Wednesday

I saw bloody things today. It was exciting. I think from now on everyday I'll give a brief summary and then during the weekends I'll give you guys a real update.

It's surprisingly toasty in my room. I am happy. The bathroom is dirty again. I need to get gas.

the three & live <3

Hookey

I decided not to go to my discussion today. I just do literature homework in there anyways, it's kind of pointless. Yesterday night after lab I danced in the parking lot and three people walked by and saw me. Wonderful. I wonder if they're blind by now.

pick up hair & throw trash <3

Work it out

I really need to do some work. But before I do, I just thought I would share the fact that there are centipedes crawling through the vents of our apartment. Nasty things.

Also, it turns out my lab partner isn't that much of a douche. I actually kind of like him. He's nerdy and funny in a strange quirky way. Not to mention the fact that I made him dance when we were waiting for our water to boil. I think he just needed to come out of the "shell" that's all. That makes life easier. I mean if you're going to be stuck with someone for four hours, it's probably a good thing if you like them.

exterminate & hit that <3>

Eskimo

It's freaking cold man. Inside and out. This must mean I need to increase my surface area to volume ratio. Just kidding (although it's true). Sorry, I get like this when midterms come. I start studying and I begin relating everything school wise to everything life wise. If that made any sense at all...

I hate it when...

Sigh. Mondays.

bleed & cry <3

This is me

So I guess this is the question: What have I been doing with my life lately? In all honesty, I don't really know what I've been doing myself. Pretty much just wasting my life and not studying for midterms. Of course, I can't do that this week. It's Chemistry and Biology on the same day (Friday to be exact). As usual, I started studying already and everything is going according to plan... I suppose.

Physically I am at school, doing all of the work, understanding (to some extent), and regurgitating on the exams, but mentally I don't feel like I'm here at all. I'm hardly ever actually thinking about any class in particular. I guess that would mean that I have other things on my mind. Before you get too excited, no it's not a guy. It's one of those life things. You know what I mean? Anyway, no one cares about this part of my life so let me move on.

Yesterday I went back because my Macbook arrived (although I hate Apple and Macs and as much as I don't want to admit it, Garageband is amazing). I drove a total of five hours plus because there was so much traffic. It was pretty ridiculous because there was traffic both ways. I only expected there to be traffic on the way back because I left during rush hour (smart move Joanna), but on the way back to school there was a car accident and several police and firemen were at the scene. When I took a closer look at what happened it was as such: the driver of the car drove up a hill (you know those dry grassy hill things on the side of the road?), bashed into it and totaled his/her car. The guy/girl must have either been drunk, high, or extremely tired because the whole front part of the car was caved in, all the way to the driver's seat. Pretty intense right? That scared me... yet I continued driving 80-90 after the traffic stopped. What can I say, born to race. Yeah right...

I haven't been getting much sleep lately, which is problematic because midterms are going on right now. It's not that I don't want to sleep because trust me I would sleep almost anywhere at this moment, but it's rather because something always impedes my sleep. Cold, noise, light, door-slamming, pots and pans, and you wonder how I'm alive when I'm averaging around 1-2 hours of sleep every night. Oh well, that's what happens when you decide to... it's my own fault for wanting this anyway. Thursday night (more like Friday morning) was horrible. I will leave it at that. You want details then ask me on something not as public.

persuade & duplicate <3

Yakusoku

Okay I seriously have a lot to tell you guys. I promise to do a real update on Sunday. Then again it's not like I can say anything that I want to say on here. I pretty much spent the whole day driving, but I got my Mac. Five hours for a Mac? I don't really think that was worth it. Whatever. I need to get more sleep. For real, I'll update tomorrow. Promise.

strawberry pie & fruits <3

Tomorrow

Tomorrow.

blah.

Useless

Wow I'm pretty useless. I just played piano all day and probably bothered the heck out of my roommate. So much for studying for my midterm on Friday. But... I've got to say... I actually like this one.

Okay... time to sleep I guess. Haha so useless.

listen & yo mama <3

Emo

Blahhhhh. So emotional these past few days (no monthly curse).

Last night I was really angry... and cold for that matter. I hate it when I only get one hour of sleep. It makes me an unpleasant person to be around. This really makes me contemplate moving out after the end of the lease. It would be kind of nice to have my own place, but at the same time I need to stop being so antisocial (it's a work in progress, guys-- baby steps). Someone called my phone at around 6:30am and it turned out that it was a wrong number (go figure, I have no friends to call my phone anyway... wait why do I even have one again?). Unfortunately, after that rude awakening I wasn't able to go back to sleep. I managed to lie in bed for another five minutes until I finally decided to get up and stick a piece of bread in my toaster oven, only to semi burn it minutes afterwards. That made me depressed. I know it's ridiculous that bread can alter emotions, but no one wants to eat an overly toasted piece of bread.

