I got lucky

You dirty children. I know what you guys were thinking after you saw the title. Tsk tsk.

I probably looked like an idiot this morning. I was trying to get my bike onto my bike rack and I was struggling for a good fifteen minutes. I started getting frustrated and started talking to my bike "why do you do this every morning?!" as a mom and child walked by. I looked up and saw the mom move the child from her right side to her left side (i.e. the side away from me). She probably thought I was going to attack someone (which I was very close to doing). I gave up and whacked the stupid thing that holds the bike onto the rack and it snapped into place. Why didn't I think of that sooner? You know what's ridiculous? I hate how I can spend hours or days trying to figure out how to get something to work and then someone walks by and whacks it and somehow it's miraculously fixed. Maybe I should just go around hitting everything.

So this is what happened with my COM class and that dumb essay. I ended up being too exhausted last night so I fell asleep after procrastinating my life away. My eyes burst open and I woke up at 7:00am thinking, "Oh crap" so I brought my laptop into the bathroom, peed, brushed my teeth, washed my face, and finished my essay. I walked out and looked at my clock. 7:35am. Not too shabby. But, the thing was I forgot to do my index cards. I only did one of them and I was too lazy to do the other 24. At this point I was just too tired and lazy to care, so I just decided to forget about it or perhaps frantically write a few more in Chem. That never happened because we were too busy laughing in Chem. When I got to class she announces which index card she is going to collect (she only collects one) and she tells us that she is going to collect the one on Levi Strauss. I look down at the one index card that I did... score! Levi Strauss it is. Amazing right? I guess today is my lucky day. I should go and buy a lottery ticket. Psych. I would rather spend that on lettuce. I'm completely out... time for another Safeway run :)

I ran away from class again. Teehee. That's the only reason why I'm back. But once again, I need to get going. I don't understand why they even bother having discussion this week. So ridiculously pointless. Last Chem lab of the year though! That's something to be happy about.

wear socks & throw laundry

The after

Oh man. This is officially ridiculous. I don't want to pay the electricity bill (bahhhhh Christmas lights?), I would rather buy more clothes. Sigh. I'm so sad. When I got back yesterday night I thought that I must have taken a wrong turn and ended up in Alaska. What is up with this cold and fog? But, I was smart this time and my snow jackets have migrated up here with me. Oh and that reminds me, I almost got into a car accident around Concord/Pittsburg which is ridiculous because there were only two cars on the freeway: me and a giant Safeway truck. It wanted to go into my lane and started merging in without flashing a signal or anything. I slammed on the brakes while thinking I was going to die. I've never heard the sound of my tires squealing against concrete before and I never want to experience that again.

What have I been doing lately? Well for one, not doing my essay of course. It's pretty bad because it's due tomorrow, but whatever. I'm not going to write unless I feel like it. Unfortunately for me I haven't felt like it since last Wednesday when she gave us the prompt (who gives an essay the day before Thanksgiving anyway? evil woman). I'll probably just do it twenty minutes before I sleep again. Whatever. This essay needs to just do itself.

Friday I took my cousins shopping (4 malls-- Gilroy, Great Mall, Oakridge, Valley Fair). I was high off of air as I was driving around at 2am trying to squint through the windshield. Those two poopers were falling asleep. I bought a lot of stuff and Banana had amazing deals, but I don't think I'm ever going to do that again. It was a bit too intense. I was delirious for the greater half of the day. I did eventually get to eat my Korean food though. That was satisfying. You know that feeling? When you get sudden cravings for certain things and then you finally get to eat it? Best feeling ever. I'm currently craving ddoekbokki. Sigh. Which reminds me I have soondubu in the fridge. Someone is bound to freak out. Oops, my bad. I think I hid it fairly well behind my raspberries though...

You know that picture that I put up on the right? Yep, that pretty much sums up how I feel right now.

Two more weeks guys, hang in here. We can do it! :)

wash cups & scare roommates <3

Thanks

I wasn't going to post today because I'm far too lazy, but what can I say. I like writing (and yet it doesn't seem like my essay is ever going to get done). No, but today I actually have something important to say (I know, for once right?).

Yesterday at my internship there were so many people. Nearly all the rooms were full. This is something they call holiday depression. Where people overdose on drugs, get drunk, choke on chicken bones, etc. I suppose there's a reason for all of this. It's probably because the holiday season drives people insane, which is understandable (relatives can be problematic at times). There was a lady that was yelling at everyone and accusing a nurse of abusing her. She then proceeded to blame the moon for everyone going crazy, but that's beyond the point and perhaps a story for another day.

I assumed I was going to continue the night waiting on all of these types of crazies until I walked past a room and saw that someone's food tray was empty and sitting on the adjustable table beside their bed. Reluctantly, I thought to myself, "Well, since I'm here already I might as well take it..." I approached the room and inside was a little old lady watching tv by herself. She looked so frail and delicate. I flashed her a smile and asked her if she was finished with her dinner. What happened next was unexpected. She smiled back and told me that it was really good, especially the canned pineapple. Canned pineapple? I hate canned pineapple. I can't stand it, it tastes like a moldy sponge (not that I've eaten a moldy sponge before..). She made it sound like it was the best thing she had ever eaten in her life. She then asked me if it would be okay for her to have some diet soda because they gave her milk on her tray, but she remembered they told her previously that she couldn't drink/eat anything containing lactose. No one ever listens to what the doctors say. Patients always go around messing up tests results. That's just what people do. She seemed like she wanted more pineapples, but she told me that if she had anymore pineapples it might be bad for the tests that needed to be run the following day; Thanksgiving. She was so sweet I decided to see if I could convince the RN to order her some more canned pineapple whilst checking her nutrition report to see if I could get her a diet soda.

