Danger

I think I like people that are able to do things without being asked. I hate it when I have to hint and hint at things and people are still too stupid to understand. I realize that I tend to gravitate towards people that can read me and my emotions without me having to lay it out for them because I can't and don't tell people things directly.

On another note... I got sent an email to buy a retractable ninja sword. That's always fun.

I'm chicken sitting again. Grown chickens are not very cute. Soybean was playing with a leaf and my friend's chicken ran up and started chasing him. What kind of dog gets chased by a chicken? Pathetic. Though I guess if pets are supposed to be like their owners... I get chased by spiders, so I shouldn't be talking.

보고싶다. 십육일.

Danish

A vacation is only a vacation because of the people and not the destination. A while ago I went on a family vacation for a week and all I felt was stress and I wanted to go home every day. Then a few weeks ago I went camping with my friend for a few days and I was so relaxed it was unbelievable. Last Friday I was with my crew doing nothing the whole day and it felt like I had been on vacation for a month. In that case, I think it would make more sense to grab a good friend and some red wine and just sit on a lawn somewhere rather than fly off to the Maldives with someone that's just okay. Actually... maybe the Maldives are an exception. I mean, how can you say no to this? I would even go with a pedophile if I had to.

Old people and paper time.

Damage

I was randomly thinking about this the other day, but you know when you start driving and people tell you to always look out for pedestrians because they're unpredictable and they may jump out into the streets spontaneously? Realistically, this isn't going to happen because I mean... how many times do you see people flinging themselves into the middle of the road. They used to always point and say, "WATCH OUT FOR THAT MAN!!" Of course, I would always respond by rolling my eyes, but now that I think about it this could be more likely than I once thought. I'm only saying this because recently as I walk on the sidewalk I feel a strong desire to jump out into the street to scare people. I wonder if this has anything to do with me being in a constant state of mid-life crisis...

Are you guys sick of my Korean music yet? I really try to post less, but it's difficult because I don't like any of the new English songs and everything in Mandarin is a ballad. I just want something with a beat. Sheesh. Too much to ask for? If you guys ever hear anything good, send it over. Good songs are always appreciated.

Death

I don't know why I feel so empty. I feel like I tried so hard to make this work and now that I have it, it's not exactly what I wanted or well... it's not what I thought it would be. I think that's the thing about human nature. People always want and strive for the things that are difficult to obtain, but once they get them they want more or they realize that they want something different. Inability to obtain satisfaction. My stomach is turning in circles. I'm really sad. It's at these times that I realize I need to let go. Clinging onto things like this is unhealthy if everything I do feels like a futile effort.

There are things that are really annoying that you typically hate doing, but you're willing to do for certain people because you like them so much that it's not annoying anymore because you want to do it. When you realize that things that you used to think weren't annoying have become rather annoying, it may be time to re-evaluate your life. A wise person recently told me that I have to be pickier about my friends. I already think that I'm incredibly picky, but I agree. It's time to separate the carnations from the orchids. (If you don't get this... carnations are just okay, orchids are one of my favorites)

You can care for someone as much as you want in your mind, but in the end it doesn't matter unless you can express the way you feel with words or else they're never going to know. Everyone wants to know that they're loved. If you wait too long people are going to get frustrated and disappear.

People are nicer when you first meet them. Sigh. Surprise, surprise.

Dance

Life. Exhausted. The past few days have been a complete blur. I woke up really freaked out this morning because I thought it was August already and I haven't made a decision yet. Though... I guess it's not that far from August. Sigh. This is causing me so much distress... let's change the subject.

I went hiking the other day with a booger at 3:30am. It was completely ridiculous. We were both scared out of our minds because it was dark, we didn't have flashlights, and we kept hearing odd ruffling noises that we later identified as wild turkeys, cows, or little birds. Because we were frightened we waited for a few people to pass us on the trail. A group of eight hikers passed by followed by a strange couple as we sat on a wet bench looking like two creepy ax murderers out of some horror movie. The booger turned to me and said, "I feel better now that we have ten sacrifices." So true. Our plan was to run down the mountain at the first sight of a dead body. Thankfully, that wasn't necessary. We got to the top at around 5:30am and sunrise was at 6:00am. Below is what sunrise on top of a mountain looks like. I have now spared you all the pain and suffering of hiking at a ridiculous time. You're welcome. I'm complaining because I'm an old lady, but to be honest the view was amazing and it's not something that can be captured by a mere photograph or video. Anyway, nearly all of my cells died after that hike, so this week is devoted to cellular regeneration. I say that, but my cells are still dying because I'm in turmoil.

Demolish

Quick post for now. I've clearly been neglecting my blog these days, so I'll make up for it somehow. Probably either by being more entertaining than usual or posting more frequently.

It's possible to love someone, but not trust them. Trusting people with your heart is dangerous, but if you're able to it's also one of the happiest feelings in the world.

Delinquent

There was supposed to be a lake here, but it was dried up. I suppose this shouldn't have been surprising given it is the middle of summer. Still pretty though. :)

I feel like I'm in the era of Romanticism because I keep running off to nature. I think Edgar Allen Poe would like me.

This class is seriously really funny. I don't like talking unless I feel like something is wrong or I have something significant to say. There's no point in talking for the sake of talking as I don't particularly like the sound of my own voice. Anyway, I'll occasionally raise a finger to contribute something insightful, but only if it's incredibly profound and I can make everyone "ooh and ahh" and nod in agreement. It's just funny that the professor is constantly glancing at me and if she sees my hand raised she says, "Wait, stop--Joanna has something to say." How cute.

