Circumvention

I've been doing a lot of thinking (per usual) and I find that I have all of this money saved "for the future," but I don't even know what exactly this future consists of. I'm not saying that I'm going to go around buying a bunch of cars or go T-Pain status "making it rain" on the rooftop of some secluded building, but I do think that it's time that I treat myself better. In fact, I think we all need to treat ourselves better in the present to broaden our perspectives and enhance our future prospects--that is, if you're not a horrible person. If you're a horrible person please isolate yourself in a dark corner and reflect on your wrongdoings. While you're at it you can also apologize to the people that have wasted time on you. I deserve an apology damn it...

I don't understand why anyone would do anything that they're going to have to apologize for. Just don't do it. People are always apologizing to me. For some reason I'm stupid enough to fall for it and forgive them only to have the cycle repeat itself. Or well, that's what my friend told me the other day, "I think you're always miserable because you forgive people so easily. They're not going to change because you just let it go. Everyone deserves a second chance, but you give people like 900." Well, what would you suggest I do? They're not going to change regardless. Real life example time...

A few months ago someone apologized to me for XYZ reason and wanted to meet up with me to catch up (after two years). I had previously concluded that this person was quite horrible. I shouldn't have said yes, but I did because I was hoping/curious that perhaps this person changed. When I met up with this person I thought, "Wow! They're completely different. They've really changed in a good way. I'm impressed." and so we continued to randomly hang out. After a while I realized that this person did not change at all it's just that they valued me more, so I was deceived into thinking otherwise. Does no one else see that this is the problem? Everyone is so busy chasing things that they think they want that they don't realize the importance of/appreciate the things that are right next to them until they disappear. Not going to lie--I'm guilty of constantly chasing things that I think I want, but there's no way I would let something important disappear. And so the lesson for today is: don't be a scumbag. It's harder than you think.

For some reason this reminded me of when my old housemate and I would go grocery shopping and it made me laugh. :)