I ended up only being able to get her the diet soda. They were understaffed in the kitchen and their main priority was to get the meals out to patients that have not yet eaten. From my understanding, they didn't want to deal with a little bowl of canned pineapple. That made me sad. I considered leaving the hospital, finding a grocery store, and getting it for her myself, but obviously I can't up and leave in the middle of an internship. I brought the soda to the room and apologized for not being able to get the pineapple. I saw that her hand was hooked up to a myriad of needles, (IV and meds) so I opened the soda for her. She said that she felt spoiled by me and thanked me for trying with the pineapple. She told me that she had to use the restroom and that she might need help later because she couldn't really walk well with her leg (she just had surgery). I asked her about it and we ended up talking for 45 minutes.

I wondered how such a nice lady would have no one with her during the holidays, especially after surgery. As I talked to her I learned about her husband that passed away and her son that was on the east coast with his own family. She was smiling the whole time she told me her story. I, on the other hand, was about to cry. I gazed at her in admiration and wondered, "How can someone be so strong?" I really wanted to stay with her longer, but the nurses were looking for me; they needed blood (not my blood, of course). I was really hesitant about leaving. She was the sweetest patient I've ever encountered. And for her to have no one there for her... it's not fair. Not even on Thanksgiving? It's really not fair. Even the jerks have their jerk relatives. Unfortunately, I had to make up for my 45 minutes of inactivity, so I ended up staying later finishing all the paper work. It was worth it though, I would have gladly stayed the whole night talking to her if she wanted me to. When I finished all my work, I went back to the room to say happy thanksgiving and goodnight before I took off, but she had already fallen asleep and I wasn't going to wake her.

So I've been thinking (too much as usual)... I'm so spoiled by you guys. I've always had this stable group of friends that I've been able to depend on. Sometimes I take it for granted because that fact makes me assume that I should be able to depend on anyone I meet (and it irritates me when I can't -- 99% of the time), but that's not true because I realize that I've only met one person here that I would ensure my life to and that was due to sheer luck (meaning I wasn't trying to make friends i.e. in class or whatever it just happened that we lived together last year). Being able to trust someone is a rarity and the fact that I can easily share everything with you guys is an amazing feat within itself. How was I so lucky to find so many amazing people? Thanks for spoiling me. And as much as I may deny this in person, and as disgusting as it sounds coming from me... I love you all :)

think & wonder <3

Laundry adventure

Maybe I wasn't meant to do laundry. I think this is a sign that I'm supposed to continually buy clothes and burn them after I wear them once (at least it could be an excuse...).

I decided that if I let my laundry grow anymore it wasn't going to fit into the laundry baskets, so I felt like it was about time to wash my clothes. I had to make three trips and I nearly used up all of the washing machines. That should tell you about how much clothes I have (oh, but I washed my bed sheets and blanket too). When I was putting in my whites something thin, long, and black fell out into the middle of the clothes. I screamed, ditched my clothes, and ran to the other side of the room thinking that it was another one of those dreaded centipedes. Luckily it wasn't. It was a wad of hair. Still gross, but less gross. I ran back to my room through the rain to wait for the laundry when I realized that I missed one sock that fell out of the laundry basket and lay on the carpet. I picked it up and ran to the laundry room to throw it in only to slip on the wet cement on my way there. Wonderful. I was wearing white shorts and a white shirt. I sat stunned for a moment, but eventually my sock reached the washer. I then ran back to the room and took off my white clothing and went back to the laundry room to throw those in again too. Unfortunately, I suck at opening doors so I rammed my right hip against the door (I now have an oddly shaped bruise) and pulled a Peter Griffin as I stood in pain for about five minutes before putting the clothes in. Now comes the drying. I put in the blankets and pressed start. I was putting in my other clothes when suddenly the blanket dryer's lid burst open. Apparently my bed sheet got caught on the little silver thing that keeps the door closed. Then when I went outside I couldn't see anything in front of me (because I was hugging my laundry basket that now has a hole) and I ran into a little kid. I'm not sure if he fell or not, but he seemed fine so I kept going. That ends my laundry adventure.

People that are really different can't be friends right? I don't believe the whole opposites attract thing. That doesn't make any sense to me and I don't think I've ever seen this work out before either (and more than anything this never works with guys and intimate relationships; never.). Sure you can establish the shallow friendship, but nothing more than that. At least that's what I've come to believe. Pessimist for life! Weird thing is people say that I don't look like one. What is that supposed to mean? Maybe I smile/laugh too much. But then again people also say I look like a partier. What is that supposed to mean? I do get invited to too many parties by random people though... I always decline. I'm not antisocial (only 80% of the time.. heh) I'm just not interested (if they wanted to take me to a delicious restaurant on the other hand...). Really there's no point in watching a bunch of people get drunk and then having to clean after them, I don't appreciate that, I do enough cleaning here as it is thank you very much. And little do they know the extent of my partying is dancing around in front of a mirror with a bra on. Yee! --and that's how you do it.

I can't believe this is happening again. So stupid. This is unhealthy. I never learn my lesson. I need to stop this and stop wasting time on things that don't matter. Alright. Officially I'm stopping. For real (I had to declare this out loud or it's not going to happen). I also need to stop baking. I'm not even that unhappy anymore. Sigh.