I went to discussion this afternoon and I spent ten minutes trying to find parking. I had to go all the way to the rooftop. Needless to say, it wasn't too pleasant either. Then some creeper guy kept staring at me in discussion. I really wanted to scream WHAT?! and glare at him, but that goes against my return to being more open to other people. I smiled awkwardly... maybe he misunderstood my smile. I should practice in front of the mirror or something.

Got back to the apartment, went to the mini gym, then went back to the apartment. I hate how Youtube has that sidebar of suggested videos or the recommended videos that they show you on the homepage. This always leads to me getting carried away. Anyway, I listened to a song and started crying. Of course I didn't cry too loud or else everyone would have heard me... but I thought that it really applied to my life. Essentially that's what music is-- cross cultural, universal language. If I had the ability to... anyway, I should get to work.

Final advice for the day: Do not procrastinate on reading. You can procrastinate on everything else, but do not procrastinate on reading. Hope all of your midterms/exams are going well.

recycle & pick up hair <3

Nasty water

Today I was stalked by some creepy guy in my Com class again. He keeps trying to sit next to me when I just wanted to be left alone. Maybe I should be more friendly... not to creepers though, that's my limit.

So for once in my life Chemistry has proved to be pretty useful. Today we were testing ions in water and I've we all came to the conclusion that the tap water here is unsanitary. The lab manual then went on to say that the water around here has too many minerals and chemicals in it and advises us not to drink or use the tap water for ingestion. Then comes the revolutionary line: the stain that can be found in your bathtub is due to the water. Oh my gosh. No wonder why it won't ever wash off. Here I thought I was just a lousy housekeeper. That makes me feel so much better; yet, disgusted at the same time.

I'm not planning on going to sleep until three or four. I'm supposed to be being productive, but we all know how that turns out when I have a piano and a guitar within reach. Augh I really want GarageBand guys, what do I do? I've put the Macbook into my cart and filled everything out 3 times already. I'm afraid next time I'll press the process order button. No! Must resist temptations.

Tomorrow when you guys go out play this game: look around at everyone you pass and count the number of people that are better looking than you are. Be honest. It's actually pretty fun... that is it would be if I didn't have to count to over 3000 every day.

facial mask & blast music <3

Death

This is what I get for procrastinating on Com. It's just when classes are ridiculously stupid you don't want to put any effort into them. Sheesh.

Good luck on midterms this week everyone.

work hard & eat sandwiches <3

Yadada

1. Went to the dentist. No cavities... win!

2. Took my cousins to see Alpha and Omega in 3D. It was cute, but not worth the money.

3. Went to Subway. The sandwich maker probably hated me because I ordered four complicated sandwiches (no I did not eat them all, geez you guys). He kept rolling his eyes at me.

4. Procrastinated on homework.

5. Played music.

6. Still playing music and also doing #4 at the same time.

7. Updated my first generation shuffle (I can't believe this has been working for five years... it's quite amazing actually... maybe it's the fact that it's one of the first few products that apple made.

I've been contemplating on buying a Macbook. I know this is crazy and I know this goes against everything that I believe in and tell you guys and I know this makes me the biggest hypocrite on the face of the planet, but I really want Garageband 2 and they don't make it for PC's. I know it's crazy to get another laptop when I already have one (my junk laptop doesn't count), but audio workstations for PC's cost 700 dollars anyways, so I figure I might as well pay another 300 and just get a Macbook that way I can separate music and school stuff (I don't trust apple with my important school documents... knowing Steve Jobs he'll probably eat my homework). Anyone with me? Didn't think so. Trust me I hate myself for even thinking about this. I don't know I'm going to have to ponder on this a while longer... Please someone talk me out of this. S.O.S. Hansol is too busy with design projects to stop me from online shopping.

jump & buy <3

Update

Greetings. So I have a dentist appointment this weekend which means that I'm going to go back.

Let's see what has been going on at my house this past week? Well... there have been monstrous amounts of ants and it felt like for a while me and my roommate were out killing ants everyday. Anyway, we call each other the dirty housekeepers now because we take out the trash/recycling, clean the kitchen, vacuum the floor (well, she vacuums the floor), clean the bathrooms, etc. Whatever, I really don't care I just don't like living in a dirty environment. I also don't like cats. Unfortunately, that stupid cat keeps going into my room when I'm not looking. I have a habit to not close the door all the way because I hate things that make loud noises. Then when I'm not looking that dumb cat sneaks in and then I have to lint roll the floor because it sheds as it walks. Freaking cat.

