Einstein

I'm sick of studying so I'll introduce you guys to my theory of life. It makes sense to me at least. Everyone's life can be modeled by a line. I'm the black one and you're the blue one. Together we make a bruise. Okay, that was bad. Moving on. If both of us go about our lives normally we might see each other at points A, B, and C because we're taking the same class, we work together, etc. Other than those times where we know we will definitely meet, we won't see each other at all. However, let's say today you spontaneously decide to go to the gym at 1:30pm (spontaneous activity modeled by dotted blue line) and you see me there (point D). It's because you have deviated from your normal path. After, we decide to go get something to eat (point E), but this is not something that you would normally do and if you didn't go to the gym at 1:30pm then I wouldn't have seen you at all. Then there are those random people that you see while grocery shopping in Hawaii while you're on a vacation (point F)--only once in your life. What I mean is you only see certain people at certain points in your life.

That's why I think that seeing people randomly is more than mere coincidence. It must be... fate. The chances that two people meet unexpectedly at the same place and time are incredibly slim. The chances that you actually like that person are even smaller. How many times have you seen someone and thought "Oh gosh, it's her hide me!" or "This is too awkward, I better avoid eye contact." If by chance they happen to be someone you do like you should attack them and say hi because it means it's meant to be and this stroke of good fortune probably won't happen again.

I don't know why my brain works this way or why I'm thinking about this. I should be thinking about enzyme kinetics, but whatever. My gosh.. I even drew a graph. -_-

85%

You know those exercise bikes? I don't usually like those things, but the new ones looked so fancy that I had to try it out. It had games, TV, radio, etc. pretty cool. I distracted myself by playing connect four for a good 30 minutes. I didn't know it would turn out this way... my butt has been hurting for the past day. Every time I sit down I feel like the seat beneath me is actually a rock.

HAHAHA! This is so accurate. I've injured myself before.

Yesterday morning was a bit hectic. I went to work in the afternoon so that I could dissect a mouse in the morning. The first few hours were completely insane; Murphy's Law in action. Vivarium key wouldn't work, we couldn't find the toxin, all of the solutions had to be made, things expired, and so on. However, after I searched the refrigerator like a mad woman I finally found the elusive Conotoxin hiding behind just about every box imaginable and things seemed to turn around quickly. I thought that my good fortune would end there, but when I went to work in the afternoon my supervisor informed me that we were approved for publication. Finally! I feel like my hard work has payed off. Second author is not bad for an undergraduate don't you think? I'm so happy that I don't feel like studying for my midterm, but since it's tomorrow I should probably stop procrastinating. Okay one lame joke before I go.

One day a turtle and lion got into a fight:

Lion: "What are you looking at? You want to fight?"
Turtle: "Tie your hair up first!"
Lion: "Pfft, take off your backpack then!"

Squeeze

Ah, my carrot juice. I know I'm weird. I'm that one person that goes to Jamba Juice and doesn't buy a smoothie and that one person that goes to Subway and buys a salad. Their carrot juice is pretty good. I don't go often because I feel bad when I see them dragging out a giant tub of carrots, throwing them into the juicer, and trying to squish it with all their might... even more so if they're short and they have to stand on one of those purple stools to reach it.

I always wonder where people have worked in the past. My first job was incredibly embarrassing, so I'll choose not to disclose that information here. Maybe if you ask me in person I'll tell you. You know what though? I realize that it's not good to work for a place you like because chances are you're going to end up hating it. That's why I could never work at Banana or Chipotle. I highly doubt they would hire me anyway; my resume is too nerdy. It's very apparent that I spend all of my time cooped up in labs. They would probably question my ability to 'communicate effectively'.