I can't believe I picked my internship to be at such a time on a Wednesday. This really sucks. I could have been gone by 11am, but here I am waiting for my internship to start (more like end...). I like my internship and all but... I just want to eat something delicious. I've been craving bibimbap and bulgogi for a while now (maybe some jjambbong, sogalbi, soondubu jjigae too). Heck man, I'm going to order everything on the menu. My aunt and I have already planned an eating adventure on Friday after I take my cousins on a four-mall shopping extravaganza. Also, what the heck are there even any good Korean restaurants here? I think that one crappy Chinese restaurant or Kim's market (which isn't even a restaurant, mind you) is as close as it gets.. the fusion restaurants don't count. That's plain ridiculous and unacceptable. I say that but I hardly eat anything as it is. I can't help it... I always have these cravings and I'll eat one bite and be satisfied. Then I never know what to do with the rest of the food. I usually give it to one of my several friends that seem to have bottomless stomachs.

The other day I was webcam-ing again with some fool and out of nowhere she screams out, "EW Joanna what the heck?!" I look around and flip out thinking that there's a bug somewhere as I frantically grab my Biology book (which I use more for bug exterminating than reading) and yell back at her, "What? WHAT?!" she points at my leg and says "EW your leg is disgusting I can see your bone go eat something." Wow. Way to scare the crap out of me for no reason. And just so you know, you can see the bones on everyone's legs. Well... almost everyone (there was this one lady at the hospital... she looked like a big sausage-- more on that next time).

I have so much time to kill. What to do? I could write the essay... but... ha. That was a good one. I guess I'll go run. Clear the mind and such.

make cheesecake & hide socks <3

Creepy beards

What have I been doing lately? Procrastinating, freezing, baking, running, playing piano. You know, the usual (minus the baking). I've pretty much played/baked all of my problems away. I think today is going to be a good day. Tuesdays are always good. Ah, I forgot I have this one Biology review thing at night. Hopefully it's not too painful. I just don't like going out when it's 10 degrees out, but then again it's warmer outside than it is in this house anyways, so it's not like it makes much of a difference. I like being in my car. I think it's the only place that I can turn on the heater. Mmm toasty. Cold days make me want to curl up into a ball with a cup of tea. That makes me want to watch a movie... we'll see how the rest of the day plays out :)

Oh my gosh you guys, a girl in my Chemistry class has a beard. Not even an outline of the hairs. No. This is an emergency. SOS she needs to shave that off now. Also, she has a mustache... but that's not as big of a deal as her beard. I swear I have never seen a girl with a beard before. It's not stubble, and it's not peach fuzz, it looks like a soft beard because she doesn't shave it. I saw it and I wanted to die; so immensely disturbing. You wouldn't understand unless you saw it. I'm going to try to take a picture, but I don't want to be too creepy. If I'm successful I'll post it up sometime in the near future.

I really need to do laundry. I've been procrastinating on that as well. I don't know why I always have so much clothes to wash... I guess it must be due to my refusal of wearing anything that I've worn once. This sucks. All of my money is going to laundry. I could be overdosing on Pinkberry with that instead. The solution? Buy more clothes, of course.

Ahh, the headaches are coming back. It was good for a while at least. More overdosing on pain killers. Wonderful. Tylenol is my best friend. By the way, I cut my bangs too short. Then again I don't think anyone notices anyway, people probably turn away and try not to look at my face when I walk by. Speaking of people looking at me that stupid guy in my COM class is still trying to sit next to me. No, I'm not just flattering myself. I'll be uncomfortable sitting next to him and so I'll move, but then he'll get up, follow me, and sit next to me again. So creepy. If anyone doesn't have anything to do between 12-1 come and keep me company please. I'm scared.

There's a weird sound coming from outside my window. What do I do? What if it's an axe murderer?!

I wish I could be less sensitive. I wish I could be like those people that can say, "Whatever, I don't care" and then magically they're over things, but I'm not. I'm cursed. Doomed to be a squishy-marshmallow-hearted overly emotional person for the rest of my life.

I smell like a cookie. Just saying.

Today is a good day for chicken noodle soup and hot Earl Grey pearl milk tea. Too bad I only have one piece of chicken left, no vegetables, and no noodles. I guess it's going to be cereal for lunch... again. I'm so lazy.

draw pictures & close windows <3

To anyone

Today sucks. Today really sucks. It sucks even more than yesterday and that was bad already. This whole weekend has been ruined. I don't remember the last time I've been in such an irritated mood. I can't even bring myself to bake because it's so... I feel so... this is not comfortable. Postponement of baking makes days even more sigh.

Are there rules to when you can eat certain food? Because quite frankly I was never informed of this. I kind of eat whatever I feel like eating (or whatever I have to eat which is... cereal) whenever I'm hungry. I had a sandwich for breakfast today and yogurt for lunch. I'll probably have cereal for dinner. Whatever. Who cares when you eat something as long as you eat when you're hungry. Does it matter? No. Am I going to flip out if you eat bacon for dinner and steak for breakfast? No. Honestly, I don't care, you can eat whatever you want whenever you want, who am I to tell you what to eat when? I'm so annoyed. ...must force smile... it would be easier if there were someone here to hold my cheeks up.

I bit down on that one wisdom tooth that's growing out in the back today and it hurt like crazy. I leaned against the inside of my cabinet next to my loaf of bread for five minutes with tears in my eyes looking like an idiot. Good thing no one saw me or else it would be another item for her to add to the list of why I'm strange. I need to get out of here I'm going to go insane. Should I get my wisdom tooth out? I can't decide.

This is random, but I really like heels. If it weren't for school I would go around everywhere in heels. It makes people look clean. I like clean (guys in dress shirts are my weakness). Too bad biking in heels would be ridiculous. The people that do it look like idiots. Especially if they're wearing mini skirts so you can see their black jeweled thongs while they're biking. Anyway what was my point? Oh, I was going to say I was looking into my closet and I realized that I have a lot of sneakers. I wonder why I was so obsessed in High School... well, I guess it's useful now. Bringing nine pairs here is a bit excessive, but whatever.