I think I give up on the bathroom though. I bleached everything inside, wiped down all the mirrors, wiped up the dust around the sink and on the counter top, picked up all the hairs on the ground, and then a week passes and everything is back to the dirty state. Not to mention there was bloody pee under the toilet seat. Wonderful. I don't understand. I'm frustrated at unsanitary things. Ugh my car is dirty too...

You know, what's wrong with me? (okay I know the list is endless, but stay with me for a second) After everything that has happened in my past experiences I find it really hard to trust people. This is a problem. What if someone amazing shows up, but I'm too busy building up my wall to let them in? Recently I've been thinking about this and I realize that the reason why I don't have any (or many) friends here is because I haven't been wanting any. I don't put any effort into talking to people and if I see someone that I have previously seen or interacted with I run away or pretend I'm really concentrated on texting someone when more often then not I'm looking at a previous text message. Heck, just the other day I saw this girl from my Biology lab and I hid behind a bush and played Skyburger on my iPod until she walked away. It's not that I don't like her... I don't know, I have problems. I guess essentially I'm afraid to get too close to anyone. I'm a soft person by nature and for the past eight years I've been trying to reverse that. Now I realize that I've morphed myself into some sort of robotic person that really isn't who I am. So, recently I've been trying really hard to break the barrier that I put up for myself. I've been talking to people. Surprising right? I bet all of your mouths are open right now. I'm learning.

School wise life has been alright. My brain is in school mode, so everything is getting done; however, I feel as if I can't focus because I keep thinking about other things. Okay I just realized that the way I phrased this made it seem as if I was thinking about some guy. No, I'm not thinking about some guy, instead I've just been wondering a lot about my future. The whole "what I want to do" vs. "what I want to do more" vs. reality. Some times it's hard to accept and I wonder if I can break past reality and what I want to do in order to reach what I want to do the most. Everyone tells me it's never going to happen. I think they try to discourage me because they don't want me to get hurt if it doesn't happen. But when people tell me not to do something because they don't think I will succeed... it makes me want to prove them wrong. This whole paragraph has just been strange. I'm not ready to tell everyone what's going to happen, but my faithful readers (you guys..) will be the first to know when/if it does.. probably either the beginning of December or January. I'm so vague.

There are a lot of things... that I can't say here.

My aunt said I lost weight. Without even trying?! No way. Score! I suppose that's the only good part of school... the stress translates into weight loss.

By the way, if anyone was wondering... while I was biking today a giant black wasp few into me and hit the top of my head. I then proceeded to scream and perform dangerous maneuvers on my bicycle and nearly caused an accident. I ran away quickly before people had the chance to get mad at me. Dude... that thing was huge.

gain common sense & run <3

Your mom

Sorry I lied. I procrastinated on my com homework, so I must now suffer the consequences. I shall update tomorrow.

smell pillows & hit ants <3

LIke a bee6

I am a busy bee. Buzz. Biology pre-labs are killing me. Why would they expect you to know everything before the lab even happens? It just doesn't make sense to me. I think I'm stupid for taking 18 units.

I'm going to start Denise Austin's 28 day plan for losing 10 pounds around late October. I'll let you guys know how it goes. I'm currently reading and investigating.

I realized that I have a dentist appointment this weekend. Please let there be no cavities...

Sorry again. I'll update for real tomorrow when I have a bit more time.

read & facial mask <3

Go by

What did I do today? Nothing much. I sang, I played piano, I played guitar... you know, the usual. I cut up the other half of my watermelon and ended up eating a forth of it because it wouldn't fit into the container. Thus, I've been getting up to dispose of my liquid waste product every few minutes or so. Then after I ate the watermelon a giant bug landed on me. I screamed and my roommate killed it for me because she's awesome.

I'm thinking about going swimming in a bit. I've been feeling pretty lazy lately and I haven't exercised in two days. This is bad. Fat Joanna is going to come out to play again... oh no.

There are so many ants here you have no idea.

kill or be killed <3

Oreos

I never liked Oreo cookies until they came out with the mint kind. It kind of tastes like chocolate chip mint ice cream. Maybe that was their intention. I wonder who first put mint on chocolate. They must have been crazy. Crazy genius that is.

I don't know if it's just me or if this happens to anyone else. I can never get the stupid Oreo to split right in the middle. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. What I mean by this is having half the cream on one side and half the cream on the other side. It usually splits with all the cream on one side and no cream on the other side. Either that or I just fail at life because more often then not when I split an Oreo cookie it turns out like this: gently twist the cookie to ensure that it splits in hal-- dang it! Again?!

