Today, I was assured that gyms are invented for a reason. I started running outside and before I even got as far as one block, a black cat hissed and darted in front of me out of nowhere. I screamed and ran away like a little girl. I hate cats. I have always hated cats. Maybe they can sense this sort of thing. It was one cat, so be it. However, as I was running I noticed something... why did it smell like something was rotting everywhere I ran by? Ah-ha! Tomorrow is trash day, which means that everyone has their rotting goods out for display by the roadside. A very smart move on my part if you ask me. I totally forgot that it was trash day and decided to go outside and run in this "crisp, fresh, air" more like in imperative need of some Febreeze (I prefer spring breeze or clean linen). So, I decided to put one finger under my nose and breathe with my mouth as I ran, but I thought about it for a while longer... doesn't that mean that technically I'm eating rotten food air as I'm running. That thought sickened me and encouraged me to run faster-- right into a spider web. You can never see those pesky things.
Finally, as I rounded the bend and approached home I thought that nothing else would happen. However, this is the story of my life and as we all know, that means something has to go wrong. Right as I was distracted and changing my song, a blast of cold flew right at me. My primal instinct: oh my gosh, protect my ipod, and I stuck it inside the sleeve of my sweatshirt. Sprinklers have such great timing. They know exactly when I'm coming. I really love it when sprinklers water the sidewalk instead of watering the grass. It's just so useful, I mean the ants have to drink water somehow right? I swear, tonight I feel like everything is out to get me. And this is why I never leave the house.
This post was overly sarcastic, but I think you guys should be used to it by now and if you're still reading this means you like my sarcasm right? (--I can already see everyone getting ready to click on the big red x at the top right hand corner of the browser)
take pictures & sign checks <3
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