Gyro

After having so much free time (and TVs) I've come to realize that I don't have much patience for television. Nobody has time for commercials. I think that the ones on Hulu are annoying enough even though none of them are relevant to me (it's nice that they continue to ask). I can only sit down and watch the news, variety shows, and music channels. I guess it doesn't matter that much because I'm not home very often. I've also come to realize that I don't like America that much. The reason why Americans are so fat is because they drive everywhere, but at the same time if you can't drive in America you might as well be in prison because you can't go anywhere. The paradox of obesity.

Flashback to this little guy. :)

Game face

Mandatory artsy beach photo. The real vacation starts in one day. My face is covered in mosquito bites due to being forced to socialize. :(

Glitter

Does anyone need a fire hydrat? It's strange because they spelled it correctly in the smaller font below it. I was forced onto a ferris wheel yesterday and it was incredibly frightening. I felt really dizzy and I forced everyone to stay still. I stopped my friend from scratching his leg to prevent the shaking. I don't know how I'm ever going to accomplish my goal of riding a hot air balloon.

Temporary dog. Isn't he a cute one?

Goose egg

Only here will you find duck shaped food items. 

Ground up

Here's a preview.

Love river, which really isn't as romantic as it sounds because it smells like sewage. People used to dump all of their sewage here, so it used to be deserted until they cleaned it up, but it still smells regardless. Anyway, I've been wanting to go here during the night time to see the lights and ride on the ferry because yes, I'm still obsessed with ferries even though I'll probably be vomiting the whole time. I'm planning on going with my friend in a few days.

You know what else isn't romantic?

Merry Christmas from far away :) One more week and the real vacation begins.

Grinch life

Ah, Christmas...

Grotesque

If you have a higher standard of living it will correspond to your success in life. If you like expensive things chances are you’re going to work harder in order to buy your caviar, but if that doesn't work out you’re probably going to end up being a gold digging, baby making housewife. I’m still not sure if eating expensive food is justified. If you observe naked reality and ignore nutrient content, everything we eat looks the same after a day or two. Don’t try to prove me wrong by eating a whole box of tangerines because you’re going to regret it and end up on a Pepto-Bismol commercial. 

I've always wondered whether or not the people in those types of commercials feel embarrassed. They're always smiling and claiming that they have diarrhea or some type of STD. If they walked into a party and tried to meet people it would probably go down like this...

"Hi my name is X"
"Oh hey! I know you! I was watching New Girl on Hulu the other day and you showed up in a couple of ads!"
"Oh..."
"Sorry to hear about your diarrhea, are you feeling better? Also, how's your chlamydia? You know you should really wear a condom... "
"..."

Germinate

It's not that I have anything against Asos because I'm completely in love with their clothing, but I just think that if you're a model and you're trying to sell an outfit it's really unnecessary to pose like this. I get that they're young and sexy and yes, they do make the clothes look more attractive, but realistically no one has the energy to walk around with one arm raised above their head all day. Also, don't get the wrong idea, I'm not looking for sequined fox sweaters. That thing is no joke though, I can't believe it's $542.84. I wonder how much people would pay to wear a sweater with my face on it... it's guaranteed to cause car accidents.

Gum tape

These are really quite clever...

Also, look what I found while I was drinking coffee! Nobody is going to understand this... anyway...

Gamete

HAHAHA. I had to share the laughter. Thanks for the link buddy. 

I don't even use Facebook, but I probably would if these were real. 

Gratitude

As a general rule of thumb the largest blueberries should be saved for consumption last. Also, a wedding ring about this size should be big enough.

I dropped one on my bed and I couldn't find it even after lifting the blankets and moving the pillows. I'll probably eventually squish it in my sleep because that's typically how my life plays out. It's worse when it's pomegranates because I wake up thinking it's that time of the month. 

I scoped out this new guitar store with my friend this weekend and it was pretty nice mostly because they have all of the high end Taylor guitars that I drool over. It's difficult to find places like this because the market demand is so low. 

How romantic. ;)

Gritty

After watching so many questionable documentaries I've come up with a list of the most common reasons for why innocent people get murdered.

1. They are desperately searching for someone to love them and delve into relationships too quickly
2. Substance abuse/drug related circumstance
3. Going to bars/night clubs
4. Hanging around the wrong people
5. Being too rich or too poor

There are days I wish I were a pigeon.

Gondola

Ah, so this is what I've been doing all these years. I was unaware there was a term for my meaningless arm flailing.

I'm sure I've posted something similar before, but these still made me laugh.

...and these are equally hilarious... because everyone does #14.

Graphite

Although I don't like to admit it, I think I'm a pretty sensitive person. I'm not typically outwardly expressive of my emotions because I don't want to be known as one of those crazy psychos, but in my mind I'm always over-thinking, "Why haven't they called me back?" "Why haven't they responded?"

This is so perfect because it's Grey's Anatomy :)

My usual response is to freak out internally and analyze everything, but recently I've come to terms with myself and the rest of the world. Honestly, once I stopped trying so hard and caring so much everything started falling into place. I've been really happy. There has to be back and forth, give and take. Constantly chasing people around isn't healthy (or useful) because in the end those that want to stay will stay and those that want to go will go. Simple. It's not that I don't care about anything anymore, rather I find that it's become very easy to let go. 