I still don't know how I feel about 2NE1. Fire is pretty catchy. I guess I like Sandara because she's funny and her hair in the video was just strange; it looked like there was a tree coming out of her head. Everyone else seems kind of creepy to me, but at the same time it could be because YG had them dress up like punk/gangster whatnots. Why am I analyzing k-pop instead of Prometheus? I'll do the essay later... or tomorrow before I go to Chem... sooo lazy and not in the mood.

Why is it already going to be Monday tomorrow?

I'm going blind... oh my gosh (you guessed right, I did look at a mirror) :(

This is exhausting, guys. Anyone want to adopt me? I'll sleep at the foot of your bed, you won't even notice me ;)

run & dance at 3am <3

Awkward...

I just picked up two cat hairs off of my carpet. Guess who's not happy?

I think I've gotten to the point in which I have a permanent giant bags under my eyes. Perfect for Black Friday shopping (I am well aware how lame I am, but I know you guys accept me for who I am so I'm going to continue). Hopefully I can sleep this off over Thanksgiving. That and these stupid pimples that keep bursting out of my face for no apparent reason. Given, it's a lot better than last year. I think that means I can handle school stress better than people stress.

The Statistics scores are back already. I decided that I would just go there and wing it because I've been too exhausted to study. Funny thing is, I got a better score on this one than I did last midterm in which I studied two hours beforehand. Then again, that class is a joke, so whatever feather. Com is pretty ridiculous too. For some miraculous reason teachers seem to like my BS essays. I guess that's a good thing. No complaints from me.

I love awkward moments. Not when I'm in them, but when I'm watching them or insinuating them. What I mean is lately I've adapted this phrase into my speech, "because you love me." I swear it's the funniest thing watching/hearing peoples' reactions. A typical conversation will go some thing like this...

"blah blah blah...yeah but why?"

"Umm... because you love me"

And the best response I've gotten from this was --long pause & dirty glare-- "Ew. Anyways what I was saying was blah blah..." Completely ignored. Then the second best response was "Only on days that end in a -y." Aww cute :). I have such ridiculous friends. I do love you all, you know. I can type it easily. I just think this scenario is funny because I can't respond to this line either. At least I can't if I do. I can say 143 to a complete stranger, but not someone I actually love. Strange right? That's kind of how I roll. If I ever tell you that I love you, you know either 1. I am drunk off of sleep deprivation or 2. I don't love you. Then if I do love you I'll probably just come up with some witty comment drenched in sarcasm and change the subject, avoiding awkward moments at all costs. I think the most awkward response I've given to this was "thank you." I know, that's pretty bad right?

Which reminds me something really awkward happened at the gym last night-- well "gym." I finished running up the Alpines (at least that's what the treadmill said) and I was sitting down pulling these cable weights when this random lady says, "Wow, give me your legs." I didn't know how to respond to this. How awkward and creepy. I kind of just laughed it off and told her that my thighs were like elephant thighs, so she wouldn't want them. Seriously though, if only my thighs were as skinny as YoonA's and since I'm dreaming can I have arms that don't jiggle as well?

Anyways, I really need to cut my bangs they're getting ridiculous and they've started eating my face. Also, I've decided that I'm going to let my hair grow out again, but there are no guarantees because you know how I can never resist cutting them... especially after I bought those layering scissors. Honestly though, I could not care less whether it's long or short. Either way, my level of attractiveness is still at zero. However, if it's short I save shampoo, which then equates to saving more money that I can subsequently waste on overpriced clothing in the future.

pick up hairs & bake <3

Say cheese

I better not be getting sick, but I wouldn't be surprised. 1. because it's unreasonably cold and 2. because last time I got sick was junior year, high school... remember how bad that was though? Really I felt like dying this morning, then again it could have been because of no sleep due to the fact that I drank too much tea. This is probably why I act like such a psycho at 7:30am. I wonder how it feels to be in a lab with me at that time. Thinking about it exhausts me.

Sigh. That's what I feel lately. Just, sigh. Sigh because my phone is failing me, my plan ends in a month, and there are still no good phones out (I really just want a flip phone, more specifically Blackberry Pearl Flip and in silver preferably, but at the same time everyone's balls keep breaking... ha-ha real mature, come on you guys know what I'm talking about). Sigh because I've been trying to wash my car every weekend, yet every weekend it rains. Sigh because this weekend is going to suck. And sigh because I walk around with this permanent smile plastered on my face when these past few days I've really been wanting to scream. You know what I feel? I feel like the greater my magnitude of unhappiness, the more I tend to laugh and joke around; it's just no one can tell the difference because I laugh and joke around a lot normally anyway. Life is better happy, agreed? (even if it's deceptive happiness... fooling yourself is pretty difficult). But as hard as you try you can't possibly be (truly) happy every moment of every day. Nothing can cure sigh days except baking. What's problematic is the fact that I'm never in the mood to eat anything I bake.

And what the heck man, why does every movie have to have that name in it. Not just one movie, but EVERY SINGLE ONE that I've watched in the past... month or so (which really totals to about... 4/5). What the heck man, I'm trying to forget about this dumb thing. Stupid Hollywood cinema; curse you, I'm trying to convince myself that I'm okay here and you're not helping the situation. Stupid movies. The next movie I watch will be an alien movie where the main character's name is Xylitol (yeah right... you guys know I don't watch that crap).

You know what? I found out that it is very easy to lure me out of the house. You guys might think this is impossible, but it's only because you guys aren't using the right methods. The only thing that could possibly drag me away from studying or music is the one and only, Pinkberry (ahem... or a huge sale at BR). I would probably go out with a stranger if they said they were going to go to Pinkberry. This is bad. Bad, bad, bad.