Call me Bond

If I found a four leaf clover do you think I would be luckier? A few days ago I went to deposit a check and figured I might as well stop by the Farmer's Market to pick up some fruit since I was in the area. I rarely ever go because it's only on Wednesdays and Saturdays and I'm lazy. First of all, that place was crowded like no other. I've never seen so many people there before and you know how I hate crowded places? Yeah. Bad. I was going to grab some strawberries and get the heck out of there, but then out of the corner of my eye I saw something... the FIRST graduate student I worked for during Freshman year, M******.  I didn't particularly like her and she only used me for my car, but holy crap. What the heck was she doing there? I ducked behind a counter and hid there for ten minutes. Out of nowhere some lady taps my shoulder and asks if I need help with anything. Embarrassing. I got up from my not-so-secret hiding spot and slowly walked towards the strawberries when I turned my head and saw the rudest and worst TA that I've ever had at this school. You know those TA's that think they're the smartest people on Earth and that all undergraduates are unworthy and when you ask them a question they respond in a condescending manner? One of those. YES, J** I am talking to you, you horrible person.

What the heck was going on? I wonder if there was some kind of nutrition event. The chances of seeing both of them at the same place are a bit slim. I felt like I was filming mission impossible. I even put on my hat, frames, and hood, and started shuffling behind people while hiding my face in order to get out of there. I was so scared that my life has been reduced by ten years. The worst part? I didn't even get my strawberries! :( Conclusion: lesson learned. I'm never leaving the house without a disguise again.

Aunt: "I know why you like that drama."
J: "Why?"
Aunt: "The main character is like you, direct when speaking, but also cute, weird, dorky, and funny"
J: "You think I'm cute! Hehehe :)"
Aunt: "You're missing the point!"
J: "DAWWW"
Aunt: "I give up, I can never win against you."

Ahh, I need to do laundry. Haha, I do this every finals week. Don't lie, you know you do it too.

No thanks

Guy TA's really scare me. Ever since my Physics TA back in the day asked me if I wanted to go out to lunch with him I've been more alert about these things--though I guess not alert enough. Today my TA was talking to me and when I was about to leave he said that he would walk me to the stairs. I told him it was okay and was ready to sprint out the door, but he insisted and followed me out anyway. There's still 2/3 of the class left, shoot me now. This is so uncomfortable. I really wouldn't mind if he wasn't so creepy. Thank goodness he's not the one that grades things or else I would feel more burdened than I already do. I honestly don't know what I'm doing wrong. It's not as if I'm going around showing some leg or whatever (though I'm sure that would probably cause the opposite effect). Ahh why does this happen to me, I'm going to cry.

Like my creeper picture? They're repaving the parking lot. I'll post a final product picture after they're done. I was really irritated at first because I have to leave work early and make up time in order to come back and find a parking space, but in all honestly it's starting to look pretty nice. 

It must have been a big one... HA, sorry I know I'm not funny, but it had to be said. Who puts a biohazard bag on a toilet? It makes it looks suspicious. I also looked suspicious as I was taking the picture. I had to turn around and pretend to wash my hands a few times to avoid awkward stares. 

Magnetic

I can't do this anymore. I'm about to give up. I really don't think it's possible to get a six-pack. I don't know how people do it. I swear, I don't eat anything and I spend all of my extra time at the gym looking like a highlighter while blinding innocent people and yet I only have four (barely).

Accept me for who I am! Let me be fat. :( Also, the Nike+ sensor built into my shoe didn't sync to my phone very well. I think the connection was interrupted by the girl next to me that also had one because after running for two hours it said that I ran 0.05 miles and burned 6 calories with a mile time of 2010 min/mile. Too pro.

There's this thing I don't understand. I don't know why people are attracted to me. Don't close the page, I'm not talking about emotions/love life right now, I'm being literal. You know how when you sit down in a lecture hall and people automatically sit one seat away from you leaving an empty seat in the middle? Yeah, that never happens. Both sides are always occupied and I hate it. I feel like I can't breathe and I've been trying to figure this out. For example, today there were 30 open treadmills and two people running when I went in. I chose a secluded spot far away from the other two people. After a while a girl walked in, headed towards me, and started running on my left hand side. Two minutes later a guy entered and got on the treadmill to my right. What the heck. Out of all the treadmills, WHY? So uncomfortable. What I'm thinking is maybe I have crazy strong people-seducing pheromones. Like a bug.

Sorry guys, I exposed my arm yesterday and today it's my leg... who knows what will be revealed tomorrow. I'm just kidding, I'll stop showing skin. Please forgive me this one time.

