Death

I don't know why I feel so empty. I feel like I tried so hard to make this work and now that I have it, it's not exactly what I wanted or well... it's not what I thought it would be. I think that's the thing about human nature. People always want and strive for the things that are difficult to obtain, but once they get them they want more or they realize that they want something different. Inability to obtain satisfaction. My stomach is turning in circles. I'm really sad. It's at these times that I realize I need to let go. Clinging onto things like this is unhealthy if everything I do feels like a futile effort.

There are things that are really annoying that you typically hate doing, but you're willing to do for certain people because you like them so much that it's not annoying anymore because you want to do it. When you realize that things that you used to think weren't annoying have become rather annoying, it may be time to re-evaluate your life. A wise person recently told me that I have to be pickier about my friends. I already think that I'm incredibly picky, but I agree. It's time to separate the carnations from the orchids. (If you don't get this... carnations are just okay, orchids are one of my favorites)

You can care for someone as much as you want in your mind, but in the end it doesn't matter unless you can express the way you feel with words or else they're never going to know. Everyone wants to know that they're loved. If you wait too long people are going to get frustrated and disappear.

People are nicer when you first meet them. Sigh. Surprise, surprise.