Gumdrop

My credit card and debit card expired at the same time and I haven't received either one of the cards in the mail yet, so I've been living off of $7 cash this week. It was really embarrassing when I called my credit card company because they wanted to check my last transaction to see if I authorized a payment of $4.68 to... Jelly Belly Outlet. Kill me now. Actually, I probably could have died the other day because I fell off of a ladder when I was trying to trim a large bush. I landed on my butt and now have a large pear-shaped bruise. This would potentially be useful if I was a pre-school teacher teaching fruits... but then I would get arrested and accused of being a pedophile. They tell you that you'll be better off if you go to college, but nothing has changed. I still can't afford a gardener. The economy at it's finest. What else did I do these days...? Gave a FedEx man a Snapple just because. I guess that's about it though.

I love rainy days :)

This. Is. Hilarious. We were bored. You know, I looked back at my posts and realized that any guitar/piano I've posted has all been of me fooling around. Since you guys take time out of your lives to read about my ridiculous life I think I should record for you guys at least once though I honestly think I play better live because recording makes me nervous. Anyway, look forward to it--or don't. P.S. That's the $6000 guitar that I said I wasn't going to buy, but did because I'm a lousy piece of crap. You can't really tell from the ridiculous video though.

Gawdelpus

Continued--I'm pretty sure that's part of why I'm not particularly good at receiving compliments even at this age. There's a difference between being humble and truly not believing what people are telling you. I'm probably the second one. I recently went to my friend's house and I was just chilling, playing guitar when her boyfriend walked in and was in shock. He then told me that I played guitar really well and that I should hold concerts and teach at some institute. I said thanks (not really believing him) and he went on to asking me a bunch of questions about guitar and he told me that he grew up surrounded by music (though he himself doesn't play) and that his sister was a music major, but he felt that she was very mechanical and played with no emotion. He then went on to ask me how I felt while playing guitar--usually happy--and if every time I played it sounded different--depends on how I feel and he said that he could probably sit and listen to me play for hours. I finally believed him after talking to him for 3 hours.

Guitar is one of the things I care about most in the world. It's unfortunate that I haven't found anyone as interested in it as I am and I was sad when I realized that this is the first time someone has ever asked me--in such detail--about something that I truly care about. Though I guess it's understandable no one has ever asked me about receptors in detail... I could go on for hours. Anyway, it was nice. I need to meet more people like this because after I left I was so happy that I couldn't help smiling every time I thought about playing.

Genuinely caring about others and what they care about is the fundamental basis of a friendship or any relationship for that matter. Unfortunately, genuinely caring about people is a rarity possessed by only a select few in this world. Find them while you can and don't let go because finding more... well, good luck with that.

Although dark and gloomy, I know that my past experiences have made me the person I am today, so it's okay. I just think that as as parent there are better ways to teach children.

Grimace

Oh gosh, this is great. When I was younger my parents never let me believe there was a Santa Claus. In Elementary School they taught all of us that if we were "good kids" we would get a visit from Santa Claus and when I went home it went down like this:

"X teacher told me that Santa Claus will give me a present if I'm good!"
"...No. There's no Santa."

Thanks parents. And this is why I am a twisted person. Then again, I'm pretty sure these days kids can just Google whether or not there's a Santa. Actually, to tell you the truth I don't believe in giving children 10,000 gifts on one day. I think it's better to positively reinforce them for good behavior consistently. Growing up I never received positive reinforcement for anything, but plenty of punishment was received for 98/100. I was eventually two classes ahead of my grade in math, playing piano like a good kid, winning essay writing competitions in the newspapers, etc. Somehow whatever I attempted was never enough. I became desperate--grasping at straws. I worked incredibly hard to try and be good at everything in order to hear them say good job or that they were proud of me. Nothing. As a result I became good at a bunch of random useless things and it wasn't until college that I figured out I should want to excel for myself and not for anyone else. From there I picked up Biochemistry and a guitar and sailed away into the moonlight.

I'll continue this later--it's getting too personal.

Guarantee

Basically.

This will blow your mind. I hate peeling oranges and tend to fall in love with people that peel them for me, but I guess I don't have to anymore.

Ganglia

The only things I have to look forward to these days are playing guitar or watching dark and twisted documentaries on Netflix mostly involving WWII or drug cartels. You all should watch The Great Dictator by Charlie Chaplin if you have time. It was made before America's involvement in the war and it's a comedic attack on Nazi belief and caused a lot of controversy in America because at that time people assumed things happening in Germany were "not that bad." The film itself is funny, but there's a very dark undertone. It's really interesting. This video is also really interesting...

Graph

United States version.
Europe version.

For some reason Americans find it preposterous that people don't know all of the states because America, in general, believes that they're the center of the world. The truth is, 90% of people on Earth could not possibly care less how many states we have. However, I find it kind of sad that most Americans don't know the countries in Europe. I think they purposely don't teach us geography when we're younger, so that we become self-centered bigots. I mean, my geography sucks. If I don't know where something is I label it as "somewhere in the middle east" and leave it at that.