you'll ever be happy?" Of course I was puzzled because I think I'm relatively happy. Okay never mind, I'm hardly ever happy, I just pretend to be because it makes life easier. Anyway, back to the question. I didn't know how to answer her because I wonder myself... will I ever be happy? It just seems like my life has been going in a downhill unhappy trend since middle school.

I guess the best answer for that is, I sure hope so. I think I deserve to be happy. I think everyone deserves to be happy (except for mean people, mean people make other people sad so they can just be angry and lonely for life).

How do you go about finding happiness? Everyone always says money can't buy you happiness. That's not necessarily true because money can buy you temporary happiness. I suppose that's one type of happiness, but where can you find the real happiness? In friends? In relationships? In music? I guess it's time to start looking.

I hope you find yours.

bang on the drums & blink <3

Do it already

Damn it. I hate this. They keep postponing the surgery because it's too "complicated" well if you don't take care of it right now it's just going to get more complicated. I'm so annoyed. Can't they just cut out whatever the freak it is and leave it at that? So, fine. The final date is set for next Tuesday. Heck, it better be or someone is going to get hurt. Must they prolong my death? Just do it already, damn. What's worse is my stupid insurance company refuses to cover all of it-- 60% they say. If I'm lucky maybe I'll find $2113 lying on the ground when I go running tomorrow. I'm so frustrated, wow. I wonder if I can save money by choosing to be awake the whole time. Then I don't have to pay the anesthesiologist (I'm so cheap... but really I would rather buy clothes with that money). Okay, okay I need to calm down. Calming down. Deep breaths.

My aunt is hilarious. She doesn't even try and she's naturally funny. Today she was talking to me about all of the stuff that I brought back from school and she said,

"You put all of your junk in the room, there's hardly anywhere to walk!"

Of course I apologized because... well... it's a pretty significantly large amount of crap piled up everywhere and anywhere. Then she said,

"You think I'm fat!"

"What?? No! Why?" I asked.

"You made an obstacle course for me so that I would lose weight!"

My response: "-_- aiiyah." and then I offered to wash her car tomorrow morning after I wash mine. Man, it's so dirty. It's time to clean my baby. Wash and wax. New audio receiver, new seat covers, new license plate frame, new decal, and new car cover. It'll be quite revolutionary next time you guys see it. I kind of want to change the lights and tint it too but I don't have an extra $1500 sitting around.

sleep without setting the alarm & bake cookies <3

Meh

Blah. I have a headache.

Surgery today..

meh <3

The end

Oh man, I've really been living the life the last week and a half. I think out of this whole year this last week and a half has been the best. Mostly because I've had the room to myself without any... disturbances. It's nice that all of this ends on a good note :)

Anyway, today is the last day of school so here is the epic end of school blog as promised. My topic? Of course I'll be talking about everything that I learned throughout the year and how it will help me become a better person in the future. That is... unless you guys just want to hear all of the juicy gossip that happened throughout the year that I've been withholding because I had to live with these fools. Maybe a combination of both? We'll see where the wind takes me.

I think the most important life lesson that I've learned this year is the fact that there are different people on the planet. Okay, I'm not stupid. Obviously we all know that there are different people on Earth. It's just that fact that you don't usually have to interact with them because you don't have to live in their vicinity. Living with people that you don't particularly fancy can bring about problems. Several problems. Including the slamming of doors at ridiculously early hours, vomit chunks on the toilet seat, and of course people being rude, inconsiderate and impossible in general.