Did you guys know that they made Oreo sticks? I don't know how I feel about that. I think it defeats the purpose of the signature Oreo sandwich. Same with the whole Oreo "Cakesters" deal. It's a cookie what are you people doing? I say this, but in the past for about two months I was completely obsessed with Oreo cereal: Oreo O's (http://www.culturefreak.com/images/oreo_os.gif) . If you guys have never tried it I'm sorry to say that you have already missed out on life. I don't understand why it was so good, but it was. It could almost rival Reeces Puffs. Almost. I say this in the past tense because it's discontinued. Not sure why because it was delicious. Maybe it made children obese. Then again, everything in America makes children obese.

sweat & study <3

Genie

I really don't know what I've been doing lately. I'm not sure what to do with my life again. I always get this feeling at least once a year if not more. I just don't feel like school is going to take me anywhere. I always start doubting myself and it's hard to concentrate on anything. This is definitely not good because school just started a week ago. What am I doing?

Ideally you should do what you love and continue on that pathway for your future job, etc. I want to become a surgeon or some type of medical professional; however, at the same time I've had a passion for music all my life. Honestly, I would rather sing and play music until I die because that's what would make me happy, but I have never considered this option due to the fact that the road to a musician more often than not ends with the person living in a cardboard box. Although my love for music is greater than my love for Biology (I know, hard to believe right?) I would rather choose the road with a stable future because that's the kind of person I am. What I admire the most are the people that are out there fulfilling their passions and doing what they love even though it might mean that they will lead a future of debt and instability. They don't care how much they might suffer as long as they are able to do what they love. I can't do that. I'm too much of a chicken. I think it's funny when people admire my decision to become a doctor because in reality, I'm jealous. I look at those people and I wonder if I'll ever be happy like them.

Anyway, I say this because I'm sending a demo to Taiwan. It's probably not going to lead anywhere, but it just got me examining my life.

mope & learn <3

Bottles

Let's see where do I begin. From 7:00am in the morning I suppose. I went to my internship orientation and thought that I was going to get lost. Turns out I did alright. It just so happens that the roads near my internship are extremely confusing. Then again, every downtown area is confusing. Too many one way streets. One day I will probably get into an accident there... especially because my internship is at night. Anyway, the orientation wasn't too interesting so I'll spare you all the boring details.

Today I went with my roommate to Target and Safeway because I am out of food and I needed a lunch box. Well, being the fool I am (as usual) I forgot to buy the lunch box, which was my main purpose for going to Target. I guess I shall be starving once again on Mondays. This can't go on much longer or else I'm seriously going to faint. In addition to useless things, we bought Raid because our balcony is infested in ants. They're probably after the Coke and ice cream left outside. Fail. The Raid smelled pretty good though... lemon scented. I'm pretty sure it's not healthy to smell such things. After our shopping adventure we came back and I cooked dinner because my roommate payed for the Raid. Fried rice. Nom nom nom. Then I went to the gym at 11:30pm.

Overall, the day wasn't too exciting. I got my Chemistry reading done, which was surprising because I haven't been all too productive lately. Of course it could be worse... I could be that girl lying face flat in the parking lot. Oh yes, I failed to mention that a drunkard had been lying in the parking lot for the past hour or so... that is, until some guy went and picked her up. When I walked by her after working out I thought that she had fainted and was about to ask her if she needed help; however, when I was about to help she started getting up so I assumed she was okay. I mean, people do weird things one of them being lying around in random locations. A while later I looked out the window and saw a man help the girl up and take her to her house. Later when my roommate and I went out to do laundry we saw a large mound of vomit in the parking lot. Drunkard for sure. It was just funny because... seriously who lies face flat on asphalt? Idiot.

make pancakes & kill ants <3

Flyday

T.G.I.F. This internet is preventing me from doing things. They said it was fixed but... I've been trying to watch this episode of CSI for the past four hours. Fail.

Let's see... today after classes I was going to come back, be productive, and blah blah. Well, I failed at that because I saw that all of my favorite shows' new episodes were out. I always save the best for last (Grey's Anatomy) and I watch things in the reverse order. I hope that made sense. Typically my Friday to watch list would be something along the lines of CSI, Project Runway or 30 Rock, and finally Grey's Anatomy. However, the internet has been such a butt lately that I haven't been able to watch anything. Then again it might not be the internet and it could just be CBS because Youtube seems to be working fine. I don't know. I don't know anymore. I'm going crazy. I have a facial mask on. I feel like I've been here for five months already. I want to go back to Taiwan. Wah wah wah. I need to stop whining. I was trying to act cool with my sunglasses on but failed because a big leaf fell off a tree and hit me in the face. I think I need some sleep. I just got bitten by a mysterious bug.

Tomorrow should be interesting. I'll definitely tell you guys how it goes. I think I like weekends the most. Not only because there isn't school, but... yeah :) Oh shoot. I promised my grandma I would call her today and I forgot. I must go call her right now... after I get naked that is.

boil eggs & kill the ants <3