That freaking cat is going crazy. It's running around everywhere and head-butting my door. I hate cats, wow. All they do is get hair everywhere. So useless --it doesn't even eat the bugs. If that thing comes in here I swear someone will be eating cat sushi tonight.

Sometimes I don't understand myself. I don't understand why I can't trust people. I've been trying, but then it's always back into my little shell where only a handful of people are allowed to enter (hey the world can be a dangerous place). Being the pessimist that I am I don't see the point of crossing the street if I'm just going to get run over by a some drunk farmer with a tractor. What I mean is I feel like I'm in a good position, I have my 'people' already, but at the same time I'm curious about whether or not there are any other good people out there. I think what I need is for someone to prove me wrong. I need to meet someone that proves to me that not everyone is fake or bad (or anything with a negative connotation, really), and then maybe I'll start believing again. Anyway, sorry. That was a bit morbid. I've been thinking too much... again. Everyone is so far away there's no one here to slap some sense into me and tell me to stop thinking.

write essays & eat mints <3

iLike

I realized that the only thing that I do in my blogs is whine about things that bother me and things I hate, so I decided to switch it up today and talk about things that I like instead. By the way, I managed to get all of the classes I need, so life is good. I have decided to not kill myself. 19 units this quarter was a bit much.

I like... Trident minty sweet twist, laughing, dark chocolate (especially if it's been in the freezer), Tiramisu cake, strawberry glaze pie from Marie Callendar's, the smell of the rain (the word for this is petrichor if anyone was wondering), singing in the shower, old people holding hands after surgery walking towards their car, white chip macadamia nut cookies, hospital jello (I know this is weird, but it tastes surprisingly good), getting letters/packages in the mail, laughing at people that can't parallel park or reverse park, free shirts, Banana Pinkberry & Sony, dress shirts & formal attire, watching drunk people throw up while laying in the middle of parking lots, bras that are comfortable, giving Eliza's dogs extra treats when she's not looking, Charmin ultra soft toilet paper, my grandma, grandpa and aunts, rubber bands that don't break (I cannot stand those flimsy blue ones, they're driving me insane), blasting music when no one is around, speeding on the freeway at 2am and my friends (of course a mere "like" wouldn't begin to describe what I think about you guys, it's not like this is Facebook).

I like it when... people are nice, people call you for no reason just to say what's up, you wake up and think it's going to be a crappy day, but the minute you go outside the sun is shining and everything seems alright, people respond to text right when I text them and answer their phones when I call them (that is, essentially what a phone is for right?), people are crazy and random, people don't "get it on" in my room, I reach into my sock drawer and pick out two socks that match on the first try, people are honest and not self-centered, people pick up their own hair and clean up their own messes, strangers smile as they pass you in the hallway (this is meant to be non-creepy... hopefully you guys understand where I'm coming from), people remember random details about my life, people aren't fake and do the "Heyyyyyy! How are youu?" thing when clearly they could not care less how you are, I come back to my room and it's not 0 degrees in the house, people make me laugh so hard that I can't breathe, people don't play games (I don't mean board games here... I mean the social games, I cannot stand people that do the whole ignoring thing; drives me insane), people that will help you pick things up when you drop them (of course if they're the ones that threw it on the ground in the first place it doesn't count), people understand me, and finally people that are able to put up with my insanity.

I think that's about all I like. I'm sure there's more, but my brain isn't really functioning right now. I really need to pee.

drink tea & mop floors <3

Nasty things

Yes. I am procrastinating again. I really don't want to study for Friday because I don't care about those classes. My pass time is tomorrow and I've been wondering what I would do if I missed it. What if I didn't go to school next quarter? What if I don't want to? Well, I don't have a choice, so I'll be a good kid and not get any crazy ideas in my mind.

I'm so sad. My necklace broke. I feel naked. Excuse to buy a new one? Tiffany's anyone?

I almost died laughing today. Tears were literally rolling down my face as I was grabbing my stomach. This fool is too funny what would I do without her. For one I would have gone crazy already in this mad house. Ah, I'm so grateful.

I screamed in the shower today because I thought my hair tie was a bug. So many bugs everywhere. Apparently there was a grasshopper in our house yesterday while I was gone (thankfully) and M killed it. We have a policy here, that is: whoever sees the bug has to kill it, and that is precisely why I walk around with my eyes closed :) and perhaps that is also the reason behind my abundance of injuries (burned my finger making toast again and ran into the wall on the way to the bathroom; you know, it was dark... just saying). And also all we do in Biology is touch bugs, what's up with that? When I say "we" touch bugs I mean I make my wonderful amazing lab partner/s touch them. I know, I'm horrible, but they're so nasty. Thank goodness I found someone that's willing to deal with my ridiculous-ness.

Oh! I almost forgot to talk about the most important thing... I found Pinkberry! Okay-- no, that's a lie. My wonderful amazing bug touching lab partner had to show me where it was. What can I say? I really suck at downtowns... I've gotten lost at every single "downtown" there is in California. I'm not retarded I swear, it's confusing. Did you guys know they let you take home pints of yogurt now? This is bad. This is really bad. I'm pretty sure the past summer half of my money went to Pinkberry (and the other half went to Banana Republic, ha). I really do want more clothes though. I say that, but I already spent $80 dollars at BR this weekend. Hey, as an excuse I had a 30% off coupon, so don't be too disappointed in me.

Just found out something disappointing. This weekend is going to be bad. Someone save me.

exterminate & air freshen <3

Rats

Haven't updated in a while again. But, you guys should be happy for me if you see that. It means that I'm not procrastinating.

