The corn

The time has come for this very corny blog post. It's not because Valentines Day is coming up and it's also not because I have anyone in particular on my mind. I was just thinking... (and also procrastinating...)

When someone says "love" what does it mean exactly. It was only recently that I've realized that there is more than one type of love. Love, the general definition, is something that pertains to a strong feeling between two people. But, I think that love shouldn't be restricted by number and objects. In fact, it's possible to love inanimate things as well. Then, there are all the different kinds of feelings of love that one feels. Perhaps there's that special someone that makes you nervous as you're sweating and trying to find the right words to say. Then when you're away from them, they're all you think about. Is that love? Or maybe it's a friend that you value so much that every time you get a text message, an email, a Facebook wall post from them your heart skips a beat and you can't help but smile and respond immediately. Maybe love is the doll that you can't put down and talk to at night (ahem... is this just me?) or maybe it's sentimental: the diamond necklace passed down to you from your grandma. Perhaps love is a long distance phone call to a family member that you don't often find time to talk to or a set Skype date with a friend far away. Maybe it's a combination of all of these. I'm sure it's different for each individual. What is love for you?

There are some people that I seriously don't know what I would do without. The mere thought of them makes me smile. The world needs more of these people (and less useless ones).

By the way. This was supposed to be a lovely post, but I just thought I should put in my two cents about these ridiculous mini skirt, cleavage showing shirts, sheer leggings, jeweled thongs, and boots wearing girls. Seriously people, it is near 30 degrees here. I don't understand how they have the time and energy to dress like bimbos and hookers at 7:00am in the morning. There is not a single guy here that is worth freezing for, so I don't know what on Earth is going through their minds. That being said, I look like a marshmallow all winter-- all year round actually...

valentines candy & shoes <3

Truffles

Truffles. They turned out better than I expected. I kind of just went with my own recipe, so I had no idea how they were going to turn out. The one with the nuts was almond flavored with a walnut exterior, the one with white chocolate had a white chocolate center wrapped with semi sweet milk chocolate truffle coated with white chocolate, the one with cocoa powder on top was the hazelnut coffee truffle. I've got to say though... I made too many. I ended up making around 50 of them (as you can tell from all the leftover truffles in the background). Good thing I live with a bunch of people that like eating. Although there is one thing that I must say... I should have tempered the chocolate. My excuse? It was 2AM and I was too lazy to deal with that, but it would have been better if I did. Anyway, back to studying.

push & pull <3

What's baking?

It's time to bake again. Yes, that does mean that, once again, I am not in the best of moods. Why you ask? Must I even explain? Of course it's that again. I think I might bake macarons with vanilla bean filling... they're so hard to get perfect though and midterms are coming up soon. Bah. I think I'll probably go with truffles instead. Simple and fun. I'm not sure when or how many I'm going to make, but I really need to bake my problems away again. Too bad she can hear me pounding on my piano or else I could just play my problems away. I'll update with pictures when I'm done. Hopefully I'll get a chance to do this sometime soon.

Ahhh, I wish I could drop out of school to be a musician or a patisserie. Of course this is what my aunt said to that idea... "Passion doesn't make money... how are you going to take care of me when I'm old?!" Doctor/dentist it is then. Way to crush my dreams auntie.

I forgot to tell you guys that I cut my hair again because it was bothering me. I wanted to cut it because it got past my shoulders. After I cut it I had a dentist appointment and had to go back to San Jose for a day. When my cousins saw my haircut they said... "Uhh... I thought we told you that you look better with long hair" sigh. Fine then, I'll grow it out again.

I'm going to master Korean and Japanese. I'm not sure how long it will take me, but I will.

read & snore <3

Rejuvinating

Sorry about not updating in a really long time again. It was half due to laziness and the other half due to procrastination and catching up due to procrastination.

When I went to my internship I left my badge at the house so I had to park in a different parking lot. The patient parking lot. Unfortunately, patients need to pay to park there, so when I pulled up to the window he told me I had to pay $7.50 in order to get out. What the heck. I go there to intern without pay and they still want me to pay to park there? Are you kidding me? So, I asked him, "Really? Do I need to pay? But, I intern here!" He said, "Well, you should have a badge, so yeah you need to pay." I told him that I left it at home and that I was really sorry. He shook his head and refused to let me leave without paying. So, I got out my wallet and was about to get out the money when he said, "You know what? Forget it. I'll let you go... but you better bring it next time!" Of course I flashed him a smile, said thanks, and zoomed off. Heh heh... who knew I was this seductive? Not really... (sorry, don't puke people...)

There is definitely a problem with my face. Now I know you're all thinking "...obviously," but I think whenever people see my face they don't have the same reaction they would if they were talking to someone else. I'm not too sure if I make any sense right now. Let me bring up a few examples. So, the first day of Physics D/L there was this very ghetto girl that sat next to me. She had an angry expression on her face so I thought that it would be best to leave her alone. I tried not to make unnecessary eye contact with her , but out of nowhere she says "hey." I said hey back and then it happened. She started telling me her whole life story, her drinking problems, and her doing 'bad' things. I'm not sure if my face says, "Hey, tell me all your problems!" but I've gotten this a lot throughout my life. My friend says it's because I have the face. She says that if people look at me I look like I want to listen to all of their problems. Unfortunately, the majority of the time I don't care to listen. Sometimes though, it can be a good thing. After all, E and I became friends after she stared at me thinking I looked nice right?