Dandelion

Is it wrong if I assume everyone is temporary unless they prove me wrong? There really aren't that many people that have proven to me that they're not temporary... In that case... why on Earth would I invest time in those types of people. No one has time for that--or well, I just don't really think it's necessary. I'm such a brat. I'm spoiled by my friends. I already have the best of the best, so I compare everyone to them and hardly anyone can live up to those expectations. 

I really like people that can tolerate me going to Guitar Center and not be completely annoyed. My friend went with me today after work because I wanted to stalk my guitar. I ended up getting into a jam session with someone that grabbed a nearby guitar and started playing along with me. It was so fun. What a huge ego boost. Clap clap clap. We should have opened up a guitar case, so that people could throw money in. :)

I don't remember if I blogged about them yet, but these two are great. This one is my ringtone. I know. I'm probably one of the very few strange people that blasts classical music on maximum volume.

Dent

Throwback time: Childhood story.

When I was younger there was this time I couldn't sleep at night, so I decided to explore the things in my room and came across this bottle of iodine:

Being the idiot I was, I decided to open this to examine the contents. I ended up spilling it all over myself and the blankets and I started crying because there was a skull on it and I thought I was going to die. I don't remember who caught me in this state, but they ended up telling me that if I died the next day they would take me to the doctor's office. For some reason that calmed me down. I was such a dumb kid. Nothing has changed.

I realize that I'm happier in the mornings not because it's the start of a new day and I've just woken up (because I don't sleep), but because no one has upset me yet. At the end of the day I'm usually thinking, "People are horrible."

Dementia

This made me laugh.

If you guys aren't already proud of being from the Bay Area here are some more reasons to be.

Sigh. What I notice about myself is that I really do take a lot of prodding or else I won't say things automatically. There really aren't that many people where I'll start talking away immediately about my life, how I feel, or what's bothering me. I'm frustrated because sometimes I really want to, but I just... can't.

Donut

I've been playing a lot of pool lately. My friends don't really do physical activity and it's incredibly hot these days, so hangouts are limited to indoor activities that either do not require movement or only need minimal movement. I used to play a lot of pool back in the day. It's almost as therapeutic as washing dishes naked while wearing high heels. I'm just kidding, no one needs to imagine that, but I do like washing dishes in general. 

Today was such a ridiculous day. You know those days when your heart is beating really fast because you're  over-caffeinated and trying to do 10,000 things at once, but you're not really sure whether or not you'll get them done? My life is like a boring action movie. Instead of going around saving the world and putting out bombs at the last second here I am running around faxing papers and changing membranes at the last second. 

Demographics

English is just beautiful bull----.
Science is bull---- that has to be proven by other bull---- (though I love this type of bull----).
Math and Physics are bull---- in general.
History is... truth.
Business is... scandal and money.

Good morning. -_-

Denial

I don't know what I've been doing recently. A whole lot of nothing. To tell you the truth, when I blog more frequently it typically means that I'm being productive. I know it seems almost paradoxical, but it makes sense in my mind. I've been contemplating buying a new guitar, which is always bad for my finances, so I'm trying to convince myself out of it. I'm trying to get other people to convince me out of it as well. I don't need anymore guitars, but wanting another one seems to be the constant state of affair.

Have you guys ever seen this? This is actually not the first time I've seen "Goodluck!" written on a chopstick cover. I wonder why this is? My friends and I hypothesized that it could either be 1. chopsticks are rather difficult to use (for the general public) or 2. those chopsticks were very crappy, so good luck avoiding splinters in not only your hands, but mouth as well. Either way, encouragement in life is always appreciated. I'll be back later.

Data

I have been stalking a spider for the past 19 minutes to no avail. This guy must be a descendant of Usain Bolt. I'm not going to be able to sleep until I kill this scumbag. The chase continues.

I got bitten twice by this one mosquito the other day and now my leg is so swollen it looks like I have edema and no right ankle. Choosing to run and increase blood flow probably didn't help the situation. I think I ate too much yesterday because when I was running today and it was very difficult for me to get up this one hill. I mean, I'm already always gasping for air, but this time I could feel my food baby dragging me down. I also sprained the same toe twice jumping off of my counter because I had to get something on the top shelf of the cabinet.

Stalking music. I'm going to get you, you damned spider.

Dowry

"...because I have to read Frankenstein"
"What?! You haven't read Frankenstein?!"
"Nope. Never had the chance. You have then?"
"...I've seen the movie. Hehe."

Soundrel! Anyway... I played billiards the other day and I realize how much I miss it. I used to play so much Freshman year. Actually, I guess I played/went out a lot Freshman year in general. After over-studying first quarter because people lied to me and told me how difficult college would be I found out that it wasn't actually necessary for A's because dumb people bring the curve down. Of course, the only time I could get away with not opening a single book was Freshman year. Now looking back at it I think I had a lot of fun even though I had such a crappy roommate and met a bunch of crappy people.

My theme song these days. :) I love running at night. 

Dollhouse

"I liked when you didn't have your car because I could keep you all to myself."

Excuse me, are you the gremlin that says "my precious" in that troll movie? I'm just kidding. I feel loved. You know, I've realized that I get along better with people that are honest with their feelings and initiate things. The first one is obvious, but the second one because then I feel like they care and I feel like I don't have to work as hard to maintain a one sided relationship, so everything will seem more sustainable overall. If I like someone enough I don't mind initiating things, but the problem with that is that eventually I'll get sick of doing all of the work and I'll stop initiating things, drift away, and disappear forever. It's so gradual that they won't even notice. I should work for James Bond.

This is a lot greener than it normally is. Should I be concerned? At least they spelled my name right. That's rare.