I think I've learned how to deal with all of these different types of people in the proper way. You see, there are two types of relationships: shallow and deep. Of course, what you hope for is for the deep relationship in which you're able to exchange feelings (good or bad) and develop a lifelong friendship. Trust me, you'll know when you've found one. The shallow relationship is the "Hey, how are you? Okay, bye" type of relationship. This exchange of conversation is present when you don't particularly care about the person. The relationship is limited to "hi" and "bye." There are some people that you have to deal with in this manner. Why? Well, because they're impossible. The best way to deal with impossible people (or people you don't like) is to keep conversation at a minimum while still being polite. That way, you won't make them angry and they won't stress you out. Another reason why you would be in this type of relationship is if you and that person just don't get along, which means that it is difficult for you guys to speak with each other without it being strange. It's not really a problem, it's just what happens naturally. What I've learned is that you need to find out who you should establish a deep relationship with and who you should keep at a shallow relationship. If you haven't found this out, things can become complicated.

I've learned the real definition of a friend. A friend isn't someone you have to be careful around. You can be your true self around them and they'll accept you for who you are. If you have friends that are willing to do that, then great. However, if you find yourself always self-cautious around your friends, being careful not to say the wrong thing in case they reject you for who you truly are, then the people that you call your friends aren't really your friends. I always like to say: the people that care don't matter, and the people that matter don't care. If you have to hide or alter your personality then you're not being true to yourself, right? Then if you're not yourself, your "friend" thinks you're someone else and they'll become upset when they realize that who you try to be is not who you actually are. Was that confusing? I hope I didn't lose anyone in the process of my explanation. In essence, what I mean is be yourself and you'll eventually find friends that love you for you. If not, then you must be extremely unlucky or you must really suck as a person, if that's the case then you might want to think about becoming more likable (just a friendly tip, don't kill me).

I've learned that it's a waste of time to try to fix things that don't want to be fixed. In the past, I've always searched for a solution. I was stubborn because I thought that there was a solution to everything. And in the past, I would eventually find that solution. But, I was wrong. Not everything has a solution because some situations and instances are more complex than that. There might not be an answer to everything, but in the end that's okay because there doesn't need to be an answer for everything. Which brings me to the next thing I've learned.

I've learned how to let go. Because once you've exhausted your efforts trying to desperately find that solution, and it's still not happening for you, it's time to forget about it. I'm not saying that it's bad to care, what I'm saying is that it's bad to care too much about something that won't really benefit you in the long run. In fact, it's dangerous to care too much about anything. You'll definitely end up getting hurt. For example, with grades. You put all your efforts towards getting that A. What happens when you get an A-? I would be devastated and unable to function. It's kind of the same thing (except grades will benefit you in the long run, so care about them and don't fail your classes please). For all things that don't matter, don't dwell on them... just let them go.

And so, I think I have changed from the beginning of the year. I've become less of a marshmallow: hence, less of a pushover. I realize that people that don't care will take advantage of you if you give them the chance to do so. In that case, you can never let them have that opportunity. That doesn't mean that you have to be rude to people that you don't like, it just means that if you want (or don't want) something done, vocalize it. Let them know what's bothering you, and give them suggestions upon how to fix it. If there are further disagreements between the two of you, say what you need to say, smile, and then walk away. Don't provoke them. It's okay to be the bigger person. Why? Because it's easier to be the child that glares, yells, or gets into fits of anger. So take on the more difficult task. Be the adult.

So I guess it turns out that there really isn't any juicy gossip in this last post. Sorry if you guys stuck around for that. But I have to be the adult. For the most part, everything that happened this year was unfortunate (well, not everything... I met a couple of pretty cool people that I can actually call friends) but in the long run, I think that this experience will benefit me in the future.

And that's the end. What Freshman year?

have a great summer & see you all around <3

LeBron

These guys were watching the game while eating in the dining commons the other day. It was kind of nice seeing people so worked up over a game. I haven't seen that in a while. I think I would want Boston to win just because I really don't like the Lakers, more specifically Kobe. Back when they played the Kings Kobe was such a jerk. I'm sure he's grown up and whatnot; however, I still feel that "I'm too good for everyone" vibe from him. LeBron and Anthony are definitely the best players ever. Okay, maybe Dwayne too. Come on, Kobe thinks that he doesn't have enough people on the team to help get him the ball, well look at LeBron. He's not even complaining as he makes pretty much every point in the game and plays every position on the court. That's a true player right there. I'm not really sure there was a point to that... I usually have a point to my posts. Maybe the moral this time is to not be a whiny little baby and suck it up. Yeah we'll just leave it at that.