Diseased

I'm not sure if I should be concerned or not, but a small mole from my right pinky is disappearing while a small mole on my left ring finger is developing. Growth of asymmetrical moles = cancer, but what does a disappearing mole signify?

Look at this beast! I got bitten yesterday when I was washing my car and it's like this today. It's hard to tell from the picture, but it protrudes from my arm. This thing is growing exponentially. I'm pretty sure I got bitten by the most vicious mosquito outside. I feel like I'm going to get West Nile Virus at this rate.

M: "Omg your arm! Never go to Africa!"
J: "What? Why?"
M: "You can't even handle American mosquitoes.."
J: "-__- true."

Don't you hate it when you need something and you can't find it? I was going to pluck my eyebrows, but I couldn't find my mirror. I searched everywhere even crawling along the floor of my room like a caterpillar to no avail (does anyone remember this?). I was about to give up and come to terms with looking like a Neanderthal when I got thirsty and went to the freezer to grab a bottle of water... lo and behold it was my mirror, chilling (HA! get it? okay that was bad I'll stop).  It's so cliche and you would think that it only happens to old people in movies, but we've already established the fact that I'm the exception. Hey, I was only being considerate. In this weather anything would want to be in the freezer.

Blind

There are times that I am immensely grateful my housemate is such a heavy sleeper. I move around a lot at this time, so it's good that she's not awake to witness what I'm doing. I just got back from partying because I'm clearly a party animal. I'm joking, I went swimming--at 2am--and when I came back I wanted to throw out trash, do laundry, boil vegetables, and wash dishes. And that's exactly what I did... in my swimsuit. I have this thing where if I'm inspired to do something or if I know it needs to get done I have to do it right away because the moment my butt hits the chair and my computer turns on it's all over and I'll procrastinate on doing whatever it is for another week. I just think it would be bad if she walked out of her room and saw me humming and dancing around with a knife and a giant head of broccoli in a bikini. No one should have to see that. My gosh, I would get arrested.

I washed my car today. I think I have really bad luck and timing when it comes to washing my car. I don't know why I chose the hottest day of the summer to do it, but whatever. I was determined at the moment. As I was bent down with my earphones, fully concentrated on washing my hubcap, someone yells in a low voice "YO!" I was so scared I screamed and automatically jumped three feet into the bush to my right (possibly disrupting a family of birds that usually defecate on my car). From the sound of the voice I thought it would be a big fat bouncer-type guy, but when I looked it was M. I didn't know she was capable of producing such sounds. I have to admit that was pretty good. The only other time I can remember being that scared was at our sleepover in high school when everyone thought K was sleeping, so we tried to craftily take pictures with her without waking her up. Turns out she was faking and reached out and grabbed me when I was posing for a picture. I ended up screaming and hitting my head on the coffee table. I kind of deserve this though. I've been pranking people since I was born. Really, they should hire me for this.

Dang it! I was caught. My housemate just woke up and told me that she saw me in my bathing suit. I have failed. I apologized profusely. :(

Adipose

It's a miracle that I'm not blind after everything I saw today. If people knew how unattractive and highly disturbing they look would they choose better outfits on a daily basis? I was at the gym and there was this girl wearing a sports bra and a "shirt"--if you can even call it that, it looked more like a dirty dish rag. Okay, I can understand if you have a six pack and you want people to be jealous, but C'MON WOMAN, not if you have three rolls of fat just hanging there. What's worse is the fact that she was using the elliptical. Jiggle, jiggle. The girl running next to her probably had an eight pack, but she was fully clothed.

As I was walking out of class I was on my phone and I looked up to avoid tripping over a curb (which I did the other day) and guess what I saw? Some girl's butt. Her shorts were so short that you could literally see her butt-cheeks. At that point why do you even bother? You might as well just take it off, return it, and save money.

I kind of felt sorry for the girl #3 because she had a lot of cellulite. Cellulite has this amazing ability... analogous to that of a train wreck. You see it and it's horrible and disgusting, but for some reason you can't look away. If I had cellulite I would wear pants all the time. I would rather get heat stroke than expose the public to the herniation of my subcutaneous fat.

