The End

Hello anyone that comes back every once in a while. It's been... a very long time.

I stopped blogging pretty much after I moved, but I just realized I never provided a comprehensive conclusion to this blog as it ended rather abruptly, so here it is. Looking back on my previous posts always makes me smile because I realize how much of an idiot I was back then--though not too much has changed in that sense--I'm still an idiot in my day to day, don't worry that will probably never change. It's nice to have everything documented as I'm hoping to prevent relapse.

My previous (and unhealthy) desperation to find/create something permanent resulted in me "grasping at straws" fumbling, stressing, and worrying over tumultuous relationships/friendships. I've realized that things that exist in my life should complement it instead of consuming it. Consumption is dangerous. It causes you to lose sight of other important aspects of life as life itself is dynamic and in order to feel fulfilled you have to create balance.

Nowadays, it's easier for me to love strangers that I don't know. No, this does not mean that I am an active member of sketchy dating websites or strip clubs. What I mean is that the less you know about someone, the easier it is to like them.

In a Disney movie magic type of way, I've always believed that it was feasible. I truly believed that if I tried hard enough by myself I would be able to create a sort of pseudo-family. Of course, I was wrong and previously I got upset because "I try so hard, so why...?!" , but I've recently realized that it's actually okay. People and things come and go like the wind, but now I've realized that that's okay too and it's just a part of life because we grow separately and it's unrealistic to expect that where people are in life is perfectly aligned with where you are. In the end, the people that you should want to stay in your life are the ones that you don't have to chase around and maybe the ones that have left will gradually make their way back at a later point in time.

I've learned how to give everything and to love everyone even if they're difficult. I've learned to let go of the past and to continuously give people chances even if they don't change. I've learned to speak with impact, compliment freely, and at every moment to choose to be happy and to spread that to everyone around me. It's interesting... that life is this absurd concept where we live it forward, but understand it backwards. I know that I still have a lot to learn. I'm continuously trying to improve and I hope that moving forward I will become a better version of myself every day.

I truly hope you are all doing well, are happy, and succeed in what you set out to do. If you randomly think of me send a text over or give me a call because I love to hear from people just to know they're alive. Otherwise, thanks for reading my thoughts about nothing over the past years, I hope I've been able to provide some form of entertainment for some of you, stay healthy, and I'll see you around!