Native Americans are officially dead to me. Hallelujah.

One more thing. Did anyone else notice that everyone got fat or fatter (for the most part)? Freshman 15 is supposed to be a myth...

Once again while I should be studying for math I'm blogging and watching Ice Age 3. Go me!

steal cookies & write checks <3

8 minutes

I don't think I've failed at life this badly since... well since ever. Which is just sad. This kind of stuff is once again the stuff that you've only dreamed about in your nightmares or what you see on television shows and movies. I went to the wrong classroom for my Chemistry final yesterday. Let me start from the beginning.

So I thought my Chemistry final was in Chem 194 because all of the previous midterms were there and when I glanced at the email it said Chem 194. So I was good to go. Calculator in my backpack and equations in my brain. The final was at 3:30 pm so I decided to leave at around 3:00 pm, just in case. When I arrived at the Chem 194 building and checked my phone it was 3:16 pm. I sat down and waited for the test to begin. Noticing that there were no familiar faces in my vicinity I decided to look around. The girl in front of me had a calculator out and she seemed like she was working on a titration problem. I thought everything was fine until I looked towards my right and another girl had a practice final on her desk that said: Chemistry 2c final exam. And that's when I started panicking.

I grabbed my backpack, hat, and sunglasses and rushed out the door in a frenzy. Just to make sure, I approached a girl walking into Chem 194, "Hey you're taking the Chem 2c final right?" she nodded and continued walking. My heart was beating so fast I hardly knew what to do next. 3:17 pm. I rushed towards the Chemistry Annex building knowing that they have internet and computers there (not to mention it's the closest building to Chem 194). I pull on the handle bars as I open the door -- locked. I'm about ready to faint and start crying as I'm formulating other ideas. I don't know what I was thinking but I went into Outdoor Adventures to see if they had a computer I could use. Obviously they didn't, they only had canoes. A big lot of help that was. Fail. I realized that the only place I could go with internet was the library.

I ran to my bike and fumbled with both locks. After the locks were off, I jumped on my bike and pedaled like a mad woman towards the library. I locked my bike and threw it on the ground as I searched for computers. I ran to the information desk and there was a girl in a pink shirt standing there. "Hey, do you guys have a computer I can use?" "Yeah" she said lifelessly. Well how useless, that tells me nothing. "Where are they?" "Over there" she responds as she slowly lifts up her grubby fingers and points at the computer lab. She wasted a minute of my life. I ran over to the computers and began pressing the space button to get it out of hibernation mode. I look down at the keyboard: Out of order. Scratch that-- I run to the next available computer and I'm able to successfully go online to check that email again. I open up the email and read it carefully. The heading says "the final will not be taken in Chem 194." How did I miss that? Whatever, no time no time. I look further down the email and it lists the TA's and what room each section is supposed to take the final in. My TA's name wasn't there. I started panicking some more until I see the attachment at the bottom of the email. I open up the attachment and low and behold-- "Sorry we forgot to mention Chris's section, students in Chris's section will take the final in Social Sciences 1100." 3:21 pm.

I dart out the door repeating "Frick, frick, frick" leaving the computer on. I don't have time. I'm pretty sure I almost ran over this guy as I was running towards the door. People were jumping out of my way as I ran past them. I get on my bike and pedal so fast I could probably fly away like that ugly wrinkly alien in E.T. I nearly kill a child on a tricycle because he was blocking the road and in my way (but out of the kindness of my heart I didn't); finally, I'm there. I lock my bike, run into Social Sciences and sit down in the very first seat. I look around, thank God, familiar faces. Out of breath and exhausted, I check my phone. I feel as if my heart is about to fall out. 3:24pm. I made it and with six minutes to spare.