Then another instance is at the hospital. The nurses just go around saying "Oh my gosh she's so cute!" grabbing me for hugs and wanting me to follow them. I feel like no one takes me seriously. I'm sure that's good for my future career... Oh, and about my future career... I think at the moment I'm 70% doctor and 30% dentist. My dentist is making me really confused about my future. He keeps telling me to become a dentist because it suits me. How does he know? He must be psychic or something. He lists out all of the reasons going on about how I should work at his clinic and eventually take over for him and he's constantly teaching me random things about dentistry. That tricky dentist almost has me convinced, though. I think it would be really easy career path seeing as how everything is kind of paved already. Not to mention S's mom is a dentist too. I never thought about this, but I think I should be open to... destiny? Ha. I don't know what it is. I'll just go with it.

I've been feeling really drained of energy lately. You can't usually see the bags under my eyes, but I feel like you can see them now. The random allergies have started again. Hopefully they'll be gone in a few days or so. Also, my headaches are back. I examined myself in the mirror a while ago and I really look either malnourished or diseased.

When I was younger I remember loving to eat candy. This shouldn't be surprising seeing as how I was a fat kid, but I remember I was never allowed to eat candy, so I would have to eat it secretly (this probably contributes to why I was so fat). Anyway, they used to have sugar cubes at church for the coffee and I would always sneak into the kitchen, steal a bunch of sugar cubes and leave. Then I would go to the back room where they put the stands and mics and eat them by myself. Now that I look back at the things I've done in the past... what the HECK was I thinking.

Let's see what have I talked about? School, internship, past, present, future... I think that's about it. Oh! Good news guys. I found a new apartment for next year. Win. The problem is moving in. I have no idea how I'm going to move all of this crap again, but at least I know this time it's going to be more permanent. So if anyone wants to help near September I would be eternally grateful. Just saying... :)

wear socks & make tea <3

The days

It's been a while since I updated. So much for being more consistent. I think I still have jet lag. I have the tendency to sleep at random times of the day, which is weird because I'm the type of person that can't take naps.

A few days ago I sat next to a redhead in Physics. I thought it was that person and it scared the crap out of me. She had moles on her hands and arms too. I thought I was about to die in my seat, but eventually I realized that it wasn't who I thought it was. Phew. Saved. Anyways, I realized that I really don't like Physics. It's boring. Not only that, but I have crappy group members in lab. Crappy lab partners = crappy class. Which reminds me... don't you hate it when you sit next to crazy leg shaker, pen clickers, people that mumble to themselves or talk unnecessarily during class? They make me want to slap them. I mean, they're kind of asking for it. Don't people know that when they shake their legs everyone next to them can feel it? And seriously, some people need to learn how to shut up. Drives me insane.

Anyways, what was I saying? Oh, right. Physics. Well, Physics was a failure. What a shame, because I really wanted to like the class. However, I think I like Ochem and Biology is to be determined after lab which is going to happen in approximately one hour. Hopefully I'll have a good Bio partner. Please please please. Although I highly doubt that's going to happen because I was super spoiled last quarter with the amazing TA's and lab partners. Ahh, freak.

I realized that I turned into a semi-antisocial person again, but I suppose I'm too lazy to deal with that right now. I only have enough energy to care about a handful of people.

I think I have a piece of cereal in my bra right now. It's quite uncomfortable, but I'm too lazy to get it out. It'll probably fall out later when I stand up anyway.

What have I been doing these past few days? Well, aside from reading I've been doing nothing. A lot of music-ing and korean drama watching has happened lately. I finished full house in two days. That's a good one though. I don't think I like Bi all that much I don't understand why some girls are in love with him. I prefer Hyun Bin. So handsome~

Alright, I guess I should be heading out. Hopefully life is good for all of you.

throw water & hug dolls <3

A toast

Here's to the new year.

I have crazy jet-lag. I've been sleeping between 7-8am in the morning and waking up between 5-6pm at night. Sorry if I've missed any calls or texts; however, if you're important I should have already called/text you back. And if your name is William I am so sorry, I failed you once again. Wow. Freak my life.

I've become lazier than I was before. Although I did get back on Wednesday, I haven't been doing much. After I got off the plane my cousins harassed me to take them somewhere fun so we went to mini-golf, sky high, elephant bar, and karaoke in one day. I was so exhausted I thought I was going to die. And as for people, well I guess I've hung out with a few of you all, at least the awesome ones that care and remembered to call me. I suppose I'm too lazy to put in effort for people that don't put in effort either. Whatever it doesn't matter. Maybe I should try harder. But, bah. So lazy.

I'm really not liking the weather here. It'll probably be even worse when I go off to school where it's nothing but gray and cold. Of course that's the least of my worries. I cannot wait for our lease to end. Life up there is just annoying.

Oh and I forgot to mention that the picture up there is of the Tiramisu that I ate by myself on the first week there. I'm such a fat person. It was really good, but the Tiramisu that I had on the last week that I was there was even better than this one. So much better that I didn't even have time to remember to take a picture before it was all gone.

My new years resolution is to become 41 kg (roughly 90 lbs). But, if I actually accomplish this I think I might look really disgusting. Well, I mean I look disgusting now, but it could possibly get worse. Maybe I'll try for 50 kg instead. That's apparently how much every person on SNSD weighs... that's probably not healthy. I saw a commercial the other day that said "Stop being fat, America" and it made me laugh.

sleep & munch <3