I'm not a prude, but this is ridiculous. I just think that the general public needs to realize what is aesthetically pleasing and what is not. People are defined as beautiful based upon demeanor (i.e. how they carry themselves) and not how much skin they show. If I walked around with one boob showing would I be more attractive? HEAVENS, NO! Put that away! Boobs go inside bras that go inside shirts. I don't see why this concept is so difficult. On the other hand, if you're horrendously ugly dressing well can make up for it (slightly). Classy/semi-formal is the way to go!

For Godot

I spent the day waiting. I waited for my reactions in lab (and then I realized I forgot to add the enzyme which means no reaction... I'm pretty genius at 7:00am), I waited for my supervisor, I waited for someone to send me data, and I waited for my laundry. How much time do we spend waiting? I wish I could make things happen so I can move on with my life, but there's only so much yelling you can do at a laundry machine.

S: "So what do you do at your labs--simply?"

J: "Filter, kill, and heat things, pipet, analyze data, repeat"

S: "What? That's it?"

That's what it is if you want it simply. Oddly enough this applies to every lab. -_- My life is mundane, let me be. Here's a snapshot into what goes on at the Neurology lab. Freaking... 100Hz microelectrode data... I spent so much time changing the baseline for every individual EPP. It might seem irritating, but there are days where I don't want to move and data analysis + earphones/iPod are the way to go.

If you can guess what this is you are a genius! One of our samples got contaminated at work and we were trying to figure out what it was: Nostoc, also known as... algae. You can even see the heterocysts! :) This made me happy for some odd reason. I'm such a nerd.

Does anyone sleep on a tempurpedic bed? I'm really afraid of those things. I know it's super expensive and a supposed luxury, but I don't think I could ever sleep on one permanently. Don't you feel like you're getting eaten by a squishy monster? Someone gave me a pillow as a present, so I thought I would try to use it, but I felt like I was going to suffocate. 

The after: 3

You guys know how I feel about lab partners right? Useless? Anyway, I was going to do everything by myself, but this girl asked me if I wanted to be her lab partner and I kind of felt sorry for her (she's a bit clueless), so I agreed. I had her stand there with the pH meter and do all of the menial things that I didn't want to do. I guess it worked out in the end. I did 7/8 of the lab and gave her all of the answers. I even offered to explain it to her, but she said it was okay because she wanted to leave early, so she left and I sat there and did the calculations we had to turn in by myself. I feel so used.

Well, when we were waiting for the spectrophotometer readings we started talking and she told me about how she was 27 and had 2 kids, 11 and 8. See, when normal people hear this they think, "Oh, okay. How cute." or something along the lines of that. However, my brain doesn't work that way. When I heard this I thought, "SO YOU GAVE BIRTH AT THE AGE OF 16?!" and you guys know how sometimes my words bypass the filter and go straight out of my mouth? It was a close call. I was surprised, but I had to pretend like this was the most normal thing in the world and that everyone gets pregnant at 16. I think I had to improvise with something along the lines of "Ohh, so they go to school here? I pass by an Elementary School on my way to lab!" even though I was still in shock. It's good though. That she's in school, I mean.

Last part of the long update: my shoes came and they're beautiful. :)

This made me laugh because it seems like something I would do. It reminded me of my intricate ant traps in middle school where I made barriers with soap to try and confuse them. Hey, it worked sort of. HAHA. My answer would have been the same. So nerdy.

I'm glad I split that up. That update was way too long for one post. I'll try to be more consistent so I don't have to do that anymore.

Middle

(Part 2 of 3) Saturday was ridiculous. I feel like I crammed a whole summer into Saturday. I went to four different malls and a bunch of random places. H came back from Berkeley just for me. I'm so touched. Oh, and I went to go test out another guitar that I'm debating on buying. It sounds amazing. I would definitely get it if $5000 fell from the sky. Also, we visited E while she was working and we were trying to surprise her, but I looked so suspicious hiding behind a giant shelf James Bond style that her manager spotted me immediately and asked E if we were her friends. Embarrassing. That reminds me of middle school when we got kicked out of Hobby World for playing Mission Impossible and disturbing their non-existant customers. My rare "bad kid" moment.