I think that was probably the most intense moment of my life. I was shaking from adrenaline. Luckily, I had time to cool down before the final started. Can you believe all of that happened in 8 minutes? I'm going to get a heart attack here. Goodness gracious. Other than the pre-final panic attack, the final went well. At least I think it did. Now that the most important one is over with I feel like everything is done. It's a nice sort of feeling. However, I should still study.

One down three to go. iVamos!

eat yogurt & steal pretzels <3

Those times

Hello world. Today I'm going to do something a bit different. Because school is ending I thought I should share the most memorable quotes from the year. Courtesy of my suite mates. Actually that's not entirely true... I only started recording these around the middle of spring quarter. But if I had started when Nancy were here this post would probably go on forever.

"I feel like I'm losing my throat!!!"

"I always go to class sometimes!"

One of my suite mates drenches her salad in ranch dressing and when I asked her why she puts so much ranch she responded, "Because if I don't it tastes too much like plants"

I asked the same girl if she had heard "Ride" the new song by Ciara and she asked, "What? Like... I want to ride you?"

We were trying to figure out who sang "Everything" and I failed by guessing all of the black boy bands. Then we figured it out. "It's 98 degrees!" one of my suite mates immediately turns around "OH MY GOD it is?!"

"Err body in the tub get tipsy"

"You know that one show? Cooking in hell??"

We were talking about how the soda, Squirt, supposedly shrinks a male's wee wee. Out of curiosity I asked, "Hmm I wonder if vagina's are shrinkable?" my suite mate immediately answered, "Well... yeah, they expand right?"

When my suite mate asked me what I did at the gym I told her that I went running. "Oh my god, you do it on the trailer right?" (treadmill)

"I think my fries just had rice" (I have no idea what she meant when she said this I just remember we were laughing for quite a while).

Anyway, there's some laughter before your final exams. Good luck everyone! :)

Ace that shizz & celebrate after (I'm going to celebrate by eating Subway after chem... whoo...) <3

Bruised heart

Oh the injustices of the world. I was deprived of seven points on my Chemistry midterm because the TA grading my exam apparently did not know how to add. Good job, you idiot. Yesterday, I went to argue for my seven points but they ended up only giving me half of what I deserved. I don't understand why it's such a big deal to just give me my seven points. I earned them didn't I? It's really not my fault that they don't know how to implement the basic skills of addition, so why should I be penalized for it? At least that's what I wanted to tell the head TA. You all know how I am... I took it like a beezy. Maybe subconsciously I like being abused. You know some guys like being abused? At least I think they do, otherwise why would they stay with girls that treat them like dogs... Just a random thought.

Anyway, my TA didn't show up for Chemistry discussion yesterday so we all showed up at 8am for no reason. I would have been more upset but I was already up since I woke up at 4:30am to watch the game. Poor Elena. She was crying as she was walking off the court. She really had a chance this time too, but I'm glad that she's smart enough to know when to stop. Guess she's just going to have to go for Wimbledon. I got sidetracked. What was I going to tell you guys? Oh, right. My failure.

I ran into a bike rack. I know you might think that I ran into the bike rack as I was biking, but I didn't. That would have at least been mildly cool. This was just ridiculous and lame. I was walking along, minding my own business and trying to find my bike amongst the ten thousand billion bikes that are here and I tried to squeeze in sideways between the tree and a bike rack but I ended up whacking the left side of my thigh on the rack. It was pretty bad. I pulled a Peter from family guy and I stood there grabbing my thigh... "ssss ahhh, ssss ahhh" (you would get it if you watched family guy). I'm sure I looked like even more of an idiot as I tried to hide my pain. Now I have an enormous fist-sized bruise in the shape of a whale (at least I think it looks like a whale, other people disagree, very fitting though don't you think?). Why am I so prone to accidents here? Oh well it's all good, I should be used to this, it's not like that's the only thing that's bruised right now.