Last night we did laundry at 4AM. It was super windy and I thought I was going to get blown away (for the wind to be able to blow me away... you know it must have been bad). Anyway, instead of studying this weekend I watched When In Rome and Eat, Pray, Love with M because we felt like it. WIR was super cute and I think everyone should watch it. Like I've said before... Josh Duhamel is amazingly good looking. He's kind of like a mix of Leonardo DiCaprio and Matt Damon. I guess Kristin Bell is alright too (don't understand why she did Veronica Mars though, how demeaning... and yet my freshman literature teacher was obsessed with that show). EPL was just... alright. I don't understand what all the hype was about though... I mean, the story line was decent (until SPOILER the end when she decides to settle down with the ugly guy).

Then yesterday while we were doing laundry M decided to scare the crap out of me. All of the lights were off and I had to go pee. I left my room light on, but I closed the door (it's become habit now because of that stupid cat). After I got out of the bathroom and began walking to my room a giant rat ran out across the floor right in front of my feet-- or so I thought. Stupid M took the towel I used to wash my car and waved it in front of me in the dark. I screamed like a little school girl. What a butt hole. She says the best time to scare me is when I'm paranoid. True, but given the fact that there are so many random critters here you would be scared of everything that moves as well. I had it coming though, I try to scare her all the time. Karma.

Wow it's so cold. Why can't... Wonderful. Fml... as usual. AND ALSO why am I so useless?! Why don't I just say something? Bah. I suck.

drop salad & cut hair <3

So done

Finally done with midterms-- not. Two more on Friday again next week and then Thanksgiving. Freaking thank goodness man, I could use a break. Well, done with the bigs ones at least. If there's anything to be thankful for it would be that.

Being the idiot that I am I went swimming today. That was probably the stupidest decision that I have ever made in quite some time. I thought that if I went at five then it would be okay to swim. Wow, was I wrong. It was so cold that it hurt. I forced myself to stay in for around 45 minutes but I seriously could not last the whole hour. I didn't know that swimming in cold water could get this cold. Everything hurts... you know what I mean? Like when you stick your hand in ice water for 10 minutes and you take it out it hurts. Kind of like that, but all over. As of now, I'm wearing 4 jackets, 3 pants and wrapped a blanket, yet I'm still having difficulty typing. So as a "learn from my stupidity" lesson of the day: do not swim in sub-zero weather, you will literally freeze your boobs/man boobs off. I'm never doing this again. Patience is a virtue... I'll wait until spring.

The other day I was biking and there was some girl biking in front of me. Being the fortunate person that I am, the girl started biking faster and a rock went around her wheel, through her fender, and launched right at me. I thought it was going to hit my face, but no. The rock decided to go right into the little space between my large jacket and my shirt. Of all places-- I swear there was only about 4 in^2 for her to fling the rock into my shirt, but she did it. I need some good luck up in here. I wish I had a leprechaun... then maybe I could find a pot of gold, get rich, quit school, and play music for the rest of my life. That would be amazing. Ha. I can keep dreaming right?

Just so you guys know, I did eventually finish that essay that I kept procrastinating on. I was going to put it off for the morning, but decided I didn't want to get up, so I did it in the 20 minutes before I went to sleep. You know me, living life on the edge and whatnot... that's the overstatement of the year.

Who's going to be back for turkey day? I'll be there for a day so let me know :) I miss my homies.

buy groceries & eat carrots <3

Falling

I'm not too sure what's been going on with me lately. I think this is what testing does to me. Last night I was studying and I got up to go to the bathroom and when I got out of my bed, I stepped on a pile of papers, tripped, and fell face flat on the ground (this was around 2am). Hopefully, I didn't wake anyone up... I'm pretty sure our creepy neighbors heard me though. Then as I was walking to the bathroom (which is a mere 5 feet away from my room) I hit my head on the wall and started laughing because it was getting a bit ridiculous.

Today when I went to school I was trying to get onto my bike, but I failed at life and I was wobbling around like one of those people on cruiser bikes that I'm always complaining about, almost causing an accident, but thank goodness the girl that was approaching from behind swerved to the left. Of course after, she turned around and gave me a dirty look... and I liked it. Okay, no I didn't like it, but I understood. I'm pretty sure I would have given myself a dirty took as well if I were in her position. Blah blah blah and the day went on as such, except something changed today... I didn't fall asleep in COM. Amazing right? But, the only reason why I didn't fall asleep in COM was because she asked me an embarrassing question before class today, "Why are you always so tired?" --my gosh thank goodness my face isn't that pale or else she would have seen that I was blushing like heck. I didn't know that she realized that I'm asleep all the time... I've always thought that I was pretty crafty about sleeping in class. Ahh freak. I just told her that by the time COM class comes around I feel like I've run a marathon. She was pretty nice. She smiled and said, "Tell me about it!" Which made me feel better, but now I feel really guilty and I've decided that I'll try harder to not fall asleep in that class anymore. I decided not to go to Stats today because I want to eat dinner (more like a linner? lunner? what would you call this?) before my internship and I biked back to the parking lot and put my bike into the elevator and pressed 3. I don't know why or what happened, but I stumbled and I completely fell down on top of my bike like an idiot. I managed to compose myself before the door opened. Embarrassing moment avoided :) that's how I do it.

What's the conclusion here? Joanna + midterms = delirium, quite frankly I'm a hazard to my own safety... what's weird is the fact that this only happens when no one else is around-- and also, I don't know why, but I've been laughing at everything too or I'll be sitting in class and I'll suddenly start laughing because I think about something funny. As usual I probably look like some psycho. Shouldn't I be used to this by now?