I've been wanting to eat 떡볶이 for 6 months and I finally got some. You know that feeling when you want something and you get it? :)

Sunday. I went kayaking for the first time. Never have I truly felt like a white girl until this day. As I was rowing I thought, "Ahh, so this is what they do..." It was pretty fun minus these giant pelicans that were sitting there trying to eat us. They're quite ugly. They didn't even care that we were getting closer and even though we were yelling at them (at least I was...) "You have to move!! I don't know how to steer! AHH!" they wouldn't budge. I was dressed like a unabomber because I didn't want to tan and my fear of skin cancer, but that's okay because I've come to accept the fact that I look suspicious 80% of the time. Of course the next day I was sore and couldn't pick up my phone without pain coursing through my muscles. Good thing work doesn't require any manual labor, though I've got to say, pipetting can get pretty strenuous. My right thumb muscles are probably bigger than any other muscles I have. At night: went out to eat, coffee/talking at a cafe, hung out for a while, and then made the journey back to school at 4am. So ends part 2.

Before

I've been neglecting my blog because I'm lazy and have a lot to update. I don't know where to start, so I'll do this in two (or three) parts. Stay tuned.

I went to this one Japanese market and they have hybrid fruits. It looks like a cantaloupe, but it's actually a honeydew. I wanted to buy one but I was afraid I would die after consumption. Too weird. I did, however, craftily snap a photo when the store employee was busy with the cucumbers.

I also had to take a picture of the pudding chocolate. It's winking! Haha, recently I've developed a winking obsession. I have to constantly remind myself that I can't wink at guys or else they'll get the wrong idea. Not going to lie, I almost winked at my supervisor the other day, but I turned my head away at the last second.

I like how my computer is smarter than I am and automatically flips pictures for me when I drag them to the desktop. It probably knows how lazy I am by now, so it's trying to save you guys from injuring your necks while looking at my pictures.

Anyway, after random grocery shopping, Friday was filled with a bunch of seafood and karaoke. I'm happy I got to eat because I've pretty much been a starving child lately. I spend all of my time with chemicals and balding men... what an exciting life I lead. As for karaoke, I took a video, but posting it is probably not a good idea because it's incredibly loud and you guys might go deaf.

MIA

I'm sure you guys are sick of my sunrise/sunset photos by now, but it's so orange today I had to. If I had a dog I would raise it in the air and yell "Simba" while playing tribal drums.

Also... I was running at night and took a picture of this (yes, I was in the middle of the road). It's very rare that we're able to see the moon nowadays with all the pollution. Though it may seem like I'm a crazy nature person, I'm really not. I just like to appreciate and capture certain moments. By the way, I am never running that late again. My heart was beating incredibly fast not because I was getting a good workout, but because I had this constant fear that someone/something would jump out from behind a bush and eat me.

I really want snow crab again. I love seafood. I think I could eat crab everyday for the rest of my life and not get sick of it. I would probably die from high cholesterol and subsequent cardiac arrest, but whatever, at least I would die happily.

Pomegranate

I'm not afraid of heights, but I'm afraid of the possibility of falling and dying. Whenever I look down and start thinking about falling, my legs turn into jello and I feel like I'm going to collapse. My friend said that means I'm afraid of heights. I'm not. I can walk around, look down, etc. and be perfectly fine, but it's when I start thinking that everything goes downhill. My lousy friends used to pretend to jump off mall overhangs and freeway bridges. I try not to look. Given this fact, it's kind of weird that one of the things that I want to do before I die is go on a hot air balloon ride. They're just too cute to pass up. I figure as long as I go with someone that doesn't mind me freaking out and clinging onto them like lint on black pants it'll be fine. Any takers?

Okay, I know this is really dumb, but I have to admit to something. Back in the day when I would ride up an escalator I would stare down at my feet and notice that my shoes were dirty. Then I would realize there was that brush-y thing at the side and think "Hmm... I wonder if I can clean my shoes on this?" so I stuck my shoe next to it. When I got off the escalator I noticed that my shoes were dirtier than they were initially. Is this because the escalator is dirty or because everyone cleans their shoes on the brush-y thing?