The weather forecast said that it was going to rain today. If the clouds know what's good for them, it better not.

dry your hair & open the window <3

Grandma me

I hate getting spam. Especially on my gmail account. Gmail is supposed to have a spam filter so they pick up the majority of the spam that comes in. You know that's true when you see 2273 emails in your spam inbox. I should probably clear that. Anyway, because I trust that gmail will filter all of the spam I assume that all mail in my mailbox is important (minus the Facebook notifications of course). So I see an email addressed to me labeled: "Congratulations! Reward!" which should seem suspicious within itself because neither have I won anything in my life nor will I ever win anything in the duration of my lifetime; however, being the idiot I am I click on it and it tells me that someone has sent me a $500 dollars worth of clothing at some website. Obviously I'm not that gullible and of course I knew it was fake, but I thought why not, humor me. So I clicked on the link to the website and it took me to this:

http://www.blenderclothing.com/design.php?design=3034

Apparently I look like a grandma to them. And of course that thing would be on sale for $12.00. The funny thing is the fact that it's sold out. Weird...

Anyway, I'm sitting here in my bra so I should probably go put something on before someone walks in and becomes blind for life. Last day of classes!

cut up lace & wear stockings (no, I'm kidding please don't) <3

Negative spending

I'm very lucky this week. I must have done something right to be having everything go my way for once. Or maybe it's just the fact that nothing ever goes my way so it's about time. I get the room to myself for the remainder of the week. Needless to say, I'm extremely happy. I was thinking about next fall and how I'll also have the room to myself so I went on a poster hunt and bought 50 dollars worth of posters. Then today they sent me a free shipping code so being the idiot I am I spent another 20 dollars worth of posters. I'm wasting my life away, but it's all good because I'm happy. It's a happy online shopping instead of the usual stressed shopping.

Stupid stupid Native Americans. I'm so through! This is the last time I'm going to complain about them because I'm so frustrated by my TA if I talk about it anymore I really might end up killing him and I don't want to resort to that because then I'll go to jail and get beat up by a gangster or forced to fish feces out of a toilet while concocting an escape plan like in Prison Break but then get caught and spend the rest of my life in solitary confinement like Hannibal Lector. But seriously, on my paper he wrote "Well done!" and yet he took another random two points off without explaining himself. What is wrong with this fool?! I'm so angry. Okay, I need to breathe. Breathe!

Oh and one more thing to add. As I was lying on my bed like a dead carcass playing with my iPod, I dropped my iPod and it fell on my face. Now I have a beautiful bruise between my chin and my lip. Good thing I'm so dark no one can see it. Once again, Joanna Lo breaking the norm, performing impossible stupid stunts. I wonder if I can get payed for being myself. People pay to see stupid things all the time. Example #1: Miley Cyrus. Example #2: The Jonas Brothers. Example #3: Your mom. Need I go on? (I thought the your mom joke was appropriate here... oh come on, I haven't pulled one of those in a while)

Back to my happy place. :)

drink lemonade & lay on your bed <3

In or out

I kid, I thought Elena had made it to semifinals but the match this morning was a quarterfinals match against Nadia Petrova, a beastly rude woman. She's very manly-looking. I was having a heart attack. I couldn't even do Chemistry at the same time because the first set she lost 2-6 but then proceeded to win the game 6-2 6-0: bagel status. It was amazing. It was so worth me getting up at 6am. Regardless, Elena Dementieva is now a semifinalist so I'm probably going to be sleep deprived later on in the week as well. Hopefully Federer beats Soderling before I go to class, I'll allow him another two hours.

You know, the good thing about clay court is the fact that people can't lie about whether the ball was in or out. When the ball hits the clay court, it leaves a mark and line judges can go up to the mark to see where the ball landed. If only this could happen in real life too. Maybe if someone were lying you could see a giant flashing light above their heads. I mean, we wouldn't have to pay for electricity anymore that's for sure.

Man, what a great way to start off the day.

stare at the sky & let go of things that don't matter <3