Man... I really need to write that essay... you know how I keep saying this? When you know you can get something done in 30 minutes, you put it off and put it off. I don't understand myself sometimes. It's probably for the adrenaline rush >:)

eat grapefruit & drive 90 <3

I give up

I woke up in the morning realizing that I had fallen asleep next to a box of colorful molecules with a -fac isomer in my hand. That should accurately describe my current state of being. But I think forcing myself to stay awake until I understood isomers was the smartest decision I've made in a while. No one understands it though, I've asked six people. I wonder what the curve is going to be like. Hopefully amazing.

Did anyone see the new playfirst game? They're so ridiculous, I can't believe they release it right now when I'm midterm-ing. I'm so obsessed with the dash series. I bought diner dash, wedding dash, and cooking dash already, I must add hotel dash to my collection. I need to keep my finger off the "buy" button or I'm going to fail all of my midterms.

You know there are some really mean people out there. I don't appreciate that. I wish I could round them up and throw them off a cliff. That would make the world a better place. Haha-- if only life were that simple right? Anyway, I have another headache so I'm about to go take some more tylenol and then resume studying. Pink's "Like a Pill" should be a theme song to my life. I don't understand why I get so many headaches.

eat yogurt & study <3

Crazy camel

"Joanna, if people that don't know you read your blogs, they're going to get the wrong idea and think you're some overly-sarcastic, cynical, bitter, antisocial, nut-job" "...and?" "And as much as it pains me to say this, you're actually one of the few normal people out there" That was probably the nicest thing you've said to me in all my life. I'm so touched. I was wondering if this was true or not and I went back and re-read a few of my posts. I've got to admit, I'm kind of crazier than I am in real life (if that's even possible). But like I've said, this blog is like my trashcan; I empty my brain here. I guess I assume the only people reading are my friends... I hope I'm not wrong because it's really creepy to think otherwise.

I woke up this morning and there were no clouds in the sky. The sun was out, it was beautiful, blah blah blah. I decided it seemed like a good day for shorts and a dress shirt. I walk outside and I feel like my right boob is going to freeze and fall off on the spot (don't get too excited kids), but I have no time to go back and grab a jacket. Cold, cold, cold. I felt naked for the whole day. Really, I should be used to this given the state of my apartment (err... I will provide no details on the internet call me or something). Anyway, although it was cold I still ended up eating cereal outside my COM class next to a dead pigeon. It was just there, dead. It looked like it fell out of the tree or something. When I saw it I screamed-- and then took a picture of it, but it turns out I didn't save it (I don't know why I always do this; story of my life). I was going to post it for you guys. What's strange is the fact that this is the second time I've eaten cereal next to a dead pigeon-- what the heck. Great, now everyone thinks that I deliberately stand next to carcasses when I eat food.

What on earth, apparently I bought a magnetic camel on eBay. Okay, why would I buy a magnetic camel on eBay. This is ridiculous. They sent me an email: Congratulations! You have won the auction for MAGNETIC CAMEL. Please remember to pay for this item within 3 days of original purchase. First of all eBay, I did not purchase a magnetic camel. Secondly, who in their right mind would buy a magnetic camel to begin with?! I've been on hold at their customer service department for the past 20 minutes. I'm considering just buying the dumb thing. Wow. $15.85 for a magnetic camel. Maybe I'll give it to someone as a birthday gift. Any takers?

Obviously, I'm procrastinating right now or I wouldn't be blogging. Actually, the thing is my Chemistry lab got cancelled today (I love veterans so much...), my COM class got let out early, and I decided that going to Stats was going to be useless. That means that for the first time this whole quarter I get to eat both lunch AND dinner on a Monday (it's usually neither... now remains the question of what to eat... and then I'll probably give up and not eat anything in the end anyway). Alright unfortunately it's time to get out of here and go to discussion like a good kid.

pick up hair & clean toilets <3

Just "lol"

I said I was going to stop blogging everyday and yet here I am... blogging nonetheless. I can't help it writing is fun (to some extent) and I want to tell you guys about what happened today because it was funny-- at least some of it was. And anyway, you know when I blog it means I'm procrastinating. :)

This morning at 8:00am a bird started pecking at the top corner of my room. I was trying to read from the mundane Chemistry book and I couldn't concentrate so I took a water bottle and tapped back. The bird responded and stopped for a while, but then started again. This cycle kept continuing until... well just now I guess. I guess it's just frustrating when you're trying to read something. You guys know what I mean right? Everything else can be done with distraction, but when you're trying to read and there's a distraction, the words don't get processed... kind of like when your suite mate accuses you of putting a piece of tape on the door and starts yelling and swearing at you (all in the past, all in the past; man I'm such a victim). You learn to tune it out. Anyway... I'm going to roast me a pigeon tonight. I don't even know if that bird is a pigeon, but I've never liked pigeons to begin with. They have little evil beady eyes and they defecate on everything (by saying this I don't mean that people that have little beady eyes are evil, I'm talking about birds... just thought I should clear that up because it's too easy to misinterpret my intentions over the internet).

I just got back from swimming. It was... typical. Snorted some water. Yep. No drugs for me, I got my chlorine. Actually I'm pretty sure they put soap in the pool because it doesn't smell like chlorine. Anyway, while my head was out of the water this guy in a giant winter/snow jacket passed by the pool with a basket of laundry and said, "Shi- you're crazy" and walked away. That was funny.

Umm... and here I am blogging in my swim suit (I can see you all vomiting in disgust, alright alright calm down I'll go put something on). I have a feeling tonight is going to be bad... if only... why does... ugh, so frustrating.

Ah whatever, life is easier to live through if you smile. :) THINK GOOD THOUGHTS.

eat cereal & smash berries <3

Ignored

So I wasn't going to update today because I should be studying for the ridiculous midterms on Friday and writing my COM paper... but since you brought this up yesterday (yeah you know who you are) when we were talking and I thought it was funny it seemed like the appropriate time to write about this.

Okay, don't you hate it when people see you, but pretend they don't see you? I'm literally laughing as I'm writing this because it's so funny. You guys know what I'm talking about right? When you either make eye contact with them and they turn away or if you see them look at you out of the corner of your eye and they deliberately look in the opposite direction or at the ground. Seriously some people are really bad at this and it makes me laugh. If people do this to me I usually sit there smiling and then I just stare at them looking at the ground because it's just so ridiculous. Horrible acting skills. They probably know that I'm looking at them too, but whatever. What's even funnier is the fact that although I hate it when people do this to me I do it too (only to this one guy in my Chemistry class though, because it's weird...) I've got to admit it's pretty useful. Sometimes this is understandable because there are some crazy people out there that I would rather not talk to (and I'm sure you guys know a couple of these people too... I know you're all thinking, "No, you're the only one..." yeah, yeah, I'm flattered). Oh, or there could be people that are intimidating to talk to... teachers and such, but that's when you pull out the phone and text like a madman (or woman) or have a fake phone call (warning: put your phone on silent first...). You know what I realize though is that people probably think that I'm ignoring them all the time mostly because I always have my noise cancelling earphones in and my sunglasses on. I'm not, I'm really not I assure you, but on a typical day I'm usually not paying attention to anything around me except for how curly and brown my Biology teacher's hair is and how many pimples are on my COM teacher's cheeks (dude... a lot; I tried counting, but ended up falling up asleep; I'm going to start a new trend, counting sheep is overrated).

Anyway, if you see me just say hi, poke me or something. The worst thing that can happen is that I'll talk to you (you wouldn't want that right?). I don't think anyone really does this to me (because my friends aren't ridiculous thank goodness), but I'm just saying if I see you doing this I'm going to laugh out loud by myself like an idiot, so don't embarrass me like that.

Okay, I've wasted enough time. I need to go give myself a facial and be productive. Don't stress out guys, everything will be okay in a just a few weeks.

toast bread & throw corn <3

Everything

So I realize that I haven't updated in around... a month which really isn't my style because it was supposed to be everyday, but with classes music and life in general here I am updating for the first time in November. Ridiculous. Sorry to fail you guys. I didn't even change my picture. I'm sick of my face I need to change it soon. Anyway, I'm probably not going to have time to update everyday anymore (as you guys might have guessed), but I'll probably post sporadically, so just keep checking back if you want to.

Okay, so here is what has been happening in my life. I go to class like a good child, I fall asleep in COM (everyday man, I don't understand how I can never sleep normally, but somehow I'm able to fall asleep when I'm bored to death... if only I could take my COM teacher, put her in my room at night and make her lecture to me to bore me to sleep), then of course labs, studying, and interning. That's the basis of my life at this moment.

I keep forgetting to eat. All the time. I mean I'll realize that I'm hungry (all the time) and then forget about it later on or think that I already ate and then just not eat. I'm pretty sure I'm not normal, but whatever I only eat enough to stay alive. I think I eat more when I'm on a diet than compared to when I'm not. Such a strange child I am. I need to have someone remind me. Hah, the other day my roommate asked me, "Hey did you eat dinner yet?" I responded, "What? Oh, right... dinner..." I look at the clock and it's 11:00pm. Fail.

There are freaking centipedes in my apartment. It's disgusting. The other day I had to have one of my roommates kill a centipede for me because like heck I'm touching that thing. We still haven't found the source, but they come in everyday and invade our living quarters. I don't understand why they would come in our place out of all the apartments here... I mean seriously, we don't even have enough food to feed ourselves.. at least I don't... I don't know about the rest of them, I have a lot of soap though. All of us are becoming super paranoid over these little wormy things. We keep thinking that we see them, freak out, and then realize that it's a leaf or a hair clip.

I've been swimming a lot mostly because I feel disgusting if I don't exercise in some way or another. The pool is never heated, but that's to be expected. It's kind of like swimming in Antarctica. Swimming and going to the dinky "gym" that has one treadmill, one elliptical, and a few weights. No one here works out anyway so it doesn't make any difference to me. OH! I forgot to mention that the people that live under us are really creepy, especially their son. He keeps staring at all of us and he runs up to our balcony for no reason. I swear he's like 5, but it's so uncomfortable.

I realized that I never told you guys about my internship. It's pretty amazing. I think I'm the only one that would enjoy this kind of stuff. It's so interesting to look at these people that have these crazy battle wounds. What have I seen so far? A whole leg cut open, a bone coming out of a leg, a boob (this hick lady forced me to look at her mastectomy boob), an open brain, and the list goes on (there are a lot of crazy drinkers and suicidal people too, so many that it's ridiculous, I just can't fathom why people why people would waste their lives like that). What's kind of disappointing is the fact that I haven't seen any cardiovascular patients yet and that's kind of the reason why I'm there. I wonder when I'm going to get upgraded to the OR.

I was singing and "dancing" (well, you guys know my dancing... more like awkward movement yeah?) while driving today and I think I accidentally winked at this middle aged man and he might have gotten the wrong idea because he kept staring at me and smiling. Maybe something is wrong with my eye, I seem to accidentally wink at people too often for it to be a coincidence. I should probably get that checked. Any optometrists to be out there (seriously I can feel my eyes getting worse and worse... nooo goodbye 20/20)?

How do I feel lately? Hmm, that's a tough one. I think the most accurate description would be happy, but sad. If that makes any sense... I'm such a paradox. Clearly I'm insane, but you all know that already.

The song of the day has got to be: Far East Movement - Rocketeer, mostly because if I could fly away I would. Up, up, here we go.

And that's the update for... the past month. Hope you all are doing well. :)

throw socks & lint roll <3