First time playing with sweaty guys at the gym. Not bad, not bad though I am bleeding, but that's to be expected. I'm fragile. Nothing a Hello Kitty bandage can't fix. After they realized I wasn't useless they actually passed me the ball and invited me to play next time. Given the fact that nearly all of them were nice old men, it wasn't too surprising. I'm so sore that at this point I'm pretty sure my calves have calves. Now all I need to do is find nice old men to play tennis with me. I figure I might as well put my basketball and tennis skills (or lack thereof) to some use or else I'll end up utilizing such acquired ability to throw laundry into a basket and swat flies which is rather wasteful don't you think?

We'll see

I woke up at 5:30am scared because I thought I would be late for work. I started putting on my clothes and then realized it was July 4th, so I rolled back onto my bed. When I woke up again I was wearing an ugly shirt and my pants were only half on. Not bad given I slept at 4:40am. Then I went to Starbucks and the barista said that they were having a free tall coffee promotion which totally made my day. I swear, Starbucks baristas are the only people that can make me smile this much at such unfortunate hours.

My temporary lab parter in my class lab got married the day before we had lab. Isn't that cute? How exciting. He was such a nice guy. I'm truly happy for him, but what a horrible time to have a wedding. Oh and he was probably either a graduate student or someone that took a few years off, so yeah.

I was accused of being a boyfriend hater the other day. I don't hate your boyfriends it's just very difficult for me to approve unless I really like them and think that there's no one else in the world that is better. In fact, I think I only approve of three guys out of all of my friends. It's funny that people try to explain themselves to me and justify their being with their significant other. Once I've already made up my mind it's very difficult to convince me otherwise, but it essentially doesn't matter. It's not as if my approval is necessary. Perhaps you feel better if you have it. I suppose I would want my close friends to approve as well. I'm just saying this might be a problem if I go to the ceremony. It'll be an even greater concern if I happen to be sleep deprived the day of because that's when my brain stops filtering between what should be said and what shouldn't. That's right. I'll be that one crazy lady that needs to be detained.

As for me, I'm marrying this guy. Approve?

Chaos

My permit expired today so I had to go pick up my new one, but I was paranoid that the transportation police would write me a ticket because they're ridiculous like that. Therefore, it was absolutely necessary to leave them a note:

I think it worked because there was no ticket on my windshield when I got back to my car. I did a small victory dance in my mind. :) Anyway, I ended up not even getting the permit. I stood in line for over half an hour turning into burnt toast, but the line only moved half an inch. My ghetto note will do for the time being.

Lab was pretty crazy today. We were training the mice and they kept falling off the of Rotarod--all of them except this one crazy beast that decided it would be fun to jump from the Rotarod onto the cabinet shelf and behind a bunch of voltmeters. It took us nearly 30 minutes to catch that dumb thing. Urine and feces were flying in ten different directions as we were frantically moving around the small room; it was pretty much a carnival, really. At the very least, I'm grateful for the fact that no one walked in to witness our mouse stalking/looking like psychos.

I can't wait to wash my car tomorrow night though I don't know why I bother. I know the weather forecast says that it'll be 93 degrees, but given my luck it'll probably rain Wednesday. 

Escape

Yesterday was my first and last time going to the gym in the afternoon. I like the treadmills there because they're super fancy, but it's not worth the... smell. I got sick of studying and had to burn some energy, so I decided to go to the gym. I was happily running until the wonderful fragrance of sweaty boy wafted over towards me. I thought I was going to choke and die. I tried to hold my breath, but that didn't work out too well because I was already lacking in ATP. The treadmills are right next to the basketball courts, so there was quite a bit of wafting going on.

I just noticed that my freezer door doesn't have a light! I was trying to get my water and couldn't see anything. Is that weird or is it normal? I'm trying to remember if the freezer door at my house has a light, but I can't remember because it's been too long. Somehow those refrigerator lights can be really entertaining. When I was bored I used to try to balance the light between on and off (you've done this before, don't deny it). Either that or I would just stick my head in the freezer to "explore" though another one of my fears is getting trapped inside a refrigerator or an elevator. Living life on the edge.

I don't remember who sent me this, but that made me laugh